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The #1 enemy of the buttfuck people, Xtina, teased us buttfuck people by showing us the butt that we will never be able to fuck.... unless we've got about 12 hours of free time, a tow truck and two plastic tubs of petroleum jelly since that's what it'll take to get her out of those tight ass jeans. Xtina doesn't wear panties, so I don't even want to think about the chaffing that's occurring with every step.
After whoring out The Voice with Adam Levine and Blake Shelton on Extra at The Grove last night, Xtina's full-time escort (insert his name here, don't make me Google it) escorted her to dinner. Xtina once again wore an outfit that a WWF wrestler wore first and better in the 80s, but I do love what she's done to her weave. I'm only saying that, because the side of her hair looks like a pan dulce. You are doing it right when your hair looks like something found in the bakery section of Supermercado Gigante.

Delicioso! And you know when she got drunk at the end the night, she tried to eat the side of her head and looked like a puppy chasing its own tail.


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One question. What IS that thing on the side of her head that looks like a cupcake?
How drunk is she that she constantly has to be holding on to someone? jesus! from far away she looks okay but there are some real zoomed in shots of her in this outfit and omg! no bueno! she looks awful. Like some bad plastic surgery on the face awful. So puffy.
OMGMK,
Back in the '80s, before the fear of getting decapitatd by drug cartels, my fam used to cross over to Tijuana to go shopping at the Gigante! We used to bring back BIG ASS cans of jalapenos and sliced mangos; it was like a Mexican Costco. Thank you for taking me back!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Submitted by Ruby Jackson on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 7:12pm.
What the heck kind of drugs was Celo on last night?
My money is on Jheri curl fumes.
I still love you Xtina!
This dumbass escort is really loving the spotlight on him, isn't he? He's always shamelessly smiling to the paps and thus disregarding the gold-digging commitment guidelines described in The Book of Boytoys, chapter 2. He's only supposed to smile to the cameras after the sugar momma gives her money to buy her a ring.
The styling may be seizure-inducing but these pictures show that Christina is NOT fat and has great curves. She fills those jeans out perfectly and, as everyone says, with some serious style assistance, she could look great.
Pan Dulce ......bahahahahahahahhahahahahaaaa
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't think Christina is fat. She just used to be so skinny and petite that people aren't used to this round, bootylicious version of her. But on The Voice, I still think she's really pretty.
Those clothes, though, and that makeup....egads. If you can believe, I think she's actually toned it down a bit.
Lol tigerlily,
But what about hormones? I got an ass like 2 years ago and I think it's just becoming a grownup. but I've also done lotsa yoga. And she is wearing heels too. Okay I think I need to go think about something else now.
She has an epically awwwffuullll sense of style. She's so caught up in her voice she thinks her lyrics, her look, and her wits are all just as sharp. Not so, Xtina.
She's a bore.
First, I'm going to say something nice and true--she has an amazing voice.
However, her hair is just TRAGIC. And seriously, she has had extensions in her hair for YEARS. She probably only has like three real strands of hair because her hair wasn't thick to begin with. It's probably a mess up in there! Yikes.
Meh, I call padding. Xtina had a skinny white girl ass and proportions don't change. Yeah, you gain weight, but you don't all the sudden grow some ass where there was none. The ass gets bigger in proportion to everything else, so a white girl ass on a chunker is still a white girl ass relatively speaking. And no one get they panties in a wad. I'm a white girl with a white girl ass...Well, I mean, it may be a little caramel but that's it. It ain't no ka-donk of wonder. Nope.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by CashewTime on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 7:20pm.
Besides Xtina's Ecuadorian pride statement I don't think she's owned the chub at all. Every big girl should know how to dress HER body and look good. Aguilera just seems ridiculous. Adele never wears these kind of bullshit costumes and always owns her look.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
I don't understand why MK puts up pictures that are just asking for fatshamers to come out and make fun of a woman (yes I know I'm probably attracting ms migraine to the thread, but I don't care). If ppl want to make fun of her fashion or drunkenness, fine, but why try to make a girl who's size 10 or so look fatter by making this the main pic? I know this is no rosey blog, but he's half Mexican and I don't get it. I'm sorry if saying this is going to attract trolls, but that's how I feel.
As for Xtina, I like her owning the chub *shrug*
I remember watching some behind the scenes thing about her from a million years ago, when she was a teenager and newly famous, and she had to drink high calorie protein shakes throughout rehearsals all day because she was already a size 0 and losing weight from all the dancing on her tour.
I believe some of her new weight is genetic - lots of the Latina girls I went to high school with were super skinny young, then filled out after having a baby and settling down. I don't mind that Christina's put on weight, it's just too bad she's such a drunk, garish mess about it. If she kept it classy and made good music, she could still have a long career ahead of her. The way things look now? Today The Voice, tomorrow cameos as herself on shortlived sitcoms, next week, obscurity. Wasteful.
What the heck kind of drugs was Celo on last night?
Submitted by Midwestocean on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:37pm.
I LOVE those jeans. Yes, her overall outfit is "I'm trying to come off as a voting themed free spirit but instead I am coming off as insipid attention wanting bozo" but on the right person (myself) those jeans could totally be rocked!
*I had to go back and check after your comment and what's funny is before you said anything those jeans reminded me of county seat LOL but I can see how they wouldn't look trailer fresh on everyone. Just thought I'd share.
1)She's asking an awful lot of that material
2)Get some actual hair-colored extensions, the half-colored head has been over.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
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Submitted by dbella: "All that money and she looks like a steaming pile of dog doo."
Right? If I had that money, I'd look fantastic all the time. Not like Cyndi Lauper threw up on a carny.
LOL @ the photo of the danish on her stupid head.
This bitch is a hot mess.
All that money and she looks like a steaming pile of dog doo
Girl, for buttfucksake enough with the fatsotry already.
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Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna
Her body looks fine to me. That weave, tho - MANG. Was she going for the "exposed brain" look? Hollopeen is over!
Submitted by Event Horizon on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:09pm.
@bigbendy
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Event, yeah it was rather awkward watching him last night on The Voice last night. Did you see it?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 5:10pm.
Submitted by Bigbendy on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 4:59pm.
I don't see no Cee Lo. Are they keeping him on the down low?
I don't think there's a crawlspace big enough to hide that one.
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Luce, you have to quit doing that to me. I almost released my bladder on that one, chicky girl. Haha
ya know, the more she flaunts her more pudgy (aka REAL) figure, the more I'm liking her!
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She grosses me out. I hate the way she styles and carries herself. This is coming from someone who used to be a fan of hers. Also, I think DAT ASS is fake.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 4:47pm.
I was figuring it was some type of donut.
Japanese pastries are very pretty to look at but they don't have near enough sugar or butter!!!
Give me a piece of good peach pie, warm ala mode:)
I LOVE those jeans. Yes, her overall outfit is "I'm trying to come off as a voting themed free spirit but instead I am coming off as insipid attention wanting bozo" but on the right person (myself) those jeans could totally be rocked!
Dat sloppy ass. There's embracing the chunk, and there's embracing the treadmill at least a couple of times a week if you're going to embrace the calories.
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.
Remember when she had the bob haircut? She looked beautiful and elegant. She ought to return to this look, particularly lafter chunking up.
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DAT ASS!
I'll always hate her music, but now I'm hypnotized by her ass. I could honestly be the Manchurian Candidate of her ass.
I am glad she is embracing the chubby, but she needs a stylist asap! A good one.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I don't think she looks that bad.
*hides*
I always preferred her over Britney, at least Xtina can really sing. She needs to take off a couple layers of makeup though.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
Submitted by Bigbendy on Tue, 11/06/2012 - 4:59pm.
I don't see no Cee Lo. Are they keeping him on the down low?
I don't think there's a crawlspace big enough to hide that one.
@bigbendy
I think theyre probs keeping him outta the spotlight due to the rape acusations and all....
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when she was super skinny, she looked really good.
Yeah, I said it. Kick me.
I like conchas with cafe. Love the friendship with Blake. Don't know how well Shakira and Usher will do in the chemistry department with the other judges
I don't know one Ecuadorian who dresses like Jem and the Slutty Holograms. So maybe she's not as aye chi mama as she thinks.
Where Cee Lo? I don't see no Cee Lo. Are they keeping him on the down low?
Awwww... lookie dat! He got a WALLET in his back pocket...... him is SOOOO gonna pay dat check!
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I don't understand alts and I am NOT interesting enough to have one. Damn.
That's a big ole booty! I remember when she used to be one of the smallest people in Hallowwood, I would have never dreamed she'd get this big..
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"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Is she going for kim kardashian look in the ass? Cause...wtf is going on? Is that real!?
Oh she's just getting in the spirit. She put her Eatin I mean Votin jeans on.
*saluting*