Taylor Swift To The Rescue
Taylor Swift is currently humping her way to her next #1 album, but she took a little time away from skipping through the lavender fields with the mop-headed twink from One Direction who I always mistake for Maggie Gyllenhaal. Taylor dropped Harry Styles' hand for a second to comfort a friend of need. Taylor gave her best friend 4 eva a shoulder to weep on, because Selena Gomez still isn't over Justin Bieber embarrassing her by wearing the most fucked up toddler outfit ever.
Taylor and Selena had dinner at an Italian restaurant and I'm sure the former told the latter not to get mad, get THAT MONEY by writing a song about the douche who hurt her in the heart. Then afterward, they drove to Selena's house, got into their pajamas and shared a raw cookie dough log while laughing about how they don't need stupid smelly boys when they've got each other! As they got higher and higher on raw cookie dough, they rolled around on the carpet, giggled.... and I'm going to stop now before I write the lezzie fan fiction that NOBODY wants to read. I've already gone too far.
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especially when it is for a luxury brand? "Pierre cardin" (we don't think it is a real luxury brand) was extended to wine, produced a "Pierre cardin" wine, but failed. If the "Nike" dare to do so, also must have good luck is not long. "Remy Martin" if successfully launched a shampoo, "p&g" must be the foam with rage.
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I see right through this.. This is all a ploy to get close to Justin Beiber.. And it's not because she's in love with him, it's because she wants to date him long enough to write another hit song. Watch your back Selina.
Look at all the orbs in these pics! Swift is clearly being haunted by the ghosts of all the men she's maligned in her songs. Ooooooooooooo!!!!!!! She should be on celebrity ghost stories...
Hmmm, I wonder what that t-shirt could be referring to?
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 11:07am.
i live my life filled with mean girl quotes lol
Taylor Swift: Like throwing a pencil down a mine shaft.
Loopy, lmao at the burn book! *cries*
Now Selena can write about his bageena and screaming out for Mommy at night instead of heading to therapy. TayTay will have plenty of new material too. :)
And Lautner doesn't play waiter #2, he's strictly dickly #1 now! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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The Soup nailed it
http://ca.eonline.com/videos/198336/the-soup-taylor-swift-s-life-experie...
Swifty's shoes...WANT!
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"Marriage is what you do when you decide one cock is good enough to let the owner annoy you for the rest of your life." - TrashyWilma
No one has mentioned Selena's shirt! I personally like them both. Team Selena.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Maybe she'll collaborate with We will never, ever, ever do our nails together...ever...no really ever. Like never. Definitely...no...not ever.
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Submitted by Kizzy on Mon, 11/19/2012 - 2:04am.
"You're So Vain", by Carly Simon. Everyone knew it was about Beatty, she didn't have to come out and say it, and when she finally did, it was after a couple of decades or so.
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Carly Simon says it was David Geffen.
I LOVE Taylor's handbag!! LOVE. That is all.
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I like to smile, smiling's my favorite! : )
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Psst, Swifty! Here's a tip: stop writing songs about the guys you fuck, else nobody will fuck you. Herpes Hilton may have the gift that lasts forever, but bad songwriting becomes part of bubblegum country music history. It's not just kissing and telling, it's telling everyfuckbody, everyfuckwhere. Besides, famewhore, you garner more attention by making everyone wonder,i.e. "You're So Vain", by Carly Simon. Everyone knew it was about Beatty, she didn't have to come out and say it, and when she finally did, it was after a couple of decades or so.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 11:21pm.
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...now THAT is the lezzie fan fiction NOBODY wants to read...:)
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...'...It's just a matter of common courtesy...you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!...'...
Famewhores unite!
I love this couple. I want to hear Swift's future album called INDIGO LOVE CLOUDS, which will of course explain their bond.
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All the fauxmances have made me think Taylor is gay.
This is a really new twist to the old "Skank and pickle" trend.
I've heard that she is actually an early in life lesbian....
misslainey said
I've always felt Taylor will be a late in life lesbian.
"Two starter beards. You can bet that these two will be "dating" men of dubious sexual orientations for years to come..Selen especially because she has no authentic talent. Her talent is "I'm Selena Gomez".
bullshit. selena is a great actress. go watch ramona and beezus
maybe they can collaborate on a song called "pick up your droopy ass pants"
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You don't kiss when you kiss. You don't fuck when you fuck. You don't say what you mean. You don't talk loud enough.
-Fiona Apple
After Taylor and Selena eat pizza and watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua 4, Taylor gets bored and comes up with an idea. "Selenie, I know where my daddy keeps his Wild Turkey." Selena smiles, looking unsure and says, "I don't know about this. I'm not 21 yet like you." Taylor tells her to quit being a Disney priss, and triple dog dares her to do a double shot. They wind up giddy and decide to have a pillow fight, which gets intense to the point that Selena stumbles into a door and her nightie gets torn on the handle, exposing her round breasts, full for her age, with nipples erect. "Selenie," Taylor whispers as she moves closer to her, dropping the pillow, "I know where my momma keeps her vibrators." Selena gasps as Taylor takes her nipple into her mouth and lets her lips slide all around the sensitive peak. She squeezes Selena's firm buns with her cherry red manicured fingers. Taylor gets Selena off for the first time (Justin just poked her with his dick and never seemed too interested in her, he was such a lousy lover) with a pink bunny vibrator that makes her squeal with satisfaction. Two days later, Taylor writes a song about the incident and performs it at the AMAs and Selena hates Taylor's guts for ever after.
Are we sure Taylor's last name isn't Kardashian? Didn't she just get dumped by the Kennedy kid? Bitch is going to have to ask Paris Hilton for tips on herpes outbreaks soon!!
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I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
Shades of Paris and Britney, right before Britney derailed completely.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Not buying this shit. Either Taylor is hanging out with Selena to do some recon on Bieber (the easier to snare him with her crazy poo say) OR she's currently without inspiration for writing another breakup song and hopes Selena will give her some ideas.
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I love Jayzus but I drink a little.
Submitted by bourgie on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 10:29pm.
Her live performances are usually pretty bad...her tone is always off but really it's all about the "hairflip" anyway!
http://gifsoup.com/view/1361340/taylor-swift.html
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just came across Taylor performing on the AMA's she can't sing. With her it's all show & costumes and no substance
Jillian Selena Gomez and Mila Kunis are look a likes.
Submitted by bourgie on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 10:14pm.
make that 3, joe jonas, taylor lautner and jakey poo are all ghey.
taylor lautner was dating dustin lance black. although his people tried to make it out that "he was auditioning for a role in Milk or J Edgar"
really? can you see taylor lautner in a movie like Milk or J Edgar? what was he gonna play? waiter No.2 in restaurant?
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 10:12pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 9:58pm.
And I thought I was in my own head a bit too much. lOVE YA!
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*hugs*
Two starter beards. You can bet that these two will be "dating" men of dubious sexual orientations for years to come..Selen especially because she has no authentic talent. Her talent is "I'm Selena Gomez".
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 9:58pm.
And I thought I was in my own head a bit too much. lOVE YA!
Selena has a little girl face on an adult woman's body. It freaks me out.
And really, Taylor, with the One Direction guy? Can you at least try not bearding for once?
"that's alot more personality than u have"
How OLD are you?
mk needs to comment on the am something awards!
Selena: O.M.G taylor like it was totes embarassing when justin turned up 2 da restaurant looking like dat.
i waz like wtf omg and then i saw he had my padded bra underneath cuz he wanted 2 look like he had pecs.
Taylor: O.M.G selena, you should totally write that in my Burn Book.
S: whats your burn book?
T: Well its a book where we put pictures of all the people we don't like in it.
S: Oh okay... *reads* Jake Gylenhaal is a cocksucker with dick breath? is that ?
T: Still true...
S: Joe Jonas once made out with a hot dog..waaa?
T: Still half true...
S: Taylor Lautner once had rpattz pubes in his teeth.
T: true and ohhh he had never seeing a girl before cuz he has only ever had dick.
S: john mayer cries when he cums
T: ... now why you don't write what you said about justin in there.
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 9:35pm.
"I do not believe Selena Gomez's good girl act for 1 second. I think she is as manufactured as they come. Demi had a good girl, disney image too until it was broke open by her hitting a backup dancer (?)...then it started: the drugs, the sexy times, etc."
"if she were it would've come out by now. and how does she have a good girl image? her character alex russo is the biggest bitch on the disney channel. if she was on Nick instead of Disney no one would call her a fake"
Not necessarily. People bought Britney's virginity claim, then that Justin popped it, for years when it reality, she was drinking and having sex in Hs, in Louisiana. And remember, that defense would have worked for Demi too, until the story actually came out.
Sans Fards, I forgot about the whole lack of talent thing.
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Hotmami, she could do a complete 180 like Christina Aguilera with that "Stripped" album and go full on super sex symbol. But unlike Christina, she can't really...well....sing. So that probably would just look silly.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Taylor makes me sick. Bitch, no one believes your act anymore. Seriously. Own your pussy power, girl!
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There might have been a time when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life
Submitted by Anita Bidet on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 8:47pm.
u got proof selena and justin were fake? i didn't think so
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Nope. Simply my superb powers of deductive reasoning that have allowed me to arrive at this conclusion.
As with Rob and KStew, Kelly and John Travolta, and Tommy Girl & Katie, most people can tell a publicity stunt relationship when they see one.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
"I do not believe Selena Gomez's good girl act for 1 second. I think she is as manufactured as they come. Demi had a good girl, disney image too until it was broke open by her hitting a backup dancer (?)...then it started: the drugs, the sexy times, etc."
Selena's the only one on Disney who's not a fake, the only one who isn't partying like a sleazy rockstar when the cameras aren't around. if she were it would've come out by now. and how does she have a good girl image? her character alex russo is the biggest bitch on the disney channel. if she was on Nick instead of Disney no one would call her a fake
I can just imagine the depth of their conversation...
Selena: Like, I'm totally thinking of breaking up with Justin for real this time
Taylor: OMG. Like, you totally should. Like, when I break up with a guy, I totally find it...what's the word? Liberalating...
Selena: Um, excuse me...Waitress, could I, like, get a new water glass? This one's, like, totally grooss.
Taylor: Ewwwwwwwwww....
Selena: Did you see that waitress's shoes? OMG. hiddy! I would never wear ugly shoes even if I was, like, a poor waitress or something.
Taylor: I know right? There's no excuse for that.
Selena: Yeah, like, anyway back to Justin. Will you, like help me co-write a like, break up song about him cuz, like, you are soooo good at that.
Taylor: OMG. I totally will!
Selena: OMG. Rad! Ok. How much of a, like, tip are you gonna leave the waitress with the ugly shoes?
Taylor: Like, enough for her to get some new shoes. I mean, at, like, wherever those kind of people shop.
Selena: Ok, me too.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Is anyone watching the AMA'S tonight? Hopefully Taylor Swift doesn't win anything.
I don' know anything about Selena Gomez but I think she is physically just cute beyond words.
Hope she's not an asshole.
Taylor Swift, can KMA
I do not believe Selena Gomez's good girl act for 1 second. I think she is as manufactured as they come. Demi had a good girl, disney image too until it was broke open by her hitting a backup dancer (?)...then it started: the drugs, the sexy times, etc.
Taylor is obviously get around girl and not all "hello Kitty" that she projects. I read her RS interview and it was like she had butterflies flying out of her mouth, and boy, did she paint a "bambi in the woods" image!
Such is the folly of love...women continue to open their legs and men love squirting their cocks.
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"Taylor Swift is just the right person to help Selena get over her fake relationship. Tay Tay would know all about it, having gone through the same thing with Jakey Gyllenhall."
u got proof selena and justin were fake? i didn't think so
"These two have as much personality as a loaf of stale bread, dull, boring and forgettable.
I'm sick of having Taylor Swift rammed down my troat on every TV show with her dependent victim songs. She seems to get around alot."
that's alot more personality than u have