Rosie O'Donnell Got Married
All the way back in June, when the ginger unicorns were still secreting drops of red hot happiness from their nipples over the gayelle wedding of the century, Rosie O'Donnell and her fianceé Michelle Rounds quietly got married in NYC. Rosie O and Michelle were supposed to tie the klit (I really meant to type "knot," but klit came out and so I'm keeping it) this month, but they decided to speed shit up when Michelle was diagnosed with desmoid tumors and had to get surgery. On June 9th, 5 days before Michelle went under, Rosie O'Donnell became a wife for the very first second time.
In related news, Jennifer Love Hewitt just ran to the nearest Baskin Robbins, jumped over the counter and shoved her head into a huge tub of Snickers ice cream. After that, JLove will vajazzle the letters FML on her crotch, because Rosie can get a wife, but bitch can't get a husband.
Of course, Rosie announced the news by writing a messed up haiku-ish poem on her site:
my wife michelle
was diagnosed with desmoid tumors in june
a mysterious rare – too often fatal disease
that affects 3 in a million peoplewe were to wed 10 days ago
but her illness forced us to postpone the wedding
luckily -
as i was in ICU that day
when it rains …
things grow
like love and flowers
humans tooso on we go
we married in private
before her surgery
just the 2 of uswhen we r both well enough
will have the wedding of r dreams
surrounded by those we cherish
thankful for the love and support
so many have given us
during these trying times
If Rosie recited one of her "poems" during the ceremony, then either Michelle really is in love with her, she's a truly dedicated gold digger or she's willing to overlook that shit, because Rosie eats punane like it's made of cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster.
Congratulations to Rosie and Michelle! First, Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon, and now Rosie O'Donnell and Michelle Rounds? Two power lesbian weddings in one year and it's only August, so there's room for many more. And yes, that's me elbowing Oprah and Gayle.
• 
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You would think with all that money, Rosie would get some decent looking gfs/wives. They've all been trailer park plain!
One pet peeve of mine is when people type "r" for "our." GAHHHH
And I hate this hog so I don't give a rat's ass about her life.
Could care less but hey if two people are truly in love and have a happy life, good for them. Better than hearing Elizabeth Hasslefuck's crow all day/night. Fuck me.
I like my men like I like my syrup---thick and rich!
I would take Rosie as family in a heart beat. I'm on Dlisted tonight trying to keep from crying. I wish all of you smart ass peers were closer. :'(
Jeezus...Rosie goes through women like water. Money is really an amazing thing. I don't care what anyone says. She would NEVER have one gf, let alone 20, per summer if she weren't rich.
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Congrats to Rosie and Michelle. I thought she'd been married Kelli.
"supposed to tie the klit " - lmao MK!
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
I hate Rosie's hands. They look like catcher's mitts. Coincidentally, so does her face, so at least they match.
She needs to stop with the idiotic style of posting she adopted. She just sounds like a retarded 12 year old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
rosie looks just like tom arnold in drag
I say fair fucking do's to the both of them
***************
Certified Slore
Submitted by dementa on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 4:04pm.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:45pm.
Tell it to the whiners at imdb. If you don't gush over Rosie and her latest wife, you're an evil bitter homophobe.
_______________________________________
I'm not surprised, people like that always try to fight for equality, while ruining their point by acting in the manner that is contrary and irrational. As if being gay or straight has to do with someone being a complete and total asshole like Rosie. She's a cunt because she's a cunt, not because she likes cunt.
__________________________________________
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 4:35pm.
I would feign lesbianism for the sake of dinero too.
____________________________________________
I couldn't. Even if I were a lesbian. I'd have better standards than Rosie. I could not force myself to lick on that nasty fat deflated lobster claw she calls a vagina for any amount of money.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:45pm.
I don't really feel sorry for Rosie's partner's condition, simply for the fact that homegirl is only with that manbearpig for the money.
---
I would feign lesbianism for the sake of dinero too. I almost forgot about that weird hanging upside down Rosie did for her depression. And here I am stuffing myself silly with all these happy pills like a chump! All I really need to do is chillax with Cirque du Soleil for a while!
Ugh.
Mazel tov Rosie and Michelle!
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:45pm.
Tell it to the whiners at imdb. If you don't gush over Rosie and her latest wife, you're an evil bitter homophobe.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:42pm.
Whamo, I was fine until menz here started describing the sects with Rosie. I seriously have the heaves!
==============================================
Yes red chaffed thighs and dimpled pimpled asses turn me off too!
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:50pm.
lol!!
Submitted by bambam on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:48pm.
damn! that nastyyyyy
grosss gross, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
omg nooooo grossssss
thats as bad as scratching some guy's back during sessy time and popping one of his backacne.
Oh, you guys are mean with your golddiggin' assumptions. Who wouldn't want to marry an obese, 50-year-old lesbian with at least 25 conflicting personalities?
see ya jack
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:46pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:40pm.
Well, does Rosie have that contraption so she hangs upside down because she said it helps with her mental illness or something?
I hate both of you for that visual!
--------------------
rosie has everything, alls you gotta do is call her baby.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:29pm.
is rosie an alco? why is her nose so red like rudolph the red nose reindeer.
she must hit the turps hard.
and can she at least moisturise. FOR FUCK SAKE, you're a lesbian but that doesnt mean you dont know what a moisturiser is.
--------------------------------------
*let's loose blood curdling scream*
DO YOU KNOW? I had a short fling with a granola girl OH MY GAWD who didn't know what lotion was for. We had a session AGGGGHHHHH she was on her knees I was behind her EEEEEAAAHHHHHGGG gettin' ready to get my nose up in there RRRBBBBRRRRRRGH kissing and lickin' her backside when I ran my tongue over a dry, crusty blackhead AIIIEEEEEEE!!!
MAN, YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE ANTI VIAGRA??? I don't think I've ever been that close and stopped doing it before. Or after. Boner killer. *shudders*
ETA: She had a habit of biting my tongue during long, lazy and passionate make outs. Biting it hard. We didn't last long AT ALL.
***************
You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
JFC sorry for making people sick with my comments... I'm out.
LOL loopy... see ya, buddy.
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:43pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:41pm.
LOL, you idiot!! jacko does not bring food in to the BOO-DWAR.
===================
u wouldnt need to with rosie, she probably has few cream rolls tucked under her fova.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:42pm.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:40pm.
Well, does Rosie have that contraption so she hangs upside down because she said it helps with her mental illness or something?
I hate both of you for that visual!
okayy i will stop describing rosie during sessy times.
i promise *crosses finger*
I don't really feel sorry for Rosie's partner's condition, simply for the fact that homegirl is only with that manbearpig for the money. Lesbians and the gays can be gold diggers too, and I can't imagine anyone with taste going after that hateful hog without money playing a part.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:41pm.
LOL, you idiot!! jacko does not bring food in to the BOO-DWAR.
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Me too, Irish. I don't even want to visualize Rosie having sex but now I've been forced to. *leaves thread*
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:40pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla:
"i just hope michelle has stop strong shoulders, cuz girlfriend will need shoulders made of steel if she is gonna support rosie's legs on her shoulder whilst eating rosie's seafood buffet."
================
Not if Rosie sits on her face. Which, yes, would bring a whole new range of logistical problems.
I hate you for making me think of this.
=============================
well then michelle will need snorkels, so if you see will a straw like tube sticking out of rosie flower, thats michelle breathing through that tube.
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:03pm.
BABY WEREWOLF! *sprays iced tea*
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:04pm.
Shiite. Wrong post.
Congrats Rosie and Michelle!
=================
Oh, I dunno, Bacon. That first comment seemed oddly appropriate.
Whamo, I was fine until menz here started describing the sects with Rosie. I seriously have the heaves!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:38pm.
well that means rosie is your fat friend and you have one of those food association eating disorders. but at least you wont need strong shoulders like michelle, whose's shoulders are like roman pillars holding onto rosie's structure whilst the cave door is open.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:33pm.
i just hope michelle has stop strong shoulders, cuz girlfriend will need shoulders made of steel if she is gonna support rosie's legs on her shoulder whilst eating rosie's seafood buffet.
***************************
Oh god, this is SOFA KING vom! Stop!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by loopygorilla:
"i just hope michelle has stop strong shoulders, cuz girlfriend will need shoulders made of steel if she is gonna support rosie's legs on her shoulder whilst eating rosie's seafood buffet."
================
Not if Rosie sits on her face. Which, yes, would bring a whole new range of logistical problems.
I hate you for making me think of this.
REAL FUCKING GOOD, LOOPY!!!
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:36pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:28pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:22pm.
=============================================
lol, Hello sweetie, hope you're havin a good day:)
Awwwww, Hekkster, I'm sorry... :(
*strokes your hair while singing "Soft Kitty"*
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:37pm.
nooooooooo Hekki come back!! :)
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:34pm.
Not always, but yea... oh shit, what does that mean?!
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by loopygorilla: "i just hope michelle has stop strong shoulders, cuz girlfriend will need shoulders made of steel if she is gonna support rosie's legs on her shoulder whilst eating rosie's seafood buffet."
Between you and jack, I swear I'm gonna throw up. I have to leave. Seriously nauseated.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:28pm.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:22pm.
This baring of the teeth is no a smile!
==========================================
That's funny that's what I do when my CGF doesn't acknowledge my existence but that's ok It's not like I'm BITTER!
*******************************
LMAO!
Hello my delicious caramel Canadian !
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:31pm.
do you always think of food when you see rosie?? lol
i just hope michelle has stop strong shoulders, cuz girlfriend will need shoulders made of steel if she is gonna support rosie's legs on her shoulder whilst eating rosie's seafood buffet.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:29pm.
and can she at least moisturise
------------------
Mmmmmmm her fingers like fresh vienna sausage straight out of the can with that clear jelly lookin shit... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
__________________
OMG, that is fucking gross, Jack! *vomits*
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:29pm.
and can she at least moisturise
------------------
Mmmmmmm her fingers like fresh vienna sausage straight out of the can with that clear jelly lookin shit... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:14pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 2:51pm.
Hahaha
*dead* @ "cabbage farts"
==============================================
The image of Kim's fat ass popped into my head reading this.
is rosie an alco? why is her nose so red like rudolph the red nose reindeer.
she must hit the turps hard.
and can she at least moisturise. FOR FUCK SAKE, you're a lesbian but that doesnt mean you dont know what a moisturiser is.
twinkies
omg twinkies
let's get some
twinkies
omg
_____________________________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 08/27/2012 - 3:22pm.
This baring of the teeth is no a smile!
==========================================
That's funny that's what I do when my CGF doesn't acknowledge my existence but that's ok It's not like I'm BITTER!