Blake & Leo Never Broke Up
Bikini models hoping to spend the rest of summer sunning their nipples on a yacht in the South of Wherever should stop waiting to a call for a go see at Leonardo DiCatchaho's office, because the dude is not back to catching hos. Now Magazine said earlier this week that Leo pushed Blake Lively off of his dick because his mom thought she was too far up her own oatmeal ass. (I'm trying to picture that image too and I'm coming up with this.) Either Now was freebasing Wite-Out and made this mess up or Leo's mother realized that she can't be mean to a ho who has the face constipated pony with heatstroke.
Because UsWeekly says that Blake and Leo were buying sunglasses together at some store in Santa Barbara, CA on Wednesday. Some source they were holding on to each other the whole time and then went on to BLAH BLAH this out, "They seemed very much in love. They were in the store for about 10 minutes before a crowd of fans noticed them and they rushed out."
Sooooo Blaaaaaaaaaake and Leeeeeeeooooooo are stiiiiiiiiil fuuuuuucking. Yes, I'm trying to make you care about this by using as many vowels as possible so it reads like I'm screaming it out full-mouth. Didn't work, I know. So for your troubles, here's a video of a baby sloth giving his response to this post:
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This really answered my problem, thank you!
Hawaii Web Design Cardinality Quotes about Albert Einstein dermatocrania
Can I just say what a relief to find somebody who truly knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know how one can convey a problem to mild and make it important. Extra people must learn this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant believe youre no more well-liked because you positively have the gift.
SizeGenetics washy
Heiki> I will agree with you on that. I've had my one long-term commitment, so I'm safe. ;)
Submitted by Kenneth G on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 9:10am.
Well said. Leo wants to win an oscar so bad but he doesn't realise he can't act.
watching grass grow is much more exciting than these two people.
if they wanna fuck each other, just fuck and shut up, you are boring we dont wanna know.
Does anybody give a fuck about this couple?
I admit I work with the elderly, so it seems inconceivable to imagine people caring.
I mean, even 90 years old people, who like to read tabloids like Starz, People, whatever seem to skip the stories about these two, cuz they don't fucking know who they are, or...?
I once asked an old (sweet) lady if she knew who Kim Kardashian was (she was reading a cover story about the Lardassians) and she said, no, but they were on the magazines all the time, so... maybe that's what they're attempting to do with Blake.
Just keep making people absorb her by jamming down everyone's throat, though you just know that nobody will ever know her name unless she does something besides being a gay man's beard.
Submitted by VitaminF on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 1:48am.
The picture begins again in the morning when she gets out of the bed in his tee and starts to make pancakes, madelines,muffins etc in his kitchen without his permission, and when he gets up, he feels annoyed seeing her in his shirt, using his kitchen without asking, but eats the berakfast anyways, cuz he is a fat bitch..while she avoids eating ANYTHING she cooked and opts for a strong cofee, spoon full of air, and may a be a slice or fruit.
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That is too damn funny!
(973) Jersey Strong
Nope, I don't buy it.
(973) Jersey Strong
"And I think so many women are evil and bitter on this site and every where else in the world we just can't accept when any man just does not like us. So what do we do? We convince ourselves he is GAY and any woman he is with who is hotter than we can ever be is just his beard. So disgusting and no wonder men don't want to commit to women anymore. Our fem-nazi mothers raised us without a clue and we will still never have a clue."
WOMEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. YOU ARE LIKE THAT.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Despite his "mom's objections," the PR contract isn't up yet.
Hope that she ends up like Renee Zellweger and Jessica Biel (although I think Biel has a bit of talent, unlike Lively) and when her A-list "boyfriend" dumps her, she'll fade quickly away and no one will give a rat's ass about her anymore. Honestly, Lively is a complete zero in every way.
Submitted by Kenneth G on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 9:10am.
lol I love how smug Blake looks. Honey, you're fucking a limp-dicked, potbellied Mama's boy who peaked in 1998. When he looks at you he knows he's had way, way hotter.
Come to Kenny's house, I've composed a romantic little adult contemporary number about having anal intercourse with your chin. CALL ME!
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Fucking Flawless...Kenny G needs his own venue.
She reminds me of Kate Hudson.
Re: Marriage by age X. That's a ridiculous pronouncement.
However.
I think if someone hasn't had at least one long-term, serious, committed relationship by their mid-30s, there is something wrong with them.
But no, marriage isn't for everyone, and that's cool. I don't get why other people even CARE.
That baby sloth is precious
lol I love how smug Blake looks. Honey, you're fucking a limp-dicked, potbellied Mama's boy who peaked in 1998. When he looks at you he knows he's had way, way hotter.
Come to Kenny's house, I've composed a romantic little adult contemporary number about having anal intercourse with your chin. CALL ME!
...Leo's mother realized that she can't be mean to a ho who has the face constipated pony with heatstroke.
Thank you, MK. You described Blake Boringly much better than I ever could. And made me spit root beer all over the monitor.
Holy crap, she's dull. Bland, beige, boring. Saw The Green Lantern, and every time she was onscreen I was thinking how could such a young woman have such deep smile lines etched into her face like that? Weird.
Submitted by Honeybadger on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 8:38am.
VF reminds me of someone... Hmmmm.
......
It's Different for Girls
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 8:18am.
Submitted by Honeybadger on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 5:04am
Precisely. I am fresh out of fucks to give on the laundry list of physical similarities VitaminF and Boring (not) Lively share. And too feel camaraderie with such a person because they too have legs. WTF?
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
Baby Sloth: adorable and interesting.
Blake Lively and Leo: boring as fuck.
Submitted by Honeybadger on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 5:04am.
You can add too far up your oatmeal ass to the list of things you two have in common.
hahahaha. You're saying that Honeybadger don't give a fuck?
Yucko...wow, that is quite the honker. On the other hand, at least it gave some character to her face zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
What?
Oh, sorry.
Submitted by VitaminF on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 1:48am.
HA!
Don't forget the alternating periods of staring at her in silent, rage-filled contempt and outright ignoring her when she desperately tries to see if the script he's reading has a role for a plain-faced, mediocre actress, with no taste in clothes, and no desire to wash/comb her hair.
yaaaaaay...? Could they be any less interesting?
After seeing another poster's broken link, I decided to google "Blake Lively old nose." I already knew about it, but I just wanted a "refresher." I didn't notice before, but it's totally obvious that she must have gotten her eyelids done, too. In almost all of the comparison shots, she's smiling in both, and her eyes are really squinty in the former ones.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YKYinnCIcVw/Szz6OsSiUfI/AAAAAAAAFDY/dbf7FCjwnn...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1Pu2zRYfx4E/TKNRV2S8SkI/AAAAAAAAAtU/oLutuRmK3e...
Man, suddenly I want some really buttery biscuits after seeing Honeybadger's "oatmeal" comment. I made some Chinese food last night, but it always figures that after I cook something I'm in the mood for something totally different the next morning.
Did someone on Dlisted seriously use the word "feminazi"? Jeebus...turn off Rush, eh?
Btw, there is nothing wrong w. someone not marrying by 35. Or not marrying at ALL. Nothing. I have found that when girls reach a certain age (30-ish), they tend to settle for whatever they have b/c they think they aren't going to find anything better. They get all desperate thinking no-one else is ever going to love them. I'd rather be happily single than settle for 2nd best just b/c I'd reached a society-proscribed "milestone" age. Fuck that.
As for these two: Do people really talk like that? "Very much in love"? Really? Does this "source" also write cheesy 19th century Jane Austin style novels on the side? I seriously doubt these two are "very much in love". More like they are fucking around. And in the most boring way possible, I'm sure. She is the blandest bland that ever blanded. Yawn. And he looks like a 50-year old 15-year old.
leo dicapriwho? blake what? why?
less than boring.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Submitted by Vicvoc on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 12:55am.
She used to be kinda ugly when she was a teen: http://www.cirugiasdeestrellas.com/2010/11/rinoplastia-de-blake-lively.h... and now she is bangin leo di caprio...i dont know if a should hate her or clap her ho game
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Wow, that was quite a big honker she used to have. And her teefs were all going in different directions too. I'd say she's pretty now, but I don't understand what's so hot about her legs that everyone keeps mentioning them.
Leo is just so so. Pudgy, doughy, hairless 40 something preteen. Why does anyone care about either one of them? She should be selling shampoo in the 70's. He should put down the booze and pork rinds, then put a ball gag in his mouth and become a leather boy bottom. Maybe if you beat the shit out of him first, he might be interesting to fuck.
Submitted by VitaminF on Sat, 07/23/2011 - 1:34am.
Okay, I am gonna come out and admit, I like Blake Lively, I like girls that look like me and/or share same/near same birthday with me, I feel kinda camaraderie with them.
Blake is my height and kinda built like me(big boobs), and long legs etc. So, I kinda have a soft spot for her. Face wise, we are very different though.
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You can add too far up your oatmeal ass to the list of things you two have in common.
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
The little baby sloth is sooo cuute!
Call me a silly cow but I somehow hope she isn't into this whole thing just for publicity cause they seem to be having such a great time together. I'd be weary of him, though, just based on his record.
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Yeah, right. Just like we aren't here to bitch about celebs.
I would love to have her legs though.
I get her mixed up with Brooke Mule-er.
I am trying to imagine the bedroom scene between these two.. blank empty..nothing comes to mind. He kinda features as a selfish Mr. Big type dude who only takes and gets annoyed if anything is out of order in his precious bedroom, for example if Blake rumpled the sheets or something, she seems like she spends all the time trying to please him doing whatever he demands, and at the end of it, she is deeply unsatisfied because he hasted a New York minute and did nothing for her...
The picture ends with him snoring his face off (you just KNOW he snores), while Blake quietly masturbates to the idea of all the endorsement deals, magazine covers she's gonna get for doing Decaprio..
The picture begins again in the morning when she gets out of the bed in his tee and starts to make pancakes, madelines,muffins etc in his kitchen without his permission, and when he gets up, he feels annoyed seeing her in his shirt, using his kitchen without asking, but eats the berakfast anyways, cuz he is a fat bitch..while she avoids eating ANYTHING she cooked and opts for a strong cofee, spoon full of air, and may a be a slice or fruit.
Then the publicists call with the plan of the day and so it begins again...
Someone give me a dose of whatever the baby sloth is having, cuz sleep evades me like a Clooney evading marriage.
Call me a silly cow but I somehow hope she isn't into this whole thing just for publicity cause they seem to be having such a great time together. I'd be weary of him, though, just based on his record.
Okay, I am gonna come out and admit, I like Blake Lively, I like girls that look like me and/or share same/near same birthday with me, I feel kinda camaraderie with them.
Blake is my height and kinda built like me(big boobs), and long legs etc. So, I kinda have a soft spot for her. Face wise, we are very different though.
And I would NEVER bang on that phony bitch Leo,neither would I do Clooney. There is something wrong with both of them.
She used to be kinda ugly when she was a teen: http://www.cirugiasdeestrellas.com/2010/11/rinoplastia-de-blake-lively.h... and now she is bangin leo di caprio...i dont know if a should hate her or clap her ho game
My grandma would always say "I'll bet he stinks!" and in that picture they both look like they stink.
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 11:20pm.
Super Martian... yeah. Most men I see do seem to like me, but it's me who usually does the splitting, hah! I'm a strange gal. The man of my dreams taught this Biology class I liked and he had a gf at the time (who accompanied us to some field work) and I just so loved everything about him .. but was too shy to think he'd pick me over a girl who was going to law school. But I KNOW deep down if I just be myself.. I shouldn't worry about other females.
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Honestly, there was nothing there for him. He would have made a move on you if so. Men who are with other women don't take a side piece seriously. You never got with him but even if you did, you'd be the side piece. And I know I am harsh but that's the only way anyone learns, anyway.
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I'd rather the guy was not overweight, has a job, and is intelligent and funny. He can be a nerd or not even hot.. just at least take care of your body. And that he ask me how I am and if I'm getting well instead of texting to me to talk about every single headache he has while I'm suffering from a staph infection!
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Ohhhh, in a perfect world. Don't worry, you will most likely find an amazing man but 99% of the guys you do meet will be losers. Keep your eyes open and don't get discouraged.
The sloth is much more newsworthy then these two attention whores.
You know she's dating him because she was infatuated as a child with Jack Dawson. Kind of like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.
Super Martian... yeah. Most men I see do seem to like me, but it's me who usually does the splitting, hah! I'm a strange gal. The man of my dreams taught this Biology class I liked and he had a gf at the time (who accompanied us to some field work) and I just so loved everything about him .. but was too shy to think he'd pick me over a girl who was going to law school. But I KNOW deep down if I just be myself.. I shouldn't worry about other females. But I'm not evil enough to try to really steal a boyfriend. I love men too much and everything about them to NOT know when I'm not wanted by one. I guess it's called street smarts? Hmm. Or in Homer Simpson's voice: "I don't know what I do." LOL. I have simple tastes, though: I'd rather the guy was not overweight, has a job, and is intelligent and funny. He can be a nerd or not even hot.. just at least take care of your body. And that he ask me how I am and if I'm getting well instead of texting to me to talk about every single headache he has while I'm suffering from a staph infection! Grrrrrrr. But when I like a man, he REALLY knows it.
I think he is gay/bisexua;-I was convinced by that pic of him and the guy on the scooter. And he may also have Mom issues.
Submitted by Andrei on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 10:13pm.
Super Martian.. I can honestly say you're the only person I've seen in a while who said, "There's something wrong with you if you're not married by 35." ;) I cannot say I've thought about it in those terms. I'm 29.. and I haven't found anyone yet who can match my cool, sweet nunchuck skills.
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I am sorry. I am close enough to your age and still haven't met my true Prince Charming yet. But I have been married and that was a bowl of turds so now I just want to be single until I die. *Anyway*, if you reach 35 and still have not found a man to commit to you when you've been dating for at least 17 years, yes, something is wrong with your ass. You can only use the "he is a player... he is a dog... he can't commit... ohhh he must be GAY" excuse before you have to look in the mirror and realize men don't like you because you are you.
And I think so many women are evil and bitter on this site and every where else in the world we just can't accept when any man just does not like us. So what do we do? We convince ourselves he is GAY and any woman he is with who is hotter than we can ever be is just his beard. So disgusting and no wonder men don't want to commit to women anymore. Our fem-nazi mothers raised us without a clue and we will still never have a clue.
But yes... a lot of women use the "he's gay" excuse a lot. I've found that even the gayest gay won't ALWAYS say no to a hot woman.
Super Martian.. I can honestly say you're the only person I've seen in a while who said, "There's something wrong with you if you're not married by 35." ;) I cannot say I've thought about it in those terms. I'm 29.. and I haven't found anyone yet who can match my cool, sweet nunchuck skills.
I pooped from the excitement of this story alone.
Somebody please shave Blake's hair. I can't stand this ho. She needs the Britney treatment.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Leo's mom should email Gisele for some relationship advice.
Why do these beautiful young women allow themselves to be used by these guys? Look at how he used that other young woman he was with. Sad.
For anyone to think that what's going on between these two assholes is love must be seriously deluded. They are too narcissistic and in love with themselves to ever love anyone else. Just look at them. Both date people for their looks and image only. They remind me of that couple in Annie Hall that Woody Allen stops on the street and asks what their secret is:
Woman: "Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Man: "I am exactly the same way"
Case closed.
...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Sleepy-eyed pink-tongued baby sloth is the best part of this story. Also, the most interesting person in it.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Maybe their pr team miscalculated when they thought blaming his mother would be a good way to end this fake match up. I guess his mom didn't like being portrayed as the wicked witch of the west.
Now they've got to "get back together" so they can "break up" again for some other reason.
Whatevs.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.