Merv Griffin's Grave Will Be Rolling Today
Toddlers & Tiaras is about to be replaced as the #1 TV show in the pedophile ward of state prisons, because everybody's favorite creepy gay husband made of discarded plugs and his air quotes teenage bride have made everybody at The Soup squee themselves inside/out by signing a deal for their own reality. Radar reports that Courtney Stodden stuck out her lizard tongue, dipped it in an ink jar and slithered out her signature on a contract with Merv Griffin Entertainment. Wait. I should rewrite that last sentence in the kind of Twitter whore baby talk that speaks to Courtney:
Radar seductively reports that the sensuous creature Courtney Stodden provocatively grabbed her sexy husband's long hard pen and deliciously dipped it into her wet ink jar and salaciously saturated the voluptuous contract with her pleasurable signature of lustful desire. I LOVE JESUS!
Courtney's pimp of a mother Krista Stodden says that they went with Merv Griffin Entertainment, because they believe that is the company who will put them in front of all of the best networks even though we know the only network that is going to buy this skankified creep show is PBS (PedoBear Broadcasting Service) or.....TLC (same thing basically).
Doug and the garden gecko who had a lobotomy with a Real Doll also said that nothing is off limits and they will show every uncomfortable part of their lives like this:
Shouldn't they be washing her instead of the car. You know, a video that can double as soft-core pedo porn and soft-core gerontophile porn should not exist.
I just watched some crazy bitch pour bleach into another crazy bitch's contact lens case on The Bad Girls Club, and now I wish she would come to my apartment and do the same thing to me. Because Courtney and Doug's reality show is going to make all of us long for wholesome entertainment like 2 Girls, 1 Cup.
Either Courtney and Doug's show is what you see when you stare into the eyes of a locust in the Apocalypse swarm, or this is just an elaborate marketing campaign for clear bra straps.
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very good publish, i actually love this web site, keep on it
Tmj Treatment obduration Quotes from albert einstein pornography
Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 8:14pm.
Okey dokey. Hope you find a quivering, breathless conclusion to your luscious quandary of desire, lol. Cheers!
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Hahaha!! I love mischievously speaking Stoddenese. :)
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:53pm.
Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:48pm.
I'm working on it - it's such a fuck up!
I've opened up my throbbing privacy settings and anticipated an alluring user name. As we speak, I'm tonguing a FB aficionado and begging slavishly for the erotic answer to my lustful needs.
Keep ya posted! :)
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Okey dokey. Hope you find a quivering, breathless conclusion to your luscious quandary of desire, lol. Cheers!
Submitted by Callie on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:57pm.
LOL!
*signs up for luxuriant, flexing lobotomy*
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:53pm.
Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:48pm.
I'm working on it - it's such a fuck up!
I've opened up my throbbing privacy settings and anticipated an alluring user name. As we speak, I'm tonguing a FB aficionado and begging slavishly for the erotic answer to my lustful needs.
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The problem with your post Becky is that it actually makes sense and is kind of sexy. Dumb it down, girl.
Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:48pm.
I'm working on it - it's such a fuck up!
I've opened up my throbbing privacy settings and anticipated an alluring user name. As we speak, I'm tonguing a FB aficionado and begging slavishly for the erotic answer to my lustful needs.
Keep ya posted! :)
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 7:36pm.
I desperately want to master the fine art of Twitter whore baby talk (without the Twitter part - I can't be bothered twatting).
Are there classes? Does one simply purchase a shop soiled thesaurus and open it randomly with a seductive finger? A finger that has explored the dark caves of wifely pleasure, and still enjoys the haunting remnants of our husband's brown and difficult love?
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Ha! The touching memories of the difficult brown. Being gross is awesome. Looked for you the other night girl, couldn't find you :(
Heidi Montag number 32568451238
I desperately want to master the fine art of Twitter whore baby talk (without the Twitter part - I can't be bothered twatting).
Are there classes? Does one simply purchase a shop soiled thesaurus and open it randomly with a seductive finger? A finger that has explored the dark caves of wifely pleasure, and still enjoys the haunting remnants of our husband's brown and difficult love?
Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 4:28pm.
Ahh Courtney, Courtney, Courtney..this is how you do it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7LT56dYrr4
Cool Hand Luke!! One of the best movies of all time! LOL!!
I've heard worse. It's slightly better than "Chic C'est La Vie" from the Countess LuMANN, which in turn is slightly better than nails on a chalkboard.
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
It will be interesting to watch a gay man pretend to be attracted to this creature who's pretending to be sexy.
I think this robot is playing at impersonating an Earthling female and it's only research material consisted of VERY bad early 80's porn.
Plus she looks like her WHORE HAIR stinks of cigarettes, AquaNet, and granny's AVON.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:52am.
Hate me if you will (and you will) but she doesn't sound a hell of a lot worse than Lita Ford or any of those 80s singers to me. I mean, I know about autotune and all that but she kind of sounds like she can sing.
*shuffling off in embarrassment*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EH9-dIx9BE
I'm not mad at you, but Lita is one of the all time greats!
I do find the tweets amusing as I listened to lots of teenage girl poetry in an effort to get to know them better.
Anna Nicole 2.0
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 2:57pm.
Submitted by Ms.Fit on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 1:20pm.
The only reality show I want to see these two fucktards is "Fight Club" where they both get their asses beat senseless.
It is the only logical scenario Americans will accept... in this economy.
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Well I can think of at least one other scenario that could get ratings for the "reality" show - get permission from the Vatican and perform a live on-air exorcism.
There's something beyond drug addiction going on with this chick, you can just tell. Something really dark.
cosign
If Rock of Love 4 were on, this ho would have made it to the finals for sure. Why? Because when you look up the phrase "rode hard and put away wet" in the urban dictionary, this is the pic that pops up:
http://www.radaronline.com/sites/radaronline.com/files/imagecache/236x236/CourtneyStoddenBikini1_0.jpg
The hos from seasons 1 - 3 were all at least 20 years old too.
Ahh Courtney, Courtney, Courtney..this is how you do it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7LT56dYrr4
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She is probably 26 not 16.
At 1:50 they show her birth certificate and I have never seen ANY birth certificate that looks like that...it's in Comic Sans Font for gods sake...AT 5:38 she tries to look seductive again but instead it looked as if she was choking on something or is about to pass out because her eyes roll back in her head, then she looks at the camera out of the corner of her eye like did you catch that? LOL!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiIwodrnW9g&feature=results_main&playnext...
Hate to say this but, if I heard that Car Candy song without knowing this creepy cunt sang it, I might not hate it. I'm so over autotune, but I do still have room in my heart for Brit Brit, and that's all she does these days, so, shrug. The lyrics are dumb as shit, but give me a current pop song that doesn't have shit lyrics. No, really, please. I'm begging you.
Katy Perry came on in spin class last night. Had I been on a real bike, you would've heard the tires come screeching to a halt in protest. I fucking hate pop music these days. Except some Britney and Gaga, but I only listen to that in private; I'd be humiliated if anyone knew I was listening to it.
Also, who the fuck is Courtney Stodden?! I don't understand why this is a thing people know about!
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Devil's advocate.
the ratings will be worse than T.W.A.T. Pee, trust.
Submitted by Ms.Fit on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 1:20pm.
The only reality show I want to see these two fucktards is "Fight Club" where they both get their asses beat senseless.
It is the only logical scenario Americans will accept... in this economy.
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Well I can think of at least one other scenario that could get ratings for the "reality" show - get permission from the Vatican and perform a live on-air exorcism.
There's something beyond drug addiction going on with this chick, you can just tell. Something really dark.
Have you seen her dancing with Michael Jackson when she was 14?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=tA-IQljeZ5c
or how about this one where she is in a full on demon posession?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DzoZJiQGI&feature=related
It just keeps getting better and better...LOL!
PS I LOVE JESUS!
Sure, her boobs are real! Sure, she just turned 17! Excuse while I bleach my EVERYTHING.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:45am.
If they release a sex tape, is it illegal?
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I've wondered this, too.
How can someone whose allegedly jail bait look so much like Maureen Lipman?
Who's Maureen Lipman, you ask? Clark Griswold knows.
http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsL/10398-13446.gif
"blah, blah, blah. I LOVE JESUS!"
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Loved that!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
The only reality show I want to see these two fucktards is "Fight Club" where they both get their asses beat senseless.
It is the only logical scenario Americans will accept... in this economy.
LMAO @ Raul - Twitch off
Not fair that we didn't get a disclaimer!!! I really didn't expect this to be a video. They SAID they were gonna show painful stuff, but I thought they meant painful to THEM not us.
I was rooting for her to fall offa the car. :(
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
1:11 was way too long for that. As my dear mom would say, "She looks like a victim of the jerk".
I think that the dog, directed, filmed and edited the video.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Just LOL.
A reality show about a 38-year old hag posing as a sexy teenager married to a 50-something year-old homosexual - should be a hit in the Bible belt!
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Put on your lip gloss, plump your chichis and let's get back to the main event.
~ Michael K
Submitted by Pamela on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 12:05pm.
Yawn oh are we still pretending this chick inst into her late twenties early thirties and that her man inst a flaming homosexual?
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O-Kay?!? That's what I'm screaming!!!
LOL the car isn't even moving in that video clip!
I just couldn't do it. The furthest I got was :45. She's just painful to watch. I've never seen some one try so hard to be sexy.
She needs a real man to break her off a little - then she'd be less strung out.
And I don't thing this would even be good viewing for pedophiles because that woman looks ever bit in her late 30's. Imma have to stick to reading the text about them - otherwise, I. just. can't!
Submitted by BabyJane on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 12:25pm.
This couple gives me the creeps on so many levels, for so many reasons. shudder. yeesh
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they both own property deep in the uncanny valley
bought with looks alone
and they actions take it even further
creepy and not in a good way
This couple gives me the creeps on so many levels, for so many reasons. shudder. yeesh
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
WTF?
yabba dabba doo
Thanks, Momus. Another question, if I may... So is emancipated minor status automatically conferred upon a minor person who's allowed to marry with their parents' permission? Or is that a separate petition?
ETA: I don't know why I'm even bothering to rub two brain cells together to even ask. Whatever.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 12:03pm.
Question: Since she's still a minor (allegedly), is she able to sign a contract for herself, or do her parents sign for her? Or is her husband now her legal guardian?
And: I'm not gonna lie. I will watch this shit.
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She's probably an emancipated minor. If so, then she is an adult under the law, and can make her own contracts.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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LMAO Whamo!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Someone quick! get a tongue depressor. She is having a seizure in that video.
Fembot 35YO-looking janky hobag and her backwoods-appearing handbag-holder never-was husband must have got their money. I cannot imagine the fucked-up-ness of this hot mess of show.
*clears calendar*
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You must forgive my curiosity, madam, and open your knees.
y dfanintheD
congrats on the sex change it takes real courage.
If I ever get pregnant you are more than welcome to the pregnancy pains :)
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 11:57am.
Those two guys have to wipe and disinfect the snail trail she keeps leaving on the trunk.
If they don't clean the poon juice right way it'll remove the paint.
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Ewwwww this makes me wanna laugh and barf all at once if that's even possible!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Yawn oh are we still pretending this chick inst into her late twenties early thirties and that her man inst a flaming homosexual?
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Question: Since she's still a minor (allegedly), is she able to sign a contract for herself, or do her parents sign for her? Or is her husband now her legal guardian?
And: I'm not gonna lie. I will watch this shit.
Those two guys have to wipe and disinfect the snail trail she keeps leaving on the trunk.
If they don't clean the poon juice right way it'll remove the paint.
The camisole strap off the shoulder is already tired, girl. Give it up. And I think she is almost 18. She was 15 in May 2009 in the first link in the article on her naming herself Miss Ocean Shores so that means she turned 16 in August 2009 according to the next link which details her birthday as August 29. The math just don't add up. Maybe it is new math.
May 21, 2009 15 years old
August 29, 2009 16 years old
August 29, 2010 17 years old
August 29, 2011 18 years old
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/2011/06/22/courtney-stodden-plastic-o...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/29/courtney-stodden-turns-17_n_940...