Somebody Got A MasterCuts Blow Out
You know it's a special occasion when Brad Pitt gets defleaed and fully groomed. Brad got his anal glands pinched and flat ironed his way to Fabio levels of beauty last night for the Make It Right Gala in New Orleans. Yes, Brangelina's maids spent most of their night scrubbing the ass jelly, scalp grease and dick smegma from the bottom of Brad Pitt's shower, but it was well worth it, because for once he didn't have a Pig Pen cloud of stank around him.
That blowout made Brad look like a Keith Urban wax figure made with orange candle gel and a recycled wig from a Jennifer Aniston mannequin, so what I'm saying is that this is a few steps up from bitch's usual raggedy look. And I don't even mind that he's dressed like he should have a stack of cocktail napkins and a plastic tray of canapés in his hand.
Here's more of St. Angie and Brad at last night's thing as well as some pictures of Angie walking around with three members of the child army in New Orleans today. I guess a daily diet of McDonald's and gas station food is the way to go, because Zahara and Pax are almost adult people height! And I see Zahara trying to keep Blue Ivy in check with that blue braid. Shots fired.
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Submitted by oh dave on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 2:32am.
When I read that they sold a picture of their kids for $12,000,000, I couldn't believe it. He explained to NPR that it was to stop "stalkerazzi" who would have gone to insane lengths to get the pictures, "So we figured, 'Let's cut it off in the beginning,' and instead of that money going to people I do not respect, we would make some good out of it."
So they gave the money to their own charity. Then I guess they got a nice write-off on their taxes and also got to decide how to spend the money they gave themselves. I can't decided whether this is evil genius or just plain old pragmatism.
But I hated photos staged for the paparazzi and that's what this looks like. The way the photos are cropped you can't really tell what's going on around them, but if they "have to plan an escape every day just to get out of the house — kind of a Mission Impossible with decoys" then how can they walk down the street without being mobbed?
For all we know Brad and Jen were going to break up anyway and the whole thing was staged. If you can justify selling your kids photos, justifying capitalizing on a breakup should be easy.
The whole thing boils down to the fact that they are no more interesting than the fake marriage between the reality star and the basketball dunce. There's not much difference between these two and LeAnn Rimes' daily bikini pics. It seems like it's all about money, ego, and public image. That sounds like a bad thing to say about these two, but I just assume pictures like this are product. Neither of them seems that deep. It's nice that they seem to care more than most people, but seeming to care about things is part of their brand. They should be left alone. If no one bothered them they would probably be camwhores on skype.
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CO-SIGN !!!!!!!
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 2:46pm.
Not sure if anyone else has already asked this question, but are these 150 homes that he's trying to raise money for and get built THE SAME 150 houses he was saying he was going to build 4-5 years ago?
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YES. Many of the people waiting to move into these homes have been living in trailer homes waiting for them to be finished. And we're supposed to throw a fucking parade for Brad Pitt, can you believe it?
Submitted by rotten_egg on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 2:47pm.
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I just am really curious as to how you can see that Brad is morphing into Angelina and apparently has her hair colour just some different shade when he has dark blonde hair and she has brown hair...if you go by shades then you can say he has Hendricks hair just a different shade its just a cheap jab at them.
This page IS morphing into female first what with all the conspiracy theories and rabid hate.
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
Dear Alessandra, I won't bother with explaining anything to you since arguing with a Brangeloonie is such a pointless task... why not leave it at "we agree to disagree"?. Also, you've been here long enough to figure out we are mostly equal oportunity celebrity bashers. Leave that "you're all becoming female first dwellers" bullshit for the newcomers; and you forgot to call us "jellyz h8ters", by the way.
Lucifer_Sam:
Yeah, because he's a nearly-50-year-old moron. What a dumb shit to say at his fucking age. I don't doubt his mind DOES work like that of a 15-year-old. :)
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Not sure if anyone else has already asked this question, but are these 150 homes that he's trying to raise money for and get built THE SAME 150 houses he was saying he was going to build 4-5 years ago?
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I'm your huckleberry...
His cheeks have been stuffed with something and his skin exfoliated by a doctor. She looks like a walking skeleton. Gross.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 11:54am.
Whamo - that's Pax not Mad. :D
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Hey they look the same to me! ! What, did I say that!? :)
the kids are cute...
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They seem average at best.
GG - the BH has a goatee also. But on the rare instance he shaves it off it freaks me out. He's ALWAYS had one and when it's gone he looks so damn different.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 11:57am.
Well shit, after reading some comments I see I need my tinfoil suit.
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lol
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
My husband also wears a goatee. It's fuck ugly!
Submitted by rotten_egg on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 2:05am.
What a pathetic man, still morphing into his chick at his fucking age. I get he has always been pretty much a vapid dumb shell, but I think a man his age would've been able to find his own identity by now.
So true. It's very embarrassing.
Plus he's giving interviews about how he does things because he's "bored". What is he, 15? He's got ten thousand kids and he's bored. You can tell he's already checked the fuck out of that relationship. Just waiting for his bags to come down in the elevator, so to speak. He makes HO-lie look good in comparison.
Well shit, after reading some comments I see I need my tinfoil suit.
I am shocked that Z's hair is actually DONE.
Whamo - that's Pax not Mad. :D
Maddox looks like he's shank you in an alley, steal your wallet and then Parkour his way out of there while you hopelessly chase him.
the kids are cute...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
http://www.google.at/imgres?q=meryl+streep+angelina+jolie+oscars+2012&um...
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 2:05am.
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WTF?? how is he morphing into Angelina, he looks nothing like her and that with the hair I really dont see where you come from. He has dark blonde hair and she has brown hair!?!?
This site is morphing into female first, you guys are hate-nutters.
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
Angie's pregnant again, isn't she? She always is so smiley when she's knocked up.
Submitted by gia on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 8:04pm.
"I think since Angelina's mother died she has been trying to dress the way her mom did, she really did love her mom & look up to her."
Dressing like her when she was still alive is one thing, trying to look like her now that she is dead is another.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
When I read that they sold a picture of their kids for $12,000,000, I couldn't believe it. He explained to NPR that it was to stop "stalkerazzi" who would have gone to insane lengths to get the pictures, "So we figured, 'Let's cut it off in the beginning,' and instead of that money going to people I do not respect, we would make some good out of it."
So they gave the money to their own charity. Then I guess they got a nice write-off on their taxes and also got to decide how to spend the money they gave themselves. I can't decided whether this is evil genius or just plain old pragmatism.
But I hated photos staged for the paparazzi and that's what this looks like. The way the photos are cropped you can't really tell what's going on around them, but if they "have to plan an escape every day just to get out of the house — kind of a Mission Impossible with decoys" then how can they walk down the street without being mobbed?
For all we know Brad and Jen were going to break up anyway and the whole thing was staged. If you can justify selling your kids photos, justifying capitalizing on a breakup should be easy.
The whole thing boils down to the fact that they are no more interesting than the fake marriage between the reality star and the basketball dunce. There's not much difference between these two and LeAnn Rimes' daily bikini pics. It seems like it's all about money, ego, and public image. That sounds like a bad thing to say about these two, but I just assume pictures like this are product. Neither of them seems that deep. It's nice that they seem to care more than most people, but seeming to care about things is part of their brand. They should be left alone. If no one bothered them they would probably be camwhores on skype.
What a pathetic man, still morphing into his chick at his fucking age. I get he has always been pretty much a vapid dumb shell, but I think a man his age would've been able to find his own identity by now.
He looks so stupid with his fucking long flat- ironed greasy hair dyed with the Angelina Jolie shade No. 5, his obviously pulled face, his dumb goatee and metrosexual look. He's just one little step away from having an exact replica of her equally plastic nose. What's wrong with this moron? is he just afraid to grow old or is he so desperate to look like his partner because he has no clue who he is himself?. What a sorry excuse of a "man".
Meh to these attention whores.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
He asked for the Keith Urban special
The pictures of her and the kids are realy nice... Zahara is a gorgeous girl!
Team Cameeeerrrrroooon!
Brad looks great for once....but Angelina is always mind-bendingly beautiful.
He's reminding me of Kristy McNicol in that photo.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I've heard that Brad got a shit load of laser resurfacing about 8 or 9 years back....don't know about anything else but these two have got a roll themselves out of 1988. Fuck. Your fucking rich!!
I have old acne scars and would love to afford cold laser treatment.
When did these two get sooo boring?
FTW im not an Anistonloonie.
Queen Z has smiled. The apocalypse has begun.
Long Live The Child Army!
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
And Pax in #14?? Adorable. MEH to the perfect couple, but gimme those kids nomnomnom
OK that last pic is CUTE AS ALL GET OUT. *melts*
Her magnum opus, after 11 weeks in release, has only grossed $303,877. That's even worse than W.E., which has grossed $384,700 in half the time.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
brad pitt and george clooney cannot hold up john stamos's jock strap, for being a stone cold hunka at the age of 50.
http://www.zimbio.com/photos/John+Stamos/HBO+Post+2012+Golden+Globe+Awar...
jesus christ, he is as handsome as when he played blackie on general hospital.
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
all i can say is her hands are so huge she would make jeff stryker feel average.
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Posh Beckham is one of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.
Those kids are even plainer than the Beckham's lot and that's saying something.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 6:29pm.
OK time for one of my long rants because I just don't have any interest in spending the next six hours posting 50 smaller comments like so many commenters on these sites often do.
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WELL SAID.
"Fabio levels of beauty.." ROFFFLLL.
Someone needs to help Brad dig out his hotness from under this mess before it's gone for good.
Tristan Ludlow (Legends of the Fall) sported the long hair at one point but back then Brad made it look hot. Then again, Tristan could do no wrong in the looks department back then.
Submitted by Mama Bear on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 7:25pm.
Angelina! Denim shorts, tank top, and flip-flops. Just stop by Old Navy on the way home. You'll thank me later.
WE won't be thanking you once THE LEG starts appearing everywhere as a result.
We'll be finding THE LEG hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for us on the stairs.
ubmitted by liverwurst on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 7:44pm.
It seems Brad and Angie are going out of their way NOT to touch each other while in the car. They won't even look at one another
Even their red carpet pictures are the same. They're over, as far as I'm concerned. Staying together for the kids/money/can't upgrade.
I think since Angelina's mother died she has been trying to dress the way her mom did, she really did love her mom & look up to her. I think her face usually always looks great & so does her hair & I wonder how long that will last with her eating issues.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 4:08pm.
There's something weird going on under her eyes. It's either fresh work, or fillers that haven't yet set it. Something's amiss, though.
--I initially thought it was the concealer you were noticing, but then I looked closer & the area under where bags would be looks a bit weird & lumpy. Like her eyes are sunken in underneath but then under the orbital socket looks too raised in an awkward way.
Brad had major eye baggage going on not very long ago, and now it's gone. lol
"Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 6:08pm.
When did Greg Allman start hooking up with AngieHo?"
LOL forever. I couldn't see Keith Urban but I definitely could see a singer. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Greg Allmann for the win. They suck but their kids sure are cute.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
It seems Brad and Angie are going out of their way NOT to touch each other while in the car. They won't even look at one another. P.S. Both have had under eye filler recently:)
Submitted by Mama Bear on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 7:25pm.
Yeah, why the fuck does Angelina not ever just wear jeans sometimes? Weird lady.
ha ha! brad got a receeding hairline. hey jagoff buy some rogaine & twinkies for that whorey piece your fuckin'.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by IHateCharityChic on Sun, 03/11/2012 - 6:29pm
LOL @ your "rant"...I agree with every word. And I hate her boring ass hair and nude shoes she always wears.
Angelina! Denim shorts, tank top, and flip-flops. Just stop by Old Navy on the way home. You'll thank me later.
I'm totally smitten with Zahara in this picture:
http://dlisted.com/node/45325/images/spl370037_010.jpg
She's absolutely lovely when she smiles.