Demi Moore Is Getting Herself Some Of This

AssStain Kutcher is barebacking his way through the cream of Iowa's whore crop, but Demi Moore is the one who's winning the rebound game by getting glitter bombed every single night. What you're looking at is not only what you get when you morph Donny Osmond, Eric McMormick and Sal from Mad Men together. This is also the gaydar-breaking beauty who is leaving a thin layer of juicy fruit nectar on Demi's lips when he blows her an air kiss after each date.

Radar is trying to say that Demi has been dating beauty mogul (FYI: beauty moguls don't only exist in soap operas and late-80s movies) Scott-Vincent Borba for about a week now. So when Demi tells her friends that Scott gave her a hot facial last night, she really means that he scrubbed her dead skin off with honeycomb bits and lavendar-scented sea salt. (Although, I wouldn't be surprised if Scott-Vincent cums honeycomb bits and lavendar-scented sea salt.) Radar's source had this to say about Demi's new "romance":

“Demi and Scott-Vincent started dating last week. They have known each other a long time and he’s really been there for her by her side through the whole Ashton thing. It’s easy for Scott-Vincent to keep his relationships a secret because he’s so often photographed hanging out with celebrity clientele. But he’s head over heels for Demi and there’s definitely potential for a lasting relationship between them.”

Getting with an immaculately groomed gaydonis whose sugar walls are sweeter than theirs didn't work for Star Jones and Liza Minnelli, but that doesn't mean it can't work for Demi. I've always believed that somewhere over the rainbow, a cougar's true soulmate awaits.

I, for one, am dripping with jealousy. Scott-Vincent's eyebrows are so exquisitely beautiful that it's a shame they don't wiggle around like a tongue, because it would be nice to get some reciprocation when you make out with them. Not only that, but Demi gets to slip into a warm dream fantasy after Scott-Vincent serenades her with this at bedtime:

In case you haven't already figured it out, that tingly sensation you're feeling down below is just your b-hole winking at this video.

(Images via Wireimage and SVB's Flickr)

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by CryWolf on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 8:23pm.

"Oh Nooo don't go out THERE. What? I tried to warn her." He's definately buying a ranch up on Brokeback Mountain.

Submitted by blueangel on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 3:41pm.

Demi supposedly likes threesomes. In addition to this Adam Lambert impersonator, I wonder who the third person (guy) is?

Submitted by GreenFairy on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 2:16pm.

When I saw that main photo, my first thought was: wow Demi Moore is dating Delta Burk!

Submitted by Mizzy on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:14am.

Oh, please!! She needs to get over herself and do some work.

Submitted by Dr. Dick on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 6:10am.

Gayer than the locker room at the Ice Capades.

Submitted by Mick on Fri, 12/02/2011 - 1:03am.

...and I bet he's got an erect penis tattooed on his back...

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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
"Oh, Honey. You´re simple, you´re shallow and you´re a common whor

Submitted by not shocked on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 11:33pm.

this swish is wearing more HD Mineral make up than the trannies at the MAC counter I have seen. Demi, Madonna and now JSlo are turning into those creepy old ladies who are in denial that they are no longer 23 years old and now have to pay these young gay boys to pretend they don't want to hurl when they have to fuck them for a shopping spree at Gucci Couture or Versace Uomo.

Submitted by Puppy Love on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 8:19pm.

by becky n sydney on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 4:49pm.
Sadly, he's prettier than any of her daughters.

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HAHAHAHA

So true! The youngest Taterhead looks like she may have a chance of escaping the curse relatively unscathed, though.

Relatively.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 8:04pm.

Why is Demi dating a Dollar General version of Adam Lambert?

This guy doesn't just scream "ghey", he is the Webster's definition of it!

Why is he wearing so much make-up? Can't Demi help him apply it more skillfully?

Kutcher must be laughing his ass off at this PR FAIL!

Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 6:08pm.

He's the perfect boyfriend for Demi. He won't make any sexual demands of her and she can buy him a new salon and take him on some trips we'd all like to go on, so I can't hate. I wondered at first if he was one of their alleged threesomes but this guy would probably wouldn't want to get with that ungroomed mess, Asstongue.

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 6:06pm.

Is she dating him for free product? Makeup tips?
Scott Thorson looks more butch.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 5:44pm.

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL: "I'm sorry; but no 100% hetero man would be CAUGHT DEAD looking like this.

I don't understand women who don't know how to be dick-less for more than two seconds together :(."

THIS.

And Ashton is laughing his ASSSSSS off. Actually, this stunt of Demi's is making me... appreciate?... Ashton. He was a douche, but I never doubted that he was a straight dude.

Submitted by Sugartits on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 5:32pm.

Two things I get sick of regarding celebrities:

1) After a woman gives birth, she gets her "body back" within 2 months.

For one, you don't get your body back; it is irrevocably changed. Second, the only way to get in shape the way they do in the time they do requires far more time and money than most any of us can afford.

2) As soon as a divorce is announced, we're hearing about who they're dating now and how much happier that person makes them.

Really? Doesn't anyone ever end a horrible relationship and feel like "Dude! I need a fucking break from relationships for awhile!"

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"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man

Submitted by Beyotch Puhlease on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 5:08pm.

You have to wonder just how intelligent a guy is who would doll himself up like that, go out in public and not expect loads of people to point and laugh. Hollyweird really must drive some people batshit crazy.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 3:19pm.

Sadly, he's prettier than any of her daughters.

Submitted by catwoman on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 3:09pm.

A week? A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK??!! Well, I guess if she were a Kardashian she'd be knocked up or engaged by now, so looks like they ARE moving slowly!

Did anyone see the People cover with Demi for this week? It features a story about the divorce and in big words it says "THE FINAL DAYS". Like someone fucking died instead of a bullshit marriage between 2 fucking douchebags meeting it's inevitable end.

**voms**

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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK

I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.

Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 3:01pm.

wearing that shit in public deserves ass kicking by gang of butch dykes

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:53pm.

I have ZERO gaydar. Zero.

GAY!

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Submitted by Beyotch Puhlease on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:19pm.

This is the butt baby that would pop out if Doug Hutchinson got Bobby Trendy pregnant.

Submitted by KA on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:14pm.

there is no fucking way on earth svb is straight. no wayyyyyyy. and his products suck.

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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK

Submitted by stake_spike on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:13pm.

Ahahaha! Getting with a gay man, yeah that'll show him (and the public). Sorry Demi you lose this round, but nice stab at staying relevant.

I feel sorry for Bruce, first your ex dates an overgrown frat boy, now she's with a gay man that love his makeup just a little too much, what does that say about you?

Submitted by Bossy on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:13pm.

Gay.

Submitted by Mick on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:03pm.

ROFLMAO - oh, gurrrrrl!

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:53pm.

Must be using Justin Bieber's makeup artist. I haven't worn pale pink lipstick like that since I was 14.

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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:52pm.

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:27pm.

Gayer than a unicorn fucking a pink poodle in a Cher concert.
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Just caught this as I hit post. THIS! OMG *smacks forehead*

♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:50pm.

Wait a second - why does a "beauty mogul" have a music video?

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:48pm.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:16pm.

If this is a beard, I don't get what either one of them benefit from it... makes. no. sense.
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You know - I think he's supposed to be the perfect gentleman or something (and I'm going only by the pictures becuz it's how we do;p); in contrast to the perfect asshole. We are supposed to marvel at how she has learned her lesson.

That's why they had to use a puppet. They couldn't find a real actual man who would find some value in hooking up with Demi.

Submitted by govt_cheese on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:43pm.

A woman would go out with this guy if (a) she needs someone to go out with, i.e., there's no way in hell she's going out alone and she has no female friends, and (b) she's not interested in sex.

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As useless as a saggy pair of tits

Submitted by Wil In Minneapolis on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:42pm.

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 2:43pm.

Amen. I will never understand these dumb whores who bounce from cooch to cooch and dick to dick. But then again .. these sad fucks are actors and if they don't have someone adoring them 24/7/365 .. these bitches cease to exist. Idiots. But .. where would we be without them .. without serious laughs!

Submitted by scallywagy on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:35pm.

And here’s the catch kids, he’s celebrity endorsed which means Demi can explore the back of his tonsils with hers without a feeling of shame or second thought that she’s not straying too far from where sweet nectar normally grows. That plus she’s already got him teaching him lap dancing tricks like balancing bottles of moisturizer on his head whilst looking dizzily into her eyes. The twitter pictures of the first orgasm should be arriving by the time of the first rinse and towel session is over…

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/12/is-demi-moore-now-licking-the-go...

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:13pm.

I'm sorry; but no 100% hetero man would be CAUGHT DEAD looking like this.

I don't understand women who don't know how to be dick-less for more than two seconds together :(.

Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:13pm.

My gaydar went off immediately when I gazed upon his perfect eyebrows and soft pink lip blush. Demi lost.

Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:01pm.

Max Headroom had a kid?!?! O.o

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:56pm.

Mary Kay must be his grandma

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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:52pm.

PINK LIPSTICK ON MEN!!!!!

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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.

Submitted by chinlee3 on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:52pm.

Reminds me of one of the Team America puppets.

Submitted by catfight357 on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:48pm.

I thought that 1st picture was Courtney Kardashian

Submitted by buttercuppery on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:47pm.

Submitted by Terri on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 11:43am.
I need to know the definition for 'dating' because it seems by their definition I've been dating the turkey leftovers for a week now as well.

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THIS and....

Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 11:33am.
Oh Demi! Just because your gay bestie had a weak moment and helped you put in the dildo, it doesn't mean you're dating.

CO.SIGN.

Submitted by Stock Broker on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:47pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:41pm.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:27pm.

Gayer than a unicorn fucking a pink poodle in a Cher concert.

Gayer than a peacock eating cotton candy at the end of a rainbow.

My 2-cents: gayer than a bedazzler

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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:46pm.

If this is a beard, I don't get what either one of them benefit from it... makes. no. sense.

and lmao at Miss Jane...
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011

Submitted by BitchyD on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:47pm.

@ TexnDoc

The British have a saying, "Mutton dressed as lamb" which I think says it all. We need to adopt a similar term here in the US.

Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:27pm.

In the words of my best friend (who is gay) to me when I swoon over an obnoxiously hot gay man....HE IS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, SWEETIE.

ugh.

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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:23pm.

Oh, he's making my butthole pucker!

Submitted by cookiepuss on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:23pm.

I met this guy socially several years ago. VERY nice, VERY beautiful. No gaydar beeps. Not a one. Then again, he was make up free that night. To be honest, he doesn't need it; he's got the most beautiful skin EVER.

I'm not sure why they're calling him a beauty mogul. That makes it sound like he's in the make up business. He's actually a sort of scientist, if I recall correctly. He was that Murad doctor's protogee. He makes skin enhancing water and stuff.

Anyway, I believe he's putting a hump into Demi. Sounds about right.

That is all.

Submitted by BaconSlut on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:22pm.

This guy makes Richard Simmons look straight.

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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:19pm.

<"Submitted by BitchyD on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 1:23pm.

And if he's a good gay friend, he'll talk her into a shorter bouncier 'do. Long straight black hair on a woman that long in the tooth only makes her look older. Not exactly the look a cougar in heat needs...">

Thank. You.
And that goes for White Oprah and Kathy Hilton and those old blonde women who think long corn yellow hair extensions makes them look 20 again.

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:18pm.

Oddly enough, this twink and Nikki Sixx use the same brand of black shoe polish on their hair.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Diva1 on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:10pm.

I met him at a beauty event last year. Very nice guy but looks like a freaking mannequin in person. Straight? Methinks no way.

Submitted by TequilaTax on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 12:07pm.

Damn, that is a shit load of make up on his face. I thought the purpose of make up was to even out your skin without looking like you have make up on?

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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman

Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K