Who Would You Rather?

I know, asking "Would I rather hump on Gerard Butler or Mel Gibson?" is like asking "Would I rather end up at the top of the CDC's Most Wanted list or would I rather have my genitals banned by Jewish people, black people, gay people, women people, hispanic people, jacuzzis, etc....?"

So apparently, Mel Gibson and Gerard Butler are friends and together they terrorized Miami over the weekend. These pictures have got me craving an IV drip full of Gatorade and menudo, because they look like two hungover and hairy nutsacks in sunglasses. They're like two rejected members of The Pussy Posse. But you know, Gerard is a genius for hanging out with Mel Gibson. Because next to Mad Mel, Gerard looks like a fresh piece of fresh ass and you completely forget that his crotch probably smells like a Limburger cheese and tonsil stones sandwich and you don't even care that when he unzips his pants, an unidentified wart mysteriously grows on your genitals. Who cares! Give me Gerard! Give me a mysterious kind of STD! But don't give me Mel Gibson!

Besides, call me vanilla, but when a sweaty piece is grunting over my back, I really don't want to hear him moaning about how Jews are evil. I also don't want a piece to threaten to burn my house down if I don't tickle his huevos. Oh, and don't call Mel's ballsack "huevos" or he'll demand to see your papers and call INS on you. That's a total orgasm killer.

FameFlynet

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:15am.

Mel is a real man, a 100% str8 tuna-tasting and stinkhole-sniffing, fish-fucking heterosexual male.

Gerard, on the other hand, is a homosexual!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 10:41pm.

Gerard > Mel but honestly, neither. Have at him people. Don't let me interrupt. *hears horrid grunting noises* ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:42pm.

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:30pm.
Ack.

Gerard Butler always has this hungry, perverted look on his face like he just shat himself & enjoyed it. Nothing sexy about him AT ALL.
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Ok, DListers we can all pack up and go home now. CLEAR THE DLISTED LOBBY!!! Cuz ^^^^^^^.
Shat himself and enjoyed it???? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *dies*. Troof tellin' though.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by LoCoJo on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:39pm.

Gotta go with Butler(was there ever any question?). Maybe it's because he looks dirty, but he seems like he'd be up for anything.

Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:35pm.

#Twins

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 8:30pm.

Ack.

Gerard Butler always has this hungry, perverted look on his face like he just shat himself & enjoyed it. Nothing sexy about him AT ALL.

And Mel...what the fuck else is there to say?

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 7:00pm.

GHEY!!! Ultra-conservative Catholic Jesus will forgive BUTT SEKS along with adultery, divorce, and domestic violence if you ask him to, though.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 5:26pm.

Nice purse, Gerard.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 5:07pm.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:32pm.

Mel is sort of worming his way back to Hollywood respectability by latching onto select acting friends:

apparently he is sponsor to Hollywood alcoholics and addicts up and down the food chain. and has personally funded parts of a career comeback or two [talk to RDJ]. i've read this in media and a friend's dad implied as much after attending a LA event for the organization for family of alcoholics/addicts [cant think of name right now]. this Butler thing might have something to do with that. i've speculated that he may have sponsored some of the people who tried to defend him [see RDJ again and Jodie Foster]

imo does not make up for the rest of him, but i would guess that he's not the type of guy who needs to beg people to be seen with him

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 5:02pm.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:32pm.
Mel is sort of worming his way back to Hollywood respectability by latching onto select acting friends: "
______________________________________________
For all his faults he seems to have strange loyalties. Jodie Foster is no dummy yet she defends him quite strongly and in the open as does Robert Downey jr and a few other people I kinda went...huh, really..you still like Mel?

They must not be Jewish I guess....or have sugar tits lol

He's a dip shit..but GD if I don't still like Road Warriors and Mad Max.

Submitted by Two Drink Min on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:58pm.

I could just imagine with upstanding behavior these two would display at a bar together.

Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:49pm.

Neither because I would have to go to rehab after.

Submitted by miz cynical on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:48pm.

I guess I'd have to go with Gerry since Mel wouldn't want anything to do my brown ass. Plus, Gerry seems like he'd be more a freak, than standard 'ol "Blow Me" Mel :).

Submitted by que cochina on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:44pm.

Eeyyuucchh to the human Petri dish AND the rageoholic racist/misogynist/drunk! Slitting my wrists would be preferable to keeping company with either of these tools.

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:29pm.

Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:29pm.

that is Gerard Butler? what the fuck is he doing to himself?

and that smell-o-vision image of limburger and tonsil...urp...grropph.

*vomit*

sometimes your gift is my curse, MK.
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Yeah, I'm usually very hard to gross out and not much puts me off my food, but this made me gag on my falafel. HURK

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:06pm.

The Bromance for 2013.

What's out: Armstrong/McConaughey.

What's in: Gibson/Butler.

Submitted by perky on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 4:05pm.

Thank you, MK for the "Gross" tag. Aside from his racist, misogynist, anti-semite attitude, I can't believe anyone would go near Mel with his yellow teeth, stubby sausage fingers, smoker's coffee breath, and wiry pube-covered arms and legs. GROSS indeed!!

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:59pm.

Mel has got two diagonal lines on either side of his forehead, and during his meltdown a year or two ago a commenter here wittily remarked that "that must be from when they surgically removed his horns" (words to that effect). Every time I see Mel I remember laughing at that comment. So kudos, whoever it was that made that glorious on-point observation.

Submitted by mike on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:54pm.

Gerard is hanging with Mel?

Submitted by justincase on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:53pm.

Submitted by snowpiece "... when Mel was young, like in The Year of Living Dangerously" ...

... he was dreamy and I loved that movie and now I feel weird about the whole affair!

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:52pm.

Mel. Only because there's a better likelihood of getting some cash after.

Submitted by Joeb on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:51pm.

Add Stallone & Ah-Nulled and you got a dream "Dancing With The Has-Beens" line-up for 2014. Team with Lilo, KStew, JenniAnn & DieMe and there's a Baba Wawa preview special for icing on this retirement cake.

Submitted by princesspoppy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:50pm.

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:42pm.

Gerard please return my grampa's mid 1970s outfit immediately.
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Honey I don't think y'all want that back.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:49pm.

The word tonsil-stone sandwich has to be the most disgusting thing ever written on dlisted . Gah.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:49pm.

DD OMG when Mel was young, like in The Year of Living Dangerously, he was so hot, one my first crushes!
Now he's just revolting.

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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:49pm.

Submitted by FluffKitteh on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:10pm.
They probably smell like a mixture of Old Spice and B.O.

LOL I usually say "Old Spice and ass"

**************************
"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA

Sucky 12/19

Submitted by DiamondDogs on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:48pm.

I saw some photos of Mel Gibson in his younger days and all I see is ugly now. He is ugly inside and out. It is very true about how someone's personality and behaviour can make a beauty look like a beast.

Submitted by justincase on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:45pm.

Evidently, Gerard feels the need to join Mel's "Aging Badly Club For Men" and this kind of free press can't hurt the cause - right?

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:42pm.

Gerard please return my grampa's mid 1970s outfit immediately.

Submitted by LareezyDaBreezy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:42pm.

sessy! Either one of these guys could vagina punch me anyday. Lol jk. Yuck, vom.

*Crackie is growing up*

Submitted by Daniee on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:39pm.

Uhh, you couldn't pay me enough!

Apparantly there's blind on CDAN about these two going around pretending to be 'sober' when Mel is drunk as fuck.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:15pm.
BUT FIRST YOU WILL BLOW ME!!!!!
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Bwaahahaha!! In the jacuzzi you better fucking blow me!

Submitted by TOPANGA on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:38pm.

They were prob bumping uglies with each other the whole weekend...literally.
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by RedHeadTheGinge on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:38pm.

How does anyone find that Gerard Butler guy attractive? He is not even a 3 on a scale of 10. I don't just mean in this photo - I mean always. He is NOT attractive.

Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:37pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:29pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:27pm.

I choose celibacy.
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100% complete and total lies.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You're right - I choose The Butler. But I wouldn't like it (much)

Submitted by LareezyDaBreezy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:34pm.

Oh Michael K. I love you. This made me literally lol. Will you turn straight and marry me please?

*Crackie is growing up

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:32pm.

Mel is sort of worming his way back to Hollywood respectability by latching onto select acting friends: "See, if X likes me, I can't be all bad, right?"

If I had his money, I'd move to Costa Rica and tell Hollywood to kiss my racist white ass.

* * * *
Electric Feel

Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:31pm.

Well... Neither. But if a gun was at my head? Gerry.

Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:29pm.

that is Gerard Butler? what the fuck is he doing to himself?

and that smell-o-vision image of limburger and tonsil...urp...grropph.

*vomit*

sometimes your gift is my curse, MK.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
God don't like ugly.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:29pm.

Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:27pm.

I choose celibacy.
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100% complete and total lies.

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♪♫ I'm gonna tap dat ass,
I got your momma's number in my pocket,
gonna call your momma,
boy, you know I'm gonna,
I'm gonna tap dat ass ♫♪ ~ jacklemore

Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:27pm.

I choose celibacy. Shut up - there's a first time for everything.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:26pm.

<"Submitted by skinny fat on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:20pm.
Submitted by TexnDoc on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:15pm.

I bet Mel teased him about his purse.
**************

IT'S EUROPEAN!">

Mel: "Oh, thure it isth, Geraldine."

Submitted by elanenergy on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:25pm.

Isn't this funny. These two now "besties." Hey, rejects have to stick together. I choose Gerard, because I'm not much with the Jewish hate. However, Gerard would have to.....triple bag it! LOL (

My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.

Submitted by annobanano on Mon, 02/04/2013 - 3:20pm.

Butler looks fresh?????? Oh hell no!!!! Gibson's got about 15 years on him and they look the same age.