Who Worked It Better?
On the left is a Photoshop artiste's rendering of Lil' Kim Jong-Il, and on the right is a hot bitch who pretty much knows it won this battle without even clenching its anal glands and moving its paw. Kim tried to win this shit by getting a ho to Photoshop her arms until they looked like two twigs harvesting skunk testicles on them. (Seriously, Kim's arms are what a dick looks like when it does ass sex with a Kardashian before her daily crack wax and dingle cleanse.) But the poodle truly knows how to wear pube puffs on its limbs. Therefore, the poodle wins (like you didn't already know).
And in case you a need a reminder on Photoshop's talent at turning fuckery into mega fuckery, here's the full promo tease from Kim's new album:
Bitch looks like a Barbie that became a new home to a family of woolly bear caterpillars after it was left out in the backyard. Kim even has that "forgotten Barbie" look about her. But I shouldn't hate, because I'm sure PayPal is tripling up their server since it's obvious that Kim's new album is going to top the PayPal charts!
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They just ripped off Barbie's head, bronzed that shit and bent her legs. Then they tossed on Lil Kim's photoshopped head and some horse's tail.
her right arm is a photoshop masterpiece. bravo!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Someone needs to tell Miss Steak her afro puff weave gone all to hell. And how this bitch got a calendar when no one has proven she can read!?!
I thought that was a long lost Jackson sibling:|
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
Forgotten Barbie! In light of her war with Nicki Minaj that is coldblooded! haha
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Stop with the surgery Kimberly.
(973) Jersey Strong
I like how she dislocated her shoulders for this. Bitch is dedicated.
Had to look twice at this mess...I thought it was Bleghyonce...
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"I wanna hurry home to you...Put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up....So you can put a blue ribbon on my brain.....God, I'm very, very frightening, I'll overdo it...."
I think the poodle nailed it.
"Put a needle in my hand, I'm a regular Victor Van Gogh"
Dinosaur Bob
*runs away with angel _i*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I'm giving it to the dog, no Photoshopping there. Better looking bitch too.
Umm...I like her shoes?
If I was Lagy Gaga, my head would explode seeing how so many established 'artists' are trying to stay relevant by copying my ridiculousness. Are there really no stylists, designers etc. out there with original ideas? I bet the first person who gets us out of the Gaga Clone Wars will become one filthy rich bitca.
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
who cares about the poodle droppings. Does she really think she's fooling anyone with that ridiculous blond wig?
Ummm...I like it.
*runs away*
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 11:17am.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 11:08am.
Oh and PS...my mini dachshund is laying here next to me at my desk wearing her leather bomber jacket. It's damn cold and she has little baldy spots from allergies. Sorry...I guess I'm one of the weirdos who dresses my dog. LOL
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LMAO...Be proud of your weirdo-ness as I am of my asshole-ishness. I would have loved to dress Charlie in a bomber jacket...but you know how that would have turned out.
PS...awwww for her little baldy spots! What about doggie cortisone shots for allergies.
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Well her baldy spots are healing now...and honestly when I keep her in a little jacket (the ones that velcro around the chest and tummy are the best fitting) she doesn't scratch or chew as much and her hair is starting to grow back. Thankfully!! :) Your baby is a chewer, eh? Awww...my girl was like that as a puppy. She chewed on my bamboo papasan chair like there was no tomorrow...but somehow she grew out of that. Thank goodness!
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Love Lil Kim!!!! She's so unpredictable. As someone mentioned, she can rap her ASS off!! Vulgar or not. I want you to win Kimmy!! Hate the shit out of this getup. It's like she's trying too hard to be couture.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 11:08am.
Oh and PS...my mini dachshund is laying here next to me at my desk wearing her leather bomber jacket. It's damn cold and she has little baldy spots from allergies. Sorry...I guess I'm one of the weirdos who dresses my dog. LOL
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LMAO...Be proud of your weirdo-ness as I am of my asshole-ishness. I would have loved to dress Charlie in a bomber jacket...but you know how that would have turned out.
PS...awwww for her little baldy spots! What about doggie cortisone shots for allergies.
Oh and PS...my mini dachshund is laying here next to me at my desk wearing her leather bomber jacket. It's damn cold and she has little baldy spots from allergies. Sorry...I guess I'm one of the weirdos who dresses my dog. LOL
<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Photochop: making celebs look like praying mantises since ??? whenever the fuck they started that shit. It was airbrushing before...now it's altering the entire face and body to look like something you will never ever attain...much less want to. Lil Kim...you's a little chubber and we all know it.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:21am.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:16am.
Poodles are the most intelligent dogs in the world and we dress them like assholes.
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It's to keep them humble. Lol.
I agree about their intelligence. One of my coworkers breeds poodles, and they learn to respond to commands so young.
My mutt when I was growing up just knew "sit" and half the time she'd just give me a "bitch, please" look when I'd ask her to.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:39am.
You know that saying, that people start to resemble their pets after a while? The owner looked EXACTLY like his bloodhound. hilarious!!
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Brilliant casting. :)
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:31am.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:19am.
This post made me think of "Best in Show." One of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
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Love that movie. I saw it again recently and noticed things I missed the first time.
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You know that saying, that people start to resemble their pets after a while? The owner looked EXACTLY like his bloodhound. hilarious!!
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:19am.
This post made me think of "Best in Show." One of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
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Love that movie. I saw it again recently and noticed things I missed the first time.
urmomma
I have seen those dogs in action, they are awesome! They will round up anything that walks and when they round up children, it's hilarious!
I envy you those dogs - gorgeous!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:22am.
Any dog being dressed up means their owners are assholes. I should know. I dressed up Charlie, my "fork-tongued devil" dachshund in turtlenecks and paw boots. He shredded the shit out of all his outfits, which was his way of saying "Listen Bitch. You try not getting your ass kicked by Brutus the Pug wearing this foolery."
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LOL, so true. Every time I go to this local pet shop (I don't have any pets, but they sell this kick-ass insecticide there, for whatever reason) I cringe at the shiteous clothes for dogs they sell. It's a dog, not a barbie, not to mention the poor animals always look uncomfortable wearing all that polyester shit.
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:22am.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:09am.
DWM, no no. You don't need your eyeballs checked, you need them LICKED.
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My eyes aren't the only thing that need that treatment.
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*hands DWM a peen-shaped lolly*
heh heh
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Fucking_Classy
We don't have a video games system in our home!
We party like it's 1975!
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Dark-sided!
I can't even remember what lil kim's original face looked like.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:21am.
Give 'em Nintendogs, it's a game for Nintendo DS (I think 3DS has one, too). It's like a (very) modern Tamagotchi.
Hey, it worked for my friend's kid
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NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO... that damn game. My daughter fell in love with Shiba Inus and wouldn't shut up until she got one. (Like every good parent, I gave in.)
Submitted by LaChaylo on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:23am.
My dad's poodle is the meanest little bitch. She's old and tiny, but she scares the shit out of people, even me.
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Sorry, but this makes me LOLOLOLOLOLLLL. I've been around many a small dog and most of them were ankle biting, snarling, little meanies.
IF! We have shelties or shetland sheep dogs as my husband perfers...lol flippin' snob! They are herding dogs and they are awesome with my kids! They will run those kids alllll over the yard! And let one child try to bust out of the yard...not happening, my male dog, Scooter, runs those children where he wants them to go. It is so funny to watch!
and I likes that poodle. Lil Kim not so much.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
My dad's poodle is the meanest little bitch. She's old and tiny, but she scares the shit out of people, even me.
Any dog being dressed up means their owners are assholes. I should know. I dressed up Charlie, my "fork-tongued devil" dachshund in turtlenecks and paw boots. He shredded the shit out of all his outfits, which was his way of saying "Listen Bitch. You try not getting your ass kicked by Brutus the Pug wearing this foolery."
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:09am.
DWM, no no. You don't need your eyeballs checked, you need them LICKED.
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My eyes aren't the only thing that need that treatment.
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:16am.
Poodles are the most intelligent dogs in the world and we dress them like assholes.
Border collies are super smart too, I'd love one, I think they're fantastic, but their high energy, round-up craziness makes them high maintenance and def. country dogs!
My kids are dying for a family pet but I just can't. Not even a goldfish. Their own stuffed animals are my limit!
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Give 'em Nintendogs, it's a game for Nintendo DS (I think 3DS has one, too). It's like a (very) modern Tamagotchi.
Hey, it worked for my friend's kid.
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
This post made me think of "Best in Show." One of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Poodles are the most intelligent dogs in the world and we dress them like assholes.
Border collies are super smart too, I'd love one, I think they're fantastic, but their high energy, round-up craziness makes them high maintenance and def. country dogs!
My kids are dying for a family pet but I just can't. Not even a goldfish. Their own stuffed animals are my limit!
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Dark-sided!
Lil Kim in bed with Biggie Smalls must have been either really hilarious or really frigging frightening.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Meatblocks on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 9:11am.
actually, lil kim is kinda cute in a way, sometimes, under the right light, and day, depending on the angle, and the perspective and whatever else has gone on in my life like not having sex for months and with my right hand in a cast. yeah, she might be cute then.
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Oh fucking LOOOOLL! THIS!
Yeah I think she was cute in a "one night stand who will fuck the shit out of you" way, but that was about 7 plastic surgeries ago.
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by ba-buttons on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:08am.
Thanks, ba-buttons! Always cool learning something new!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
DWM, no no. You don't need your eyeballs checked, you need them LICKED.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 9:47am.
So are poodles assholes because people make them look that way, or would they be assholes anyway?
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Oh, hey now. All poodles are dogs but not all dogs are poodles.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled snarkery.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by little_rascal on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 10:06am.
Cool!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Oh hell I thought that was Victoria Beckham. I need my eyeballs checked.
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 9:47am.
So are poodles assholes because people make them look that way, or would they be assholes anyway?
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Poodles are assholes because they were originally bred as hunting dogs with a vicious and blood-thristy reputation.
Those stupid 'hair puffs' actually had a practical purpose - they helped protect soft areas (ears, throat, etc.) during a fight.
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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.
@ Deb
Oh no, you've not offended me in any way, Deb ♥!
Maybe I'm just lucky with my doggies. I think a lot depends on the owner.
Jesus fucking CHRIST, those ARMS!!
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"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
little_rascal
I am sorry if I offended you. I am glad that you have had cool poodles.
I have known a couple of asshole poodles, but that could have been the way they were raised.
Again, no offense to you or your pets.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/29/2011 - 9:47am.
So are poodles assholes because people make them look that way, or would they be assholes anyway?
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I have a poodle now, and before her I also had a poodle who was with me for 17 years until her death, and they are incredibly intelligent, very sensitive to my moods and gentle, loving, playful, obedient and loyal. Also very affectionate and friendly.