Tuesday, October 30th 2012

Would You Hit It?

As his ice block of a wife shot scenes as Grace Kelly with Milo Ventimiglia for Grace of Monaco, Keith Urban wrapped his huevos in Spandex to go swimming in the pool of his hotel. It's nice knowing that when the hot pavement burns the bottom of Keith's feet, he makes the same pained look he makes when he breaks his boner after making the mistake of gently slapping his peen against Nicole's concrete forehead.

Personally, I prefer vintage Keith Urban when he looked like a Til Tuesday era Aimee Mann as hipster Colonel Sanders, but I'd still hit Keith Urban of today. The meatball with tentacles tattoo really did it for me.

And it was really smart of Nicole Kidman to make the hotel put statues of her all around the pool area, so Keith never forgets her while she's working. The resemblance is uncanny and I'm sure Keith also made the mistake of gently slapping his peen against that statue's forehead.

Posted by: Michael K


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He looks good because you can't see his golden sun-kissed highlights. That plus speedo.

Vintage Keith Urban...lol.
That's some funny shit.

Winnyfranfran's picture

Gross.

Kandykane's picture

Is Nicole Kidman STILL getting movie roles to stink up?? Damn but there's some dumb bitches in Hollywood fo sho.

***

"You wait. They gonna get everybody on twitter, facebook, doing everythin' online and then they gonna pull the PLUG and we all gonna be FUCKED!"

Naughychimp's picture

Aren't there more than a few Blind Vices hinting that he's gay? He seems harmless enough but if he does indeed prefer men, I wish he'd just scoot outta the closet and enjoy being who he is.

soulks's picture

oh no that was KEITH? nevermind =\ :)

\O_+/
"Time goes by so fast. Nothin' can outrun it."

Wow Keith has a great body! Very nice indeed.

Scott in NYC's picture

I appreciate a man in a Speedo just as much as the next person....but Keith Urban is just soooo not sexy. Good thing he's married to an icicle and they already had their fake baby.

Tigerlilly's picture

Oh dear god! No wonder Nicole's face is frozen...frozen in HORROR. Oh, Nicole...you poor, poor thing.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

lastdiva's picture

Isn't Milo Mintyfresh a lady-hitter?

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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

saltydog's picture

wow, he looks a lot better without that stupid hair in his face. He should just cut it all off

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 5:28pm.
Keith Urban got a tattoo of The Funk from The Mighty Boosh Legend of Old Greg episode tattooed on his chest
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LOL! A funky ball of tits from outer space!

Of Course! i'm a shameless slut

Karma is a Bitch

hamblettamaud's picture

I'd hit the body in a good way and the face in a bad way.

(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)

LunaChick's picture

Yes, I would. I have no shame.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

His body is better than I would've thought but I can't stand this guy. I hate his music and just don't think this guy is hot.

No can wood.

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Daniee's picture

I know Kidman seems chilled, but I would bet money on the fact these two have wicked sex!
Keith is not my type, but I have to admit that he keeps his body looking real good!

SANS FARDS's picture

Sure I would....with a paper bag over his head.

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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.

"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."

Butterface. Dude now has jowls.

Bwhit19964's picture

Milo is aging about as well as tuna fish salad on the sidewalk in Las Vegas.

OooooNooo's picture

I thought they were supposed to shrink when wet?. . . oh my!

johnnysgirl's picture

Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 10/30/2012 - 5:07pm.

Nice body for his age, but I also see Travolta in the face. Thus, Kesha.

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BAHAHA!

It's clear from the tattoo that Mr. Urban has been touched by His Noodley Appendage:

https://www.google.com/search?q=Flying+spaghetti+monster&hl=en&client=fi...

boredasfuckyo's picture

Keith Urban got a tattoo of The Funk from The Mighty Boosh Legend of Old Greg episode tattooed on his chest.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vziriyVgk24

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"

Oh dear. Keith was so lovely on the Australian version of the voice (kind and insightful) but I can't forgive him for the "budgie smugglers". And to take an unpopular opposing view, I actually think Nicole looks gorgeous. Then again, I've softened towards her since she gave a very honest interview to an Aus mag recently: she discussed her miscarriages and marriage to TC and how devastated and lonely she was after the divorce. I can relate to that! And she only had nice things to say about Tom himself, wished him well etc. I'm no Cruise fan, but I found that quite endearing. I'm kind of tired of people who slate their exes to the press.

By the way, Milo I believe is playing Grace's gay BFF and publicist, whose name escapes me right now.

IrishFury's picture

Nice body for his age, but I also see Travolta in the face. Thus, Kesha.

He looks like he may shave his body hair which is gross in a guy. I like my men to trim the sex parts but keep the body natural, if they have fur.
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Dark-sided!

Gem's picture

No, Mr. Kidman gives me the willies. Re the Kitchenaid mixer: I don't think the K-mixer makes my life any easier or does a better job than a regular electric hand-held mixer. The only good thing is you can walk away from it while it's mixing, but really, how long does it take to mix something? 3 minutes, max? It's not enough of a life-changer for me to want to spend $250 minimum. We got ours as a wedding gift, because my husband (!) wanted it. Go figure - he has never baked in his life.

soulks's picture

hit? smack, pat, rub, blow, and kiss. ;>
(O_@)
Art: Now they know that we know that they know that we know.

chaka1's picture

His face is busted, but the body is on point...

daisydaisy's picture

No way!! Too girly, weird, and just ick!! On the same note, how in the world him and Nicole Kidman are a couple? She seems frigid, asexual, and just weird with all that botox, face freezing procedures, and stuff. He seems gay, immature,and too many makeovers later is not atractive at all.

Violet's picture

Is he wearing his blue contacts in the pool?

Hellraiser's picture

No.

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What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

That's a tragically over-pruned Chamaerops behind him.

--I agree! (No clue what you're saying but it sounds fancy *runs to google*)

Bossy's picture

I never thought about what Keith Urban looked like in a swimsuit but I guess if I had thought about it this is not what I would have imagined. That's a healthy, in shape body. I guess after seeing the face and the hair I was never inclined to go any further.

I had no idea he had such a hot body. Great legs!!

mike's picture

That's a tragically over-pruned Chamaerops behind him.

Immodest Goddess's picture

Anyone else thinks she looks like Naomi Watts here?

Anyone?

Few Words's picture

thats an ugly dollar store tat hes got. damn the stoopid shit people do when drunk off their asses.

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Captain Howdy's picture

That's not Garry Shandling?

Pimpcessa's picture

Ummmm, yes.....WELL!

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I'm your huckleberry...

maadbeacon's picture

It will do.

jack-n-the-hat's picture

IN. OH.

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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012

"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers

Aphid's picture

I might hit it if I were drunk. Sorry but those tattoos SUCK.

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That's a very expensive chardonnay you're not drinking...

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

He has Prince William face here. Yuck.

Craigypants's picture

Oh Keith.
Terrible.
He is going to look like an old pedo in 5 years.
If not already.

Lisbet459's picture

That picture of him bending over to put something on/take something off is pretty sexy. Maybe it's because I can't see his face, I dunno.

Furry-Hunk-Of-Man-Beef's picture

Not surprised he is on the small peen side...can't have anything large tearing up all of Nicole's plastic vaj surgery work!

(Yes, I would hit it...several times)