Thursday, September 6th 2012

The Coked Up Beard That Got Away... (UPDATE)

In Vanity Fair's expose on Scientology and Tommy Girl's beard catching adventures, Maureen Orth wrote this about Lindsay Lohan:

“Lindsay met with Tom before he met Katie. At first, she was super excited to work with Tom and thought it was about a role in Mission Impossible. It soon became clear that he wasn’t looking for an actress but something very different.”

Last night, LiLo ran out of rolling papers and there wasn't a Bible in her room at the Motel 6, so she used the pages from Vanity Fair's new issue to roll a joint and that's when she saw her name. LiLo immediately got on Twitter to tell Tommy Girl and Scientology that she had nothing to do with VF's story. And when LiLo denies she's involved in something, that means she's totally involved. So we all have LiLo, Adderall and the empty bottles of Jack around her to thank for trying to bring down Xenu.

But really, imagine Tommy and LiLo together? Every Bridge Queen (or whatever they call themselves) at Scientology would have to go against their insane beliefs and turn to anti-depressants and crack to deal with her crazy ass. LiLo's constant whining would've made Tommy punch himself in the head so much that he would've socked the crazy right out of his brains. What a world it would've been.

UPDATE: RumorFix lied to me! Lindsay Lohan's name isn't even in Vanity Fair's story. That quote came from a story HuffPo did on Vanity Fair's story. I would've read the entire story, but I used the pages to roll a joint.

And Blohan should turn all her delusions into a comedy act, because this shit is gold.

via Rumor Fix 

Posted by: Michael K


Before we get into the ADDTabz Review, mulberry outlet we need to address a major point in the discussion.

The obvious area to start is that there is an Adderall shortage going on.

How can we possibly, in this day and age, have any sort of drug shortage? Its simple Abuse.

Soccer Moms, College students, Business professionals, they are ALL looking for an edge, a way to cheap nfl jerseys increase their focus, boost energy and perform at higher levels. Who can blame them?

Add this to the 13% increase in prescriptions for Adderall from last year and you have your shortage. And theres more! First check out this video to get a little more detail.

You see, its not just more kids and adults not being able to focus. Its the pressure that our modern day society puts on us to reach higher levels of performance than ever before.

People that have taken Adderall without a prescription have been noted to say that:

Now put this into the fact that Adderall is a controlled substance and christian louboutin shoes the DEA only allows a certain amount of the active ingredient to be used. What do you have? The perfect recipe for an Adderall shortage.
The ADDTabz Review
ADDTabz is fast becoming cheap uggs known as an Adderall Alternative.

Gentech Pharmaceutical has designed this advanced non-prescription formulation from the beginning as an upgrade from Adderall for patients that havent been diagnosed with full on ADHD /ADD (attention C deficit C hyperactivity C disorder), but are still looking for the benefits of concentration, energy and extreme focus.

In short, the FDA recognized active ingredients in ADDTabz have made the product the worlds leading formulation scientifically designed to enhance cognitive ability and mental performance.

The non-prescription formulation of ADDTabz may be the solution you have been looking for and the product has been shown to help:

Trouble following directionsForgetfulnessInattentionOrganizational ProblemsDifficulty listeningDifficulty concentrating

With ADDTabz there is now an alternative to the nasty side effects that Adderall may have with some individuals.

Plus, ADDTabz louis vuitton outlet customers christian louboutin outlet do not have to worry about the criminal penalties associated with the consumption of taking Adderall without a prescription.

If you need that extra edge, the push to keep you going and maintain your focus and concentration we recommend that you give ADDTabz a try gucci outlet today.

Check out some christain louboutin sale of the multiple bottle discounts below and decide which one is best for you.

Vern's picture

I would have loved to see WO as gradma to Suri.

*reports self for child abuse*

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Get Serious's picture

So, blowhan wasn't even mentioned in the story, yet she went out of her way to issue a denial? It's really all about her, isn't it? Does this bitch have any true friends that can sit her down & bitchslap her, to prevent her from being a dumbass? I'm guessing not; Ol' Crackopatra will be blowing random dudes in dark alleyways for rent money soon...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

tojo's picture

UPDATE: RumorFix lied to me!

===============
Meh, they also said that Lez and Lick was a good movie... obviously they can't be trusted...

============================================
...the end

Ophelias evil twin's picture

She's just happy to be connected to a story with an A Lister even it is a lie. So pathetic. Psst.. hey Hohan -- we don't care even it was the troof.

Doll-Parts's picture

" Lindsay Lohan might be the only person alive whose life would actually improve if she converted to Scientology."

Co$ign!

"This world is a whore."

This bitch.

Although, I would PAY MONEY to see her as Tom's better half...Lilo would single handedly shut Scientology down with her cracked out antics. Aliens, sure-Lilo, not so much. You think Tom was jumping on couches last time-lolz!

-------------------------------------------

Love the Moms in your life. It would suck with out them.

WithinReason...'s picture

OK MK, now I'm confused, is the tweet a fake or just the lying rumorfix? Maybe she was involved but the CO$ are afraid Liho would bring too much attention to them, double lies! These are DOUBLE LIES! Hahaha

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░

Mani6's picture

Lindsay would have been no match for Cruise control Tom. Lilo-bot would have turned out much different.

............................................

loopygorilla's picture

its lucky for CO$ that hohan didnt join, cuz she would have snorted their whole empire up her nose.

hohan would have turned the seaorg ship into a dance party ship, she would have broken the auditing meters with too many scandals, she would have driven around and yelled "move that cone, im tom cruise's wife".

and her daughter with tom cruise would have been ali lohan, but they changed her name to Lilo Cruise.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

dementa: Assuming they didn't kill her for failing their "programs" and causing bad press...

*sigh*

We can but hope.

loopygorilla's picture

Submitted by Jeanneee on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:10pm.

Lindsay Lohan might be the only person alive whose life would actually improve if she converted to Scientology.

----------------

lmao, that might sound farfetched for anybody else but for lindsay you are right.

SANS FARDS's picture

Bitch, shut up.

Please.

_______________________________________________

SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!

Submitted by Jeanneee on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 9:10pm.

Assuming they didn't kill her for failing their "programs" and causing bad press...

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Jeanneee's picture

Lindsay Lohan might be the only person alive whose life would actually improve if she converted to Scientology.

-------------------------
*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

Twat Muffin's picture

SandwichQueen -- YAY! See, you're making more & more progress. Hopefully, this will work out. And it's nice that people are helping you out. I just can't wait for the day you get away from her (side-eyes your mom). You'll probably be cutting off money for her alcohol but who cares, let her find it elsewhere. Like I said, the best thing that could happen is for you to get away from her. Keep us posted.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 7:48pm.

That's creepy! I think if it were on a generic website like Craigslist or Kijiji I'd be more weary; this ad was posted through my school's website so the poster has to be approved beforehand. I hope I am not being naive though....I am phoning her tomorrow morning in any case. I want to arrange to see the place first, so I'll proceed cautiously!

Dog's picture

Read between the lines of her tweet. Even BloHan, who has been donkey punched by the best, knows Cruise is batspit insane and doesn't want to offend him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 7:39pm.
Twat Muffin, I have a bit of hope yet. I was in touch with a retired teacher (a female), who is looking to rent a room out in her house. She emailed me her phone number and we are going to talk in greater detail tomorrow. She has a kitty too! Some of my friends on Facebook are going to help run a chip-in event like a fundraiser to help me with costs, since my mother controls my pay cheques more than I'd like to admit. Living somewhere else with my kitties would be great, and living with a nice teacher lady and HER kitty too would be even better! Less lonely.
-----------------------------------------

Good luck, but be careful. I live in an intentional community house and whenever a room is open we get responses from a retired teacher with a cat. Seriously, like it is almost word for word the same e-mail but with different names each time.

Thank you for that Lilo you dumb cunt. Thank you, no really, Im soooooooo gonna sleep better tonite.

mefunigirl's picture

Crossing my fingers for you SandwichQueen

I would have loved for this hookup to have happened.
She'd have "disappeared" by now.
although, she surely would have figured out a way to twitter it all from the great beyond/bunker 2 miles down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz

Twat Muffin, I have a bit of hope yet. I was in touch with a retired teacher (a female), who is looking to rent a room out in her house. She emailed me her phone number and we are going to talk in greater detail tomorrow. She has a kitty too! Some of my friends on Facebook are going to help run a chip-in event like a fundraiser to help me with costs, since my mother controls my pay cheques more than I'd like to admit. Living somewhere else with my kitties would be great, and living with a nice teacher lady and HER kitty too would be even better! Less lonely.

Lucifer_Sam's picture

Crackhead, please.

Detective_LaToya's picture

Interesting that she only denies that she and her people did not have anything to do with the VF article but doesn't deny that the situation they wrote about actually happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K

Twat Muffin's picture

SandwichQueen -- okay, but at least you're looking and working your way to getting out of there and away from that toxic woman. I know it will all work out. I just feel like taking you under my wing, you & your kittehs, and making everything better. Like I said about my mom & her rages, I understand the sitch. Again, many hugs to you; keep me posted, hon.

babybunny's picture

this is Hohan's mentality...somebody mentioned something about somebody liking to be high and cracked out, I MUST COMMENT...I MUST DEFEND MY ALREADY FUCKED UP REPUTATION BY FUCKING IT UP SOME MORE...she LeAnn Whines and Ocho need to ban themselves from Twatter for life...

babybunny's picture

Lilo would make the Miscarriage guy run away too! She could have taken down $ciento with her crazy so in a way it would have been great..she is the poster child for idiotic behavior but seems like they are falling apart just fine..she just would have sped up the process...

Thamar's picture

Warms the heart MK when you chop SCIENTOLOGY liver with the sword of your admirable wit. You are my hero. This one LOL!

Get Serious's picture

I remember, back then, how blowhan acually looked like a cute young girl. Nowadays, I'd run away screaming if I saw her walking towards me...

--------------------------------------------
"Dammit, Pam, I've seen that, and now I can't unsee it. There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

I also think Lindsay is about the only celebrity that would actually benefit from Scientology, she should join at least if they brainwash her she will be better off than she is now after the number her parents did on her.

I remember at the time that she was considered for Tommy Girl. This was back in 2005 when Lindsay was successful, she made $7.5 million for Just My Luck alone. I remember reading that Lindsay was deemed too immature and that offers were made to Scarlet and Jessica Alba who turned it down.

I kinda think that tweet is just her way of putting it out there that she's available.

kate773's picture

BTW- Neither I, nor anyone I know had anything to do with the VF story either. Just thought wanted to make sure you all knew that.

RandéSleepover's picture

Since Lindsay is something very different from an actress, she'd have been perfect.

kate773's picture

That's hilarious. Who the hell even said she had anything to do with the VF story? Big fat no one.

Just an attention whore trying to insert herself into a story she has nothing to do with.

Lindsay and Nick Nolte, yes. Lindsay and Tom Cruise--- not a chance. He is mr. Super über clean cut man. This dude probably doesn't even take Tylenol. Lindsay would spontaneously combust with the DTs after 24 hours with him.

Good luck with the search for a new home, Sandwich Queen.
I hope you find something very soon.

veryoldbat's picture

Cheers Sandwitch Queen.. Wishing you good things..

My issues now have issues.. So take a number.

parkerj's picture

LMAO... Like anyone believes the Church of Scientology would have asked crackie to audition.

-----------------
"Bye, Whore" -MK

So Lilo is the one who totally lied and put herself in that story as IF she is in Tom and Nicole and Katie's league!! Ha! I love it! He needs to sue her ass for having the balls to even so much as whisper her name in the same sentence as his. Crazy as he may be he ain't LILO crazy!

louise_brooks's picture

Yes, I'm sure Tom was super worried. Idiot.

Aerialgreen's picture

Submitted by jaariel on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 5:04pm.

But where are all the other "auditioners" tweet-comments? Don't Jen & Scarlett know that if your name is even mentioned anywhere in the universe, you must immediately take to your twitter to say,

"YES! YOU SAID MY NAME! I HEARD MY NAME WAS UTTERED SO I HAVE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE MENTIONED ME!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^^THIS!!, I'm pretty sure Blohan has an app to trace her name online 24/7

IrishFury's picture

TC is a nut but he is AList for life. No way would he even consider Lohan - in her crackie dreams!

________________________________
Dark-sided!

Submitted by SandwichQueen on Thu, 09/06/2012 - 5:11pm.

You're the only reason I stopped by today; I was worried. Good for you! :)

I found your message, Ms. Twat! (that sounds strange....)
I looked at an apartment today, it was nice, but the super said he can't hold it until Nov. 1 when I would ideally move in. I need a bit of time to save up and everything, but he wanted me to move in this month. So the search continues!

But where are all the other "auditioners" tweet-comments? Don't Jen & Scarlett know that if your name is even mentioned anywhere in the universe, you must immediately take to your twitter to say,

"YES! YOU SAID MY NAME! I HEARD MY NAME WAS UTTERED SO I HAVE TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE KNOWS SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE MENTIONED ME!"

Don't the other girls understand how to be a star? I guess they're not really interested in an Oscar, either...it's a shame they're not doing it right: i.e. The Lowhan Way

Imagine the visual of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on Oprah's couch over Blohan. It would be because she gave him some "special vitamins" earlier on, of course.

I'll bet her mom was responsible for that little lie sneaking its way into the article. She seems to think that everyone wants a piece of that freckled mangy crack pie.

Twat Muffin's picture

Gigaboob -- I don't believe a word of this shizz. No way in hell!

SandwichQueen -- check out my little call out to you in yesterday's Mama June thread; I posted it this morning.

parissucksliterally's picture

In 2005, she was 19. Tommy would have looked like an even bigger moron marrying a 19 year old. Katie being 24 was bad enough.

***********************************************
Nothing, nothing is manageable
So can't we skip the valedictories
I can see the door there
Shut it and forget my number