It's Chestica!

Submitted by Virgin Queen on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 7:10pm.
Bored, you can just substitute dried cranberries for raisins in any oatmeal cookie recipe.

Even more delicious-- soak the raisins or cranberries in orange juice to "plump" them and add grated orange zest to the dough.

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OOOOH!!!! Yea, I've made them before, but they were a healthy version, I saw on an episode of some food network show, they were I wanna say 90 calories each or something? but involved 2 of them smushed between low-fat frozen yogurt, like an oatmeal ice cream cookie...It was actually pretty delicious. The Orange juice to plump the berries sounds good though. Me thinks I may be going to the grocery store soon..

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

Bored, you can just substitute dried cranberries for raisins in any oatmeal cookie recipe.

Even more delicious-- soak the raisins or cranberries in orange juice to "plump" them and add grated orange zest to the dough.

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 6:33pm.
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just be certain you use real stick butter (salted) and light brown sugar. if your butter is salted, use about 1/2 to 1/3 of the salt the recipe calls for.

I'll admit it - I like Jessica Simpson. She's something most celebrities are not: real and uncouth (as in refreshingly not coached/publicist-ized within an inch of her life). Plus she clearly doesn't give a shit about the hateful things people say about her weight, intellect, etc. I respect that.

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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

Since you whores are talking about cookies, the most awesome cookies I never see anymore, I believe were by pepperidge farm, instead of Oatmeal Raisin they were Oatmeal craisin, with the cranberries, and they were THE SHIT! I never see them anymore. :(

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

It's probably been said, but the reason she's wearing those record sized sunglasses is because her face is on swoll! As my ghetto sister would say.

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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-

"Yeah, Vanessa Minnillo posted pictures of her baby bump on twitter the other day, and Jessica comes out with this shortly after. Manilafolders just owned the mouth breather twice over."
Spot on. For the last few days, every time Vanessa put something on Twitter, Jessucka does something similar an hour or so later. Sad sad sad. And so obvious.
The other sad part is that I actually know this.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 6:49pm.

<"See a lot of pregnant and post-preg women with bloated features especially their noses">

Oh, MizRo, when the baby is four month old it's time to quit blaming it and "bloating".
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Quick poll: Does *anyone* think she'll lose the weight in time?

<"See a lot of pregnant and post-preg women with bloated features especially their noses">

Oh, MizRo, when the baby is four months old it's time to quit blaming it and "bloating".

if she isn't breast feeding, or maybe if she is with a doctor's approval, she needs to go on a lemon water fast for two days and then an all organic nothing but fruits and vegetables, spring water and green tea for 10 days. that will clean her palate and junk carb cravings and clear toxins. then work back in nothing but healthy whole grains, lean meats, low fat dairy and fruits and veggies.

i did this two years ago and it totally changed my life. after trying and trying to lose weight and not being able to stick to any diet more than 3 days, i just said, the hell with it. i am just not going to eat. so i starting fasting on lemon water. and felt great. you really can't do that very comfortably for more than a couple of days so i started looking up "detox fast" on the computer which led me to fruit and vegetable detox which i continued for more than a week. you can't do this for too long because your body needs quality protein. but i felt like my entire body and mind was reset afterwards.

jessica has probably developed a hell of a food addiction after binging for 9 months. and i suspect she probably already had one. she needs to clean that palate and get all that junk out of her system.

This article still resonates, for obvious reasons:

"DONT BE LIKE JESSICA SIMPSON!

"Oh, but before anyone gets too uppity, I should clarify: Im not telling you never to gain 10 or 15 pounds. Im not saying that only skinny women deserve love. No no no. That misses the point. Im saying dont be like Jessica Simpson.

"You know, dont be a no-talent shell of a celebrity with absolutely nothing going for you aside from your kicking body. Because guess what? Once that body goes, and it will go (as surely as Jessica goes for the last remaining Twinkie in her Costco-sized package of Hostess treats), youll be nothing.

"The whole reason its wrong to define women by their appearance is because it unfairly overlooks all their more important talents, qualities and achievements. But in the case of Jessica Simpson, Im just not sure what those are. Wasnt her only talent the ability to unite 14-year-old boys and dirty old men in a mutual interest? Am I missing something?

"...Do you understand, girls? No one is saying that chubby women are worthless. But everyone is saying that no one cares about worthless women who used to have good bodies. And dont think this is confined to women.

"Do you think Keanu Reeves would still get work if he let himself go? Oh really? Whens the last time you saw Val Kilmer in a summer blockbuster? So the key here is dont be useless."

http://www.cracked.com/blog/dont-be-like-jessica-simpson-a-lesson-for-yo...

Um, cookies? hrah?
See a lot of pregnant and post-preg women with bloated features especially their noses, Tex.

Ugly nose. How the hell do you get fat there?!

Okay, you guys just HAD to start with the cookies talk. I've been fighting the craving all day now that the weather has cooled off.

Out of the oven in 20 minutes-- flourless peanut butter and dark chocolate chunk cookies that will be finished with a sprinkling of sea salt flakes.

Next up-- oatmeal raisin with walnuts, fresh ginger and grated orange peel.

Quite the mental midget look. Ennui.

Submitted by charlie loves tiger: "the best oatmeal raisin recipe is under the lid of a canister of quaker oats. the best chocolate chip recipe is on the back of a bag of nestle toll house semi sweet chocolate chips. they will never fail you."

That is the truth. They have test kitchens and want to showcase their product.

Stonyfield Farms has a good cupcake recipe for their vanilla yogurt. And Hellman's mayo parmesan crusted chicken is orgasmic. Everyone LOVES that stuff.

Single-tittedly!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Those gigante chichis are probably seeing a lot of Johnson action.

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

Chubbay deegets.

the best oatmeal raisin recipe is under the lid of a canister of quaker oats. the best chocolate chip recipe is on the back of a bag of nestle toll house semi sweet chocolate chips. they will never fail you.

As some who gained 45 to 60 lbs with three pregnancies in four years, this chick has gained about 75. My excuse was each time I was working for 10 hours a days on crazy stressful stuff. Stuffing my face help me kept my energy up and stress level down. Goddamn I hated being pregnant. I looked like a fucking monster and i carried huge like this thing did. I lost all the weight in 5 months each time but that shit killed. And you can't do it eating fruit loops.

Unfortunately I take some pleasure in a wealthy celebrity actually looking worst than I did. Apart from those gross boobs (can you imagine the crumbs stuck down there? I can) - her glasses blow - they cover her brows making her forehead look weird and sit strangely on her nose, making that look weird

Is this supposed to be an advert for whatever that tiny gadget is pinned to her cleav?

It's so icky that she keeps drawing attention to those engorged jugs to distract attention from her mammoth body. Like milky mom boobs are so sexy.

And speaking of cookies, I just snarfed down half a dozen passion fruit macarons. I'd eat a dozen more too if I had them.

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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K

WOOF! THAT'S BUZZ'S GIRLFRIEND!

You know, a normal mother would be shoving pictures of their BABY under everyone's nose instead of their own tits.

Suzy Farkis -- something odd is going on with her forehead, but I've always thought her nose is odd. The bridge of her nose has always been very thick, plus she has quite the honker. The mouf breathing is very unattractive, too. It doesn't help that she has an IQ of about 20 either.

Within -- hiya, honey!

Ahhh...MK, you need your own TV show.
Or at least write a book. : D

Submitted by Albatross on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:12pm.

Close your damn mouth. Ugh, I can't stand this vapid bitch.

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AMEN. I think she's drooling over own boobs. What a dumbfuck.

If Papa Joe didn't take the picture, he at least made this his new wallpaper. Ick.

I really wish this famewhale would disappear.

Fuck man, I know my tits looked like that after having a baby. Thankfully they didn't stay like that.

GG, chunky dark chocolate chips... check. Oatmeal flakes... check... flour... check... milk... double-check... homemade GG! *Blame Salma* ;D

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Enough with the cookies, guys! You're making me want to jump into my vehicle and make a run for the cookie aisle!

Salma, funny you should say that... oatmeal chocolate chip would be good too... mmm mmm mmm good idea Salma baby! ;p

OnT: what is that thing clipped to Jessica's top? A boob monitor? hehehe

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 5:02pm.

damnit!... *squints eyes to fulfill badass pose*... Bobby McMillian just made my list... the purple leather couch is going too!... *sharpens machete*... hee!

OT: she doesn't bother me. she's a harmless simpleton. pat her head, and move on by.

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

LOL @ Gardening Girl! I wouldn't be surprised to hear a low guteral "Duhhhhhuhhhhh" come out of that mouth. LMAO!

"Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:45pm.

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:27pm.
Meh. My boobs are better looking
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so... so!... i'm gonna have to be the one to do this, huh?... *sigh*... alright then...

prove it! lets see those puppies!

jeebus, the usual suspects are really dropping the ball here today!"

Tsk, tsk. I've already learned my lesson with that one thanks to a guy named Bobby McMillian and a purple leather couch.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by WithinReason... on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:56pm.
Haha Salma, me too, I bike in 15-20 mins. or drive in for 2. I could walk it but I'd NEVER make it in on time. ;P

OnT: Craving a tall glass of fresh milk... and some Oreos... that's right! *never have cookies at the house so don't blame me for the bad cravings* lol

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biking to work is awesome. No traffic jams

How about a homemade cookie?? ha ha

Haha Salma, me too, I bike in 15-20 mins. or drive in for 2. I could walk it but I'd NEVER make it in on time. ;P

OnT: Craving a tall glass of fresh milk... and some Oreos... that's right! *never have cookies at the house so don't blame me for the bad cravings* lol

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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"Another one who has ballooned." - Jackie Stone (Patsy Stone's sister)

@ WR Yeah, I'm very close that I can ride my bicycle to work.

The amniotic fluid went north.
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Fair is foul and foul is fair..

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:27pm.
Meh. My boobs are better looking
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so... so!... i'm gonna have to be the one to do this, huh?... *sigh*... alright then...

prove it! lets see those puppies!

jeebus, the usual suspects are really dropping the ball here today!

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Hey Salma baby, I'll be heading out for a bit later but otw it's a quiet Sat. Hope you live near work at least if you're on shifts! That's the best if you can swing that... ;D

OnT: She needs those giant glasses on her chichis!

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

I wouldnt be surprised to hear a low guteral "Duhhhhhuhhhhhhhhhh" come out of that mouth.

I seem to be the only one who thinks her nose and forehead look weird!

OUCH! *cradles my own melons protectively*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sat, 06/23/2012 - 4:19pm.
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((♥Lucy♥)), we could sit back and quote you all day! EXACTLY!

At least Jessica is harmless compared to the rest... Miley, Vanessa, Bynes, Wilmer, Lezbeaver, the Twatlighters, on and on... delete/flush/repeat!

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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Hi Beautiful Within,

I'm doing split shifts all this weekend so I went in for the early birdies and will go back late afternoon for the hung over duckies.

How about you? Working? Special plans?

OT: Saw Jessica posted on Twitter several boxes of breakfast cereal that included Fruit Pebbles and Fruit Loops. I hope she isn't eating that toxic crap. Even on WW there needs to be a ban on all foods with HFCS ,artificial flavors and colors.

She is so....exhibitionist to the extreme. I'm very glad for her infant's sake that her mammaries are up to the challenge. Cover those things up, though. Do you really need to tweet this mess? The answer of course, with this horse, is always neighhhhhhhh. She and him pain pimp father bug the crap outta me.
That is all.

My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.

gawd. still. looks better than britbrit.

Meh. My boobs are better looking.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."