Monday, December 3rd 2012

Prince Hot Ginge Is Going To Be An Uncle!

Duchess Kate officially has a royal case of the babies and she's laid up in the hospital, because she can't stop barfing. The Palace announced the news today:

Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby. The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall and Prince Harry and members of both families are delighted with the news. The Duchess was admitted this afternoon to King Edward VII Hospital in Central London with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. As the pregnancy is in its very early stages, Her Royal Highness is expected to stay in hospital for several days and will require a period of rest thereafter.

December 3, 2012 is the day where I felt jealousy toward a fetus, because it will get its first vodka shot from Prince Hot Ginge at Christmas dinner in a few years and it gets to sit on PHG's lap whenever it wants. And I really hope Prince William and Kate name their kid "Morrissey."

Posted by: Michael K


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Sorry Latex Jungle. I feel for you- I also have fertility problems (due to a hormone imbalance). It's tough, especially when living in a society that's pretty obsessed with motherhood- it's downright trendy to be carrying a baby right now. The message is that motherhood is the most important and only role of a woman. Sure, motherhood is great, but we have so much more to offer than only birthing babies. There are other ways to contribute to the world and other people/animals we can nurture in lieu of our own kids.

And honestly, I don't really understand the tabloid obsession with celebrity "baby bumps" (ugh, I hate that phrase). Humans have been reproducing for thousands of years- it's not that original. I'll reserve my real interest for the babies of my family and friends. I do wish Will and Kate well, of course- I'm just dreading the upcoming media frenzy.

WendyNerd's picture

I'm not a royalist or anything, and I know this sounds sappy, but...

I REALLY WANT THEM TO HAVE A GIRL AND NAME IT DIANA.

Butterfly in the sky
I can go twice as high
Take a look
It's in a book
Pig-fucking movie
Pig-fucking movie

Hockey fan's picture

Being too thin doesn't necessarily mean you can't carry a baby. And some women just have great metabolisms. I was lucky with my metabolism-- at my 20 yr reunion I weighed five more pounds than I did in high school. I ate anything I wanted and never had to exercise. Now I'm 51 and have gained some weight, but I still look pretty damn good. And when my sister got pregs, she only gained 15 pounds and delivered just fine.

Hockey fan's picture

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:41pm.

Well, Ginge is not married to a fish and does not seem to be boning a fish......we say Ginge is homosexual!

^^^^^^

OH CHRIST ALL FUCKING MIGHTY. shut the fuck up if you have nothing new to say.

Hockey fan's picture

OMG, I am so glad MK worded that headline the way he did! And think of this: if MK ever had a threesome with PHG and AC369, we'd never hear from him again. That would suck. DON'T DO IT, MICHAEL!!! Your horz need you!

WithinReason...'s picture

Congrats to them and LOL at MK's jelly heart! Psst... you can do all that now, you don't need to be a baby. haha ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Craigypants's picture

Hasn't she been pregnant for a year? I guess the gossip rags finally got one right.
Good for them, Those royals haven't been a hit in the looks department, i guess that's what happens when you marry cousins. I hope it doesn't come out looking like a goblin. They should get John Travolta to deliver it. He can give her a pain free, silent birth with his magical powers of assist!

Uptown James's picture

I think she jes been suckin' too much on Hot Ginge's wank and eatin' too much of his jizz. That why she keep[ barfin'. Same thing happened to me.
_____________________________________________

"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."

PRmamacita's picture

Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 1:36pm.
It's a horrible awful condition. I too had it during both of my pregnancies. I was hospitalized because of weight loss and dehydration. I vomited everything back up. The smell of food made me vomit. I wanted to die and was so scared that it was harming my babies. My doctor told me it may not happen with the second one, so like an idiot I got pregnant again after five years. The second one one wasn't as bad but I still had to be hospitalized again. Nine months of pure hell. I hope that my daughter doesn't develop this if she ever has children.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I was lied to by my doc too! He told me with my first that it does not necessarily happen with every pregnancy, and so I clung onto that hope and went for a second 6 years later. Well it was even WORSE that time! By the time I delivered, I was 5 lbs LESS than BEFORE I became pregnant. I couldn't keep down the prenatal vitamins and I had nightmares that my baby was developing spina bifida because of my inablity to take them. My hyperemesis lasted until the day I delivered. Also, I was given an additional "gift" with that pregnancy: the "spits". It's as gross as it sounds. Your mouth makes so much extra saliva and being already nauseous you don't want to swallow so you get to carry around a "spit" cup and look like you're spitting tobacco juice every 15 seconds. Not cute. I thought it was the stuff of pregnancy myths/horror stories but then it happened to me! Not only do I not want to deal with another pregnancy, but I don't think my husband will be able to look at me again, throwing up every hour for 9 mos. - spit cup in hand :) Ain't pregnancy grand??!

With that being said - I'm imagining Kate with a jewel-encrusted royal spit cup, demurely spitting while shaking hands with diplomats......
Please let this happen!

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:41pm.

Well, Ginge is not married to a fish and does not seem to be boning a fish......we say Ginge is homosexual!

As day inevitably follows night.

CeeCee's picture

I'm betting it'll be called Mary Victoria if it's a girl or George Phillip if it's a boy. Because these two are a snooze-fest.

kortni_thegreat's picture

"Human decency is not derived from religion. It precedes it." Christopher Hitchens
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Oh great, 9 months of royal fuckery. The British monarchy is a joke anyways, I'm more excited for the Taylor swift/Harry Styles split. That is gonna be one ugly baby, although, 2 ugly people might make a pretty baby.

I think the royal family pushed Kate and Wills to get knocked up after Kate flashed her tits on a balcony.

Will doesn't seem in a rush to be a family man, and I'm sure that Kate wanted more time to be a fashionista.

However, between her booty shorts/crotch flashing at a roller disco (while still the royal concubine), her buns on display on the tarmac (Canadian trip), and her tits on the balcony (jugs-gate 2012), it became clear that Kate doesn't have much discretion when it comes to her body. I think she wants to be "lady like", but is still quite immature, and not inherently classy (people just give her credit for being classy because royal stylists always make sure she dresses well).

The Queen and royal advisers figured that if Waity was knocked up, she'd have to sit the fuck down, and be more discrete. I can see them rationalizing that a pregnant woman isn't going to wear a thin skirt on a breezy day, or take off her bra in the open air.

So the commandment was handed down: get preggers, or your allowance is cut!

As for why she's in the hospital: bitch is too thin. I know her stans want to scream that her weight doesn't matter, but in the US, we've already seen this bs play out with Guiliana Rancic from E!. Being too thin means you can fit into sample sizes, but makes it hard to carry a baby. Facts are facts.

_____________________________________________________________
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

I'm happy for them. I hope her pregnancy goes well.

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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Girl or boy, that crotchfruit is going to have one FUN uncle!

***********************************************

WWJDFAKB's picture

And so it begins..I just love how MK still makes it all about Prince Hot Ginge. I read somewhere that all of this is making Camilla hit the sauce hardcore, good.

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

KA's picture

i hope it all goes well for her. i threw up the entire time and had a ng tube the last month, as well as pumps in my arm and leg, and i was hooked up to an iv 24/7. not fucking cool in the least but i have a beautiful child that came out of it so it was worth it. just not worth it again for me.

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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK

TheBreakdown's picture

Hopefully, but not likely, Kate can breed out the inbred fug battling that family tree since centuries!

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bexicle's picture

Submitted by Naughychimp on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:24pm.

I hope this is the first of many children for them; wouldn't it be great if they started a trend of people who could AFFORD to have big families and who don't seem to have major mental issues (looking at you, OctoMom), having lots of kids?!

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- I have a hard time telling whether you're being sincere?
William and Kate don't afford anything, they live in several houses paid for by British taxpayers, he and his brother have military careers paid by taxes (and there was some serious questioning over Harrys qualifications being fixed years ago).
The Queen apparently dissaproved that Kate had a job before the marriage, and she should be a home maker. I think Wills and Kate will have two at most, it seems to be the norm within the Royal family descendants.

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by betseyfan2 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:55pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:48pm.
I'm surprised they're announcing it so soon if she is still "in the early stages". It's usually safer to wait until you've gotten through the 1st trimester.

^^^^^^

Hi. They've explained it's because she's in hospital and the questions will fly
********

Yes, I guess so. Well I hope she gets through it ok and they have a healthy baby. It's an incredible experience.

************
"He gurned his way through the Charleston like Lionel Blair on acid, even throwing in a moonwalk and a somersault for good measure."

betseyfan2's picture

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:48pm.
I'm surprised they're announcing it so soon if she is still "in the early stages". It's usually safer to wait until you've gotten through the 1st trimester.

^^^^^^

Hi. They've explained it's because she's in hospital and the questions will fly.

*************************************
"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma

betseyfan2's picture

Submitted by Oddly_Titillating on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:20pm.

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! I feel like people just look for things to pick on, and since Kate doesn't act like a ho and isn't a complete fuckup in some other way, it has to be her weight.

I'm actually 6 months preggo myself... I wasn't exactly a STICK pre-pregnancy but I was thin. Still am, aside from belly and jugs. No issues conceiving either, got 'er done on the first try.

^^^^^^

Agreed.

And CONGRATS! I stayed thin during pregnancy, too. The already big boobs went REAL fat though...I had to order a 5-hook bra from Sears.

*************************************
"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma

joe shmoe's picture

I'm surprised they're announcing it so soon if she is still "in the early stages". It's usually safer to wait until you've gotten through the 1st trimester.

A client asked someone I work with how far along she was. She was soooo pissed. Ummm dude, that's fupa, not fetus.

************
"He gurned his way through the Charleston like Lionel Blair on acid, even throwing in a moonwalk and a somersault for good measure."

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

Well, Ginge is not married to a fish and does not seem to be boning a fish......we say Ginge is homosexual!

Naughychimp's picture

I'm with BREE. William seems like a nice guy and I think he'll be a devoted dad. Kate's a social climber and very conventional but a sweet, sensetive woman (like Diana) would be eaten alive by the press & social pressures so I can't hate.

I hope this is the first of many children for them; wouldn't it be great if they started a trend of people who could AFFORD to have big families and who don't seem to have major mental issues (looking at you, OctoMom), having lots of kids?!

SANS FARDS's picture

I hope they give Sir Bob Geldof or Katie Price naming rights. Princess Sugar Fairy Pippi Trixielulabelle Windsor, anyone?

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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.

"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."

Oddly_Titillating's picture

Submitted by betseyfan2 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 3:12pm.

THANK YOU!!!!

I, too, eat like a fucking horse and am thin, and I had NO problem getting pregnant.

_______

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! I feel like people just look for things to pick on, and since Kate doesn't act like a ho and isn't a complete fuckup in some other way, it has to be her weight.

I'm actually 6 months preggo myself... I wasn't exactly a STICK pre-pregnancy but I was thin. Still am, aside from belly and jugs. No issues conceiving either, got 'er done on the first try.

betseyfan2's picture

Submitted by Oddly_Titillating on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 2:33pm.
Also, I feel like people are way too critical of her weight. Some people are just thin. I have a really close friend who is built just like her, no history of any kind of eating disorder AND she eats whatever she wants.

^^^^^^^^^

THANK YOU!!!!

I, too, eat like a fucking horse and am thin, and I had NO problem getting pregnant.

*************************************
"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma

Nanners's picture

Congrats I suppose. I hope the kid gets its looks from mum.

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

the original bellaluna's picture

I feel bad for her. I had the serious barfs with 2 of my 3 children (I lost so much weight that I broke even by their delivery dates), and it SUCKED.

Arguing with my prickfaced military doctor about why I couldn't go to work was just the frosting on that particular cake.

I finally said to him "Because throwing up 20 hours a day is not a marketable job skill, unless I'm an Ipecac tester. And I'm not."

Bree's picture

Submitted by Versailles on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 2:15pm.

I understand that women who are very overweight or very underweight have a hard time conceiving but coming from a doctor, saying she is "obviously starving herself" is pretty presumptuous, don't you think? Some women are naturally rail thin no matter what they eat. Obviously that does not run in my family LOL but I have several friends who are sticks and eat way more than I do.

Opinions like that are the reason why people who are over or underweight don't even go to the doctor. So many doctors just assume every ailment must have something to do with their weight and too bad, so sad, too lazy to treat it so we'll just tell them to lose/gain weight and shoo them off. Lazy medicine, that's all it is.

Callan's picture

@ stefystef and Orangina

I believe the royals are supposed to use the name Mountbatten-Windsor, which Queen Elizabeth apparently devised after Prince Philip complained that his own children wouldn't carry his surname. However, I don't think anyone actually uses it in practice. For the school and the military, William and Harry have used Wales as their last name. I think Beatrice and Eugenie use York as theirs.

Bree's picture

I can't even say anything bad. These are good folks who have been together quite a while. Stable people, stable relationship. Responsible, altruistic, hardworking people that try to give back. I'd be a dick to say anything negative. I hope she feels better, serious pregnancy barfs sounds like a nightmare.

Oddly_Titillating's picture

Aww, I'm happy for them. I read on another site that she's not 12 weeks along yet. I guess they felt pressured to announce it now because she's so sick. Hopefully she's not so early on that there's a chance she could lose the baby. That would be sad.

Also, I feel like people are way too critical of her weight. Some people are just thin. I have a really close friend who is built just like her, no history of any kind of eating disorder AND she eats whatever she wants. Kate is a classy person, not a trashy sleaze ball scumbag like so many celebs out there... can't we just leave her be?

... Then again, I have a strong-bordering-on-unhealthy girl crush on her. So, I could be biased.

Jewslim's picture

lay back and think of england kate!

Latex Jungle's picture

So feeling you, Topanga. I never got to have kids because of two autoimmune illnesses that screwed up my fertility, and women out here in CowboyLand are always throwing thta in my face, like the only way to be a "real" woman is by reproducing. So I cringe every time I hear about another celeb pregnancy. I hate all the focus the media puts on pregnancy and motherhood, I truly do. Men are so lucky. If a man, George Clooney for instance, doesnt have kids,, nobody considers that to be a judgement on his life.

CoconutCoochie's picture

This makes me grateful that I was barely sick during my first trimester.

Orangina's picture

@stefystef and shopaholic

That's so weird that they basically don't have a last name! They should just be like "My last name is Lannister! Now bring me your Dragon Queen!"
Sorry, Game of Thrones nerd.

Dion flowerboy's picture

PHG is MK's Funny Uncle.

Aww, congrats to them both. Extreme morning sickness is bad, but methinks pregnancy related sciatica is worse (still feeling the effects years later).

I think these two will make nice parents; I think...

Versailles's picture

Submitted by soulfly16 on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 2:01pm.
Submitted by Versailles on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 1:52pm.

Waity is even skinnier than Posh, so how she is able to become pregnant beats me.
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Versailles you ignoramus, Being skinny or fat has nothing to do with the ability to get pregnant.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Well, I am a pediatrician, and have some knowledge in how the female body works.

Women who are very skinny, and women who are obese tend to have more difficulties in conceiving. I thought this was common knowledge. Kate is obviously starving herself, as Posh andJolie are.

"Tend to" does not mean everyone. I am 45 and got pregnant last year after one month of trying, and now have a healthy daughter. That does not mean women of 45 can easily get pregnant.

Old, skinny, obese, all of these are factors who makes it more difficult to become pregnant.

Hyperemesis is horrible, and Kate has nothing to go on since she is so skinny to begin with.

salacious's picture

I don't care for the monarchy but I wish them well with this pregnancy, but for sure she'll have the best medical attention in the world. I hope they have a ginge princess. She must be in her second trimester now. No one is foolish enough to announce a pregnancy in its first trimester these days.

Captain Howdy's picture

So would it help if Kate smoked some medical marijuana? That could be her landmines issue.

shopaholic's picture

Submitted by Orangina on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 2:05pm.
Do the Royals have a last name?
~~~~~~
Wills & Harry use the names Wales on their military uniforms.

stefystef's picture

Submitted by Orangina on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 2:05pm.
Do the Royals have a last name?

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I believe it is Windsor. It was a German surname (because of Queen Victoria's german husband), but they changed it during WWI.

http://www.royal.gov.uk/thecurrentroyalfamily/theroyalfamilyname/overvie...

______________________________________________________________
"That shit was more staged and choreographed than Paul Ryan's soup kitchen visit."- MK, 10/16/12

shopaholic's picture

Succession laws were changed earlier this year and the first born child of reigning monarchs becomes the heir to the throne. It does not matter if it's a son or a daughter.

Orangina's picture

Do the Royals have a last name?

tasty dish's picture

So according to Royal protocol, how soon after the baby's birth can Wills take on a mistress?

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Submitted by agirl on Mon, 12/03/2012 - 1:43pm.
"Hyperemesis Gravidarum" sounds like something out of Harry Potter. But I guess it means pregnancy barfs.

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Hahhah, it so does! It's extreme pregnancy barfs, though, to the point that nothing stays down and you need IV nutrition, not the regular old, "the smell of McDonald's is making me sick" pregnancy nausea like most women have.