Mama DiCaprio Has Spoken

Leonardo DiCaprio's mother Irmelin knows that her son can't ever settle down with a mumble-mouthed non-swimsuit model with the face of a confused Persian kitten who just frew up for the first time and is trying to figure out how it's possible for her to opposite swallow like that. Mama DiCaprio apparently tried to give Blake Lively a chance when she first met her, but was left unimpressed after that boring beige ho kept talking about modeling for Chanel. Leo not only played a mama's boy in the best movie ever What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, but he's also one in real life so he quickly dropped Blake's ass. A source tells Now! Magazine says that Leo went to Italy to be alone and Blake is all sad and shit.

"Blake's a total mess. She tried hard to impress Leo's mum when they met but Irmelin couldn't stand her. She told Leo that Blake was far too up herself for him. Blake was nervous so she did talk a lot. But his mum says all she did was talk about Gossip Girl and how she's a Chanel model. Leo listens to his mum and the fact that she didn't like her has put him off."

I'm probably by myself in thinking this, but I just can't take Blake and Leo seriously as a couple. Shit is a set up. Blake's publicist disguised themselves as some Make-A-Wish ho and tricked Leo into believing that Blake is a deformed-faced giant toddler whose dream has always been to follow around Jack from Titanic. It's the only explanation for this. But if they are/were a real couple, I doubt Mama DiCaprio would even bother throwing shade at Blake since she knows her son will dump that trick once his Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition (with attached order form) comes in the mail. Or until Blake reaches Leo's idea of middle-age when she turns 24 next month. Whichever comes first.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by happyface on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 9:28pm.

Leo's Mama is a Russian from Germany. Just wanted to make that clear since so many people keep referring to her as his Italian Mama.

Submitted by the_hot_chick on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 8:32pm.

Two thoughts:

1) This relationship was a pr stunt- she had that green flashlight movie out, and Leo needed to make his ex gf jealous after their recent break up (he and gf broke up like a month or less before this fling started).

Leo and Blake may not have even slept together. Now that her movie is out of theaters and he's over his ex, they don't need to be together. The mom excuse is probably a construct of their pr reps- something to explain the end of the fling without either of them taking blame/looking like the bad guy.

2) I don't think Leo is gay. I don't think he's asexual. I do think he's a "modelizer". He probably hasn't gotten married because he's too focused on work. He may settle down after he gets his oscar/hits his 40's. And it will likely be to a blonde foreign model in her 20's.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

Submitted by sexytime on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 8:03pm.

Zorba - because of an actor ex-boyfriend of his. Leo told him that he will never come out - would hurt his career too much.

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Submitted by JewJewBean on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:42pm.

Can't stand either one of these two. And, I also hate parents like this lady. Why is it so hard to understand that the people you CHOOSE to date say a hell of a lot about you as a person? Especially, when you date the same type of person over and over. Leo is just as vapid as the models he date. Like attracts like. Those women his mother hate are just the female versions of her son.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:28pm.

@sexytime, I do think Leo's gay but what's your "good authority"? Did you fuck him yourself? lol.

Wish he would stop playing already. He looks so uncomfortable and annoyed around beautiful women.

Submitted by sexytime on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:22pm.

Sorry to break it to you my dears, (though I'm sure it's not a surprise to a lot of you), but I have it on good authority that Mr. Leo DiCaprio is gay. Mama turned Blake Lively down for the currently open beard position.

Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:15pm.

If this is true, which I doubt, I kind of like it. I have shit taste in men, and I use my brother as the objective opinion when I'm dating someone. Sometimes you need help when you're dick/pussymatized. Or maybe it's because everyone's mama likes me. Leo's probably gay though, so none of this matters.

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Submitted by almostfamous88 on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 7:04pm.

Her drool mouth and slurred speech probably scared his mom

Submitted by Mynameisntmediu... on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 6:59pm.

Isn't she 'Toastee' from Flavor of Love and I Love Money and all those shows?

Submitted by NDNchief on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 6:06pm.

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

If Leo ever gets married, he should marry a non-American woman. Marriage means nothing to MOST U.S. women.

Submitted by z-listed on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 5:33pm.

Some of those Italian boys are Mama's boys for life, it's inbred.

Submitted by super-ette on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 5:23pm.

I think once you're over the age of 18, you make your own choices.

Submitted by RedPeggy on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 5:06pm.

It's weird, because I'm blonde, blue eyed, same shape and height with a small mole on my cheek - but all I think is 'you ugly skank!' Then I hate myself too. I should be the last to slate her looks but to me she is nothing special at all and all I see is mole mole moley mole. Now I want mine removed. And I might dye my hair too.

Submitted by Andrei on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:53pm.

I really don't think Leo is gay.. but maybe, like Anonymous said, a bit asexual. He probably has sex with the females he is with, but I sorta seem him as a workaholic. I can't truly hate on him because he cares about wildlife (or seems to.. via his trip to India to help save tigers)... but yes, holy hell he was convincing in Gilert Grape. Like holy crap.

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:50pm.

Blake looks like a 20-something version of Leo's mom to me.

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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami

Submitted by TBH on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:48pm.

Oh whatever her sons a man whore, where does she get off being judgmental just b/c her son is in a few good films. Saying that idk if I believe this story I would hope Leo is man enough to stand up to his mother.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:24pm.

Is 'interferring mamas' today's subplot? First JLo's, now Leo's.
I think Leo made it up just to offload Blake Bland's dumb arse - knowing she would be too dim to see through the transparency of the excuse.

Submitted by dementa on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 4:08pm.

Submitted by Sarah Smile on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:43am.

You should read the "Wedding Nightmares" book by Bride's Magazine. They have all these wedding horror stories, including one woman who stood up during her son's wedding and offered him lots of money and a guest house if he dumped his fiancee at the altar. Another followed her son up the aisle, hissing, "It's not too late!"

What bitches.

*********

I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 3:54pm.

HuffPo HAD the photos from Italy of Leo at a big Italian outdoor dinner with Mom on one side and an Italian twink on the other side, and later photos of Leo around town with his head down driving a scooter with the twink holding on tight. Mama knows, mama always knows.

Submitted by anonymous7643 on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 2:59pm.

I like a lot of Leo's films and enjoy him as an actor, but he seems very asexual to me. Not gay necessarily... just asexual. He doesn't have chemistry with any female leads.

Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 1:54pm.

I just don't believe this. Leo never talks to the press about his personal life and neither does his family. Why would his mom all the sudden be talking smack about a girl he is/was dating?

Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 12:15pm.

Oh, please - if this is true it's obvious DiCaprio's mother has taste, and can also recognize a fame-whoring, climbing airhead when she sees one. Lively is talentless, unattractive and devoid of any personality. No mother on earth would think this woman is suitable for her famous, talented, richer-than-God son.

But as this relationship was a PR construct through and through, it's obvious they're using DiCaprio's mother as the fictitious "wedge which drove them apart." This makes Blakely seem like the poor little wronged girl and whips up sympathy for her in the media. DiCaprio is fairly teflon-y, so any sign of caddishness or mama's-boy qualities will roll off his back.

Submitted by cripbabe on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:49am.

bitch please, "Gossip Girl"? if I were her, I wouldn't broadcast my association with any shit like that. I just hope she said "Ch-anel" right, emphasizing the "Ch" as in "chola".

Submitted by Chips on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:35am.

I think Leo is an excellent actor! Truly deserves to win an Oscar someday. I loved him in Titanic, & thought he was outstanding in Shutter Island. I also think he should listen to his Mother...look at what NOT listening to his Mother did for Usher! Besides, isn't his Mom still good friends w/Gisele? Momma DiCaprio probably reams his rear about letting THAT billionaire get away!

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:27am.

There is nothing worse in the world than dating a Mama's boy. Seriously. I'm all about a man respecting his mama but there's a fine line between a concerned mother and a batshit, control freak of a mother.

Then there's my mother, who works within the law enforcement field. Bring a man home and she'll analyze him up and down and pester him with questions. Then the next week, she comes at me with results from their background checks. Shit you not!

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The proper pronunciation is 'bitch, please'. - Jana

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I love what's eating gilbert grape. See, MK I knew we were soul mates.
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by Datura on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:19am.

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:48am.
I always say it and I always will fucking say it, Leo's gay.

What kind of womanizer has long-term relationships the way he does? And is it any wonder the women are always pre-baby making age? He dates models like Bar and Gisele because nobody asks them what they're thinking, they're public figures but definitely NOT public personalities. Blake is too public to sustain a relationship with him.
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Whether gay or asexual or whatever he is, I think you've nailed it with his beard situation. I've always posited that he likes his girls foreign (for the language barrier), beautiful, young, and dumb so that if they blab after the inevitable break-up, they'll be discredited by his fans/the press.

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by from athens on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:49am.

I think he wants an oscar in the next two years or so,so he is trying new shit with his public persona.Fake shit of course,all of a sudden he is now the good son who listens to his mother!!,i predict marriage for this closet case with a more respectable beard by the end of this year.

Submitted by rukiddingme on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:48am.

Listen to your mother Leo.

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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:35am.

The only time my mom came right out and said something about someone I was dating was when I introduced her to this chick I had been dating for a while that was covered with tattoos.... and piercings.... she was a tattoo artist and totally batshit crazy. Mom called it.
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:31am.

Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:38am.
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Ya, he looks her right in the eyes when he's doing it!

Ewwwww! LOL!

Submitted by peacockparasol on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:30am.

Wait, Blake Lively has a deformed face?

I'm fucked.

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"CHICKENS DON'T CLAP!"

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:25am.

I can see both sides of this. If I had a son and he brought home a whore like Blake, I'd put the kibosh on it.

I've also seen where no woman is ever good enough for pwecious son and find that really obnoxious, too.

Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:23am.

And why would she approve of Bar then?? What's the difference?? Is there any celebrity out there who could possibly be seen with a plain Jane? It would be refreshing. Not even Marilyn Manson can be seen with a plain Jane.

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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:22am.

Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:50am.

Listen up, lovedoctor Dreck figured it out: that Blake floozy needs to hook up with that Amy Wino trainwreck since the latter already has a BLAKE tattoo.

That was obvious as blue skies. Why must you bitches leave me all the thinking?

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lmfao nice call!

*******************************************************************

""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga

Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:20am.

Listen up, lovedoctor Dreck figured it out: that Blake floozy needs to hook up with that Amy Wino trainwreck since the latter already has a BLAKE tattoo.

That was obvious as blue skies. Why must you bitches leave me all the thinking?

--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:18am.

I always say it and I always will fucking say it, Leo's gay.

He hasn't done a sex scene since "Total Eclipse" which was a gay sex scene, he told Amanda Seyfried he doesn't do romantic leads in movies and anyone in his life who's asked about him clams up.

In the 90's in New York, he was supposedly way into the gay scene but it was too much of a threat to his career at the time so he does this whole elusive shit.

Submitted by Richiegay on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:15am.

I call shenanigans on his whole game. I can't picture Leo getting hot for anything but a Thai LadyBoy Hooker. Him & Diddy & Eddie Murphies.

Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion

Submitted by Sarah Smile on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:13am.

"But I think Leo's mom is a sick fuck who thinks all women are not good enough for her son. The WORST kind of bitch."

100% agree. When this happens in the non-celeb world, said dude often ends up single for way too long and ready to frigging kill his mother, who has already reaped the benefits of marriage and children.

Cannot STAND succubus parents.

Sarah Smile

Submitted by yucko on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:13am.

Submitted by putas on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:52am.
I loathe BlakeLively and her inexplicable success. But I think Leo's mom is a sick fuck who thinks all women are not good enough for her son. The WORST kind of bitch. Trust me, I have a MIL like that and years into the marriage AND with two kids she is still like that. Doesn't help matters that I refuse to kiss ass and simply ignore her when she gets bitchy. hahaha! Ah well.
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I feel for you.

If this wasn't a PR setup, I feel a little bad for Blake. Must suck to be dating someone as high profile as Leo and then get dropped just because his mom didn't like you on the first impression. But otherwise, I guess it doesn't matter, because I really doubt they would have worked out anyway.

Submitted by Sayonara on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:09am.

Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:32am.
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Smelling each others drawers! Hmmmm

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Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:08am.

Whamo, HAHAHA!! So wrong!! I bet he doesn't make HER bite the pillow. :)

Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:06am.

Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:08am.
Next up, Shia LaBeouf's Mommy speaks out about her son maybe or maybe not fucking Megan Fox.

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And Mommy speaks out about how much of a generous and caring lover he is, at least with her he is anyway.

Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 10:02am.

Submitted by crankenstein on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 11:08am.

Crankenstein

He and Clooney need to start fucking, then they'd be happy at last
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There's an old rumor (according to the blind items) that Leo and George shared many prostitutes together and like to sniff each others underwear...Yeah, I need to get out more.