Tuesday, July 19th 2011
Two And A Half Inches
This is the first ad for the next season of Two and a Half Men starring Ashton Kutcher and shit is not staring off well. Was it really necessary for CBS to make those of us with gutter brains imagine Jon Cryer, douche Jesus and that former fat kid airing their peens out just inches apart from each other? Did I really need to see the look on Jon's face when he stares at Ashton's totally shaved crotch and realizes it looks like G.I. Jane with a deviated septum. No.
And I'm guessing the all in "all will be revealed" is that these three are really mutants who can stretch their torsos all long and shit like Gumby.
via EW
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Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 07/19/2011 -7:05pm.
I hate myself for admiting this, but i watched that Kutscher/Portman Douchefest movie the other night, and there were moments where i would have let him stick the tip in...I am blaming abstinence.
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That sounds like a plan.
(973) Jersey Strong
9/11 happened on Sept 11, 2001, not Sept 19.
What a tribute to the 9/11 victims.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 12:27am.
Haha! Bring on the WAGS - the imbecilic, siliconed twerps!
Gotta go now - catcha later, Loopy!!
Submitted by becky n sydney on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 12:14am.
LOL so good to see someone else loves the WAGs episodes!
especially when the design brief is "Design a demure evening gown for the football awards night"
i remember in season 1 when Lou Hon, he had the blonde big boobs avon lady with a tan with polyester hair, as his client.
and he made her this drape outfit and she was outraged because it covered too much skin and she was like "can you lower the back so it shows my g-string, can you plunge the neckline so they can see my boobs, and can you hike up the slit on the dress, so when i walk people can see my dignity"
See if this refreshes your memory :P lol
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Qb15A8FzEVA/SR3sBRfDwYI/AAAAAAAAAOY/uikaISimTf...
And yes tell lucifer, you have found another PRA devotee lol
Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 07/20/2011 - 12:13am.
Re: Next Top Model
Never gotten into that one and I don't know if I can take that much Alex Perry!!
PRA pushes my Perry tolerance limits.
The ads are very funny, though. :)
Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:57pm.
Megan's comments are ridiculously inane bordering on juvenile. Bogan bitch. *UGH* Perry and his flat ironed forehead. They are very chummy, aren't they? And just as insincere as each other. I really miss Henry Roth - he genuinely gave a fuck, and didn't pout!
I've yet to see any of them produce a 'high end' anything - the taste level has been very disappointing, so far. Macho's outfits are ghastly but amusing. Come to think of it, Macho is ghastly but amusing. Haha!
God I hope there's a WAGS episode! Nothing says class like over-dressed, mindless bimbos throwing side eyes through three inches of makeup!
We've got to try and catch up with Lucifer_Sam, she watches PRA on the interwebz in Edinburgh and is a massive devotee of the show!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:57pm.
BTW have you seen the new ads for Australia's Next Top Model?!
I'm looking forward to that too! I wish they recruit more bogan chicks on that show because bogan chicks who already think they are international supermodels, or their definition of hot is "Avon lady with a tan" will always bring more drama :)
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:37pm.
Yeah Megan is a fucking haggard bogan and bitch drags everything out and she tries to pretend she cares but it just comes off as fake.
"Remember what i told you, this is not the end for you" And she designs her own shit too! she calls herself a designer, yet she cannot provide any real feedback during judging, all she can say is "Id totally wear that" "thats cute" gee thats for the insight!
At least heidi klum says things like "the garment construction is poor" especially that sex and city outfit lol how did he construct a pair of shorts which had one leg shorter than the other?!!
Maybe craig's teefs can bite off alex's man boobs.
Obviously megan and alex come in a 2 for the price of 1 package. because those two are inseparable.
the two gay boys are adorable! but johnny is my favourite, he just zips around the work room like speedy and he looks really butch with chest hair! lol
yeah the girl who won the challenge with recycling deserved it, her outfit was very young and chic, mix of fabrics, peachy tones but that was johnny's choice of fabrics. anyway if i was a girl, id be rocking it with a nice pair of pumps from milu.
Anyway I am disapointed they didnt recruit any tailors or designers with menswear background for the show. i know those guys/girls usually whinge alot because its not their forte but Alexander McQueen was a tailor and learnt how to design for womens.
Most of the designers claimed they were "high end womenswear" lol like 12 out of 15 of them.
Ohhh!!! i hope also we get to see a footballer's girlfriend episode, because that shit is a hot train mess. I've never seen that much silicone in one room since i went to the IBM factory.
@Loopy Gorilla
PS
I forgot to say how much I enjoyed the old dude getting eliminated. What a totally fucking douchey speech! Hope the door hit his aging arse on the way out.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:27pm.
Loopikins, my love!
I pretty much agree with everything you said, except I think I hate Perry just that little bit more. Seriously, I can barely look at the guy. Given a choice between a close up of Craig's teefs and Perry's ducky lips; I'd pick the teefs.
Megan Gayle's twang shits me. She ends every sentence on a high note. Fucking bogan.
Nerida didn't annoy me as much this week - maybe she just scored less camera time. Pinky is a pretentious dick with no taste. Poor Macho!
Your gay boys are both adorable!!
I think the girl who won is very pretty and seems win worthy, too. Currently my favourite, shame I can't remember her name. LOL
Phew! I'm done!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:19pm
Ashton has a small tip? no wonder he is such a douche!
Off topic, when i was in paris, the french don't beat around the bush, they called that movie with ashton and natalie portman "Sex friends".
I'm guessing they will be calling the JT and Mila movie the same name, since it is basically the same movie with different douche bags.
I saw the trailer when i went to watch bridemaids and it looks like the 70s show with PG-rated sex scenes....boring!
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:13pm.
OMG Becky! helloooooooo. how are you?!
Yes i caught up to PRA! finally!
1. Nerida reminds me of Bruce Willis & Demi Moore's daughter tater head.
2. Hilarious when old dude, pink with black outfit (he calls himself a fashion designer???) got eliminated and said "this isn't for me its for you guys who really want it" LOL whatevs!
3. Craig has to stop talking, or cover his mouth, his teeth makes me want to hide. But unfortunately *spoiler* you will be seeing plenty of him on the show.
4. Alex's shirts keep getting tighter and tighter and he should button up because I can see the acne on his chest because of the steroids he takes.
5. Johnny is a cute lil pocket gay! i think johnny is like 5'4... pocket gay!
6. i hate megan gayle.
7. Seriously that pink hair chick has bad taste, all those fabrics she chose for the recycling challenge was yuk! and matcho had to deal with her shit. If she thinks she can succeed in fashion by making clothes that ONLY she would wear, then good luck to that.
8. i hate megan gayle, omg i said that already!
9. the gay guy with the big eye brows needs to work out, he is getting abit pudgy.
okay your turn!
Submitted by Katieh on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 6:32pm.
Brittany Murphy quote about Demi and Ashton, "“I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn't matter and to her that size doesn't matter.”
That's funny, but no one ever says that while banging the guy with the subpar ween.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:12pm.
Hey Loopy!
*Speaking* of TV shows - have you caught up on PRA yet?
I hope this show tanks but i think it will do well because there are plenty of people out there who watch shit like this.
i watched 10 minutes of it once and did not find it funny, and every 20 seconds there was a laughing track.
Fuck that goofy shit. My eyes are on Anger Management. Can. Not. Wait.
The show was funny in spots, mostly due to Jon Cryer's comic timing and Charlie Sheen turning in halfway-decent performances during the first 4-5 seasons or so. After CS got all fucked up, shaky, and meth-faced, the writers seemed to lose it as well and had no idea as to how to hide/use him.
Bottom line is, as crazed as CS is, the show was built around him and flowed very well--he had great rapport with Berta, his sick mother, his cheap, neurotic brother, Rose, the kid, and the various whores who frequented the place. I don't see the new version of the show capturing any of that, especially given AK's limited acting ability. The new version of the show has FAIL written all over it.
Really, all Charlie Sheen had to do was show up, spout off a few wisecracks, cash his disgustingly monumental check, and retreat to home and his RL whores--and he managed to FUCK THAT SWEET DEAL UP!
Shame on you, Charlie. You fucking dope.
I'm only mildly curious how Ashton Puker's appearance will be explained along with the new comic angle.
But I can read all about it later, so why bother. It's a steaming pile of sheet.
.
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That said, Cryer could pull off another season.
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Don't have TV. Me for the win!
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
not watching. wont stoop. Sorry Jon Cryer, I loves ya lord know I do but douche jesus is a deal breaker.
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I do love that Nicolas Cage's idea of parenting is to get one of his goons to beat the baby powder right off of his son's face
I hate myself for admiting this, but i watched that Kutscher/Portman Douchefest movie the other night, and there were moments where i would have let him stick the tip in...I am blaming abstinence.
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 6:40pm.
If Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake had a douche-off, who would win?
I think it would be a tie.
Two and a half inches! LMAO! Hopefully this show will tank so we won't have to hear about it anymore.
I think that kids left hand is someones right hand. HOw could they get that wrong....oh who cares? I cant wait to see this mess. Ashton Circus should be funny. I still hear him say..."her candels are AWESOME".....and jon cryer is hilarious as a closet poofta... the kid I could ram food down his smug neck and watch him choke....(hes not a kid anymore so I can say this)
I've never seen this show.
Do I think the transition will work? I won't be surprised if it does, because I don't think the fans are that picky when it comes to comedy.
If Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake had a douche-off, who would win?
Brittany Murphy quote about Demi and Ashton, "“I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn't matter and to her that size doesn't matter.”
The top 3 most overused, cliche phrases ever:
1. In this economy
2. Over the moon
3. Jumping the shark
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I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule.
Submitted by ortiz on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 3:25pm.
They should have been holding a poster of a jumping shark instead
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loooooooooool!
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
Submitted by MKFan on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 3:51pm.
They would have done better by cancelling the entire show.
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Exactly!! without Charlie I just don't see the point.
No one needs to see Kutcher's feet.
Douche Jesus. *snort* I love you, MK. I may watch the first new episode, just to see how they explain Chuckles' absence. But, after that, I couldn't give a shit.
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Mr. Kinney is so vain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=895h7Fr0m-o
Kutcher makes me sick
so does Demi
i do love Jon Cryer
Submitted by parkerj on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 3:12pm.
At least Charlie Sheen is begrudgingly likable..
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He is??????????
I think not, but I really hate him, more than Kutcher, and as I previously stated I have an irrational hate of Kutcher.
I just have a hard time thinking a woman beater is begrudgingly likable.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Mon, 07/04/2011 - 11:39am.
You're only bisexual if someone rams a bottle of water up your ass and you cum. FACT.
The look on Cryer's face says it all.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 2:12pm.
Will. Not. Watch.
I loved that damn show!! I know, I'm probably one of the VERY few people here that liked it... I don't like Sheen as a person IRL but liked it as a sitcom....
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I have seen this same thing so many times, and this fits into it perfectly. I have often run into people that I find very funny (such as Jack) who like people or shows that I find very UNfunny. '
I have a friend that I can't be around for more than ten minutes for fear I will piss my pants laughing, yet he finds Jeff Dunham funny. Jeff FUCKING Dunham. Yet I show him a Jim Gaffigan stand up routine or an episode of Tosh.0 and he just says "ehhh". Seriously? They have the same sense of humor as this guy but he finds a fucking puppet on a stick HILARIOUS. Oh, I'm sorry, it's a puppet on a STEEEECK. Comedy genius.
Jack, Jack, Jack...you can do better than the crap that is 2 1/2 men.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
I'm buyin' a $139 TV from Best Buy just to watch this show. By Christmas, Alan and The New Guy, will have been in bed together at least twice. Berta will not like The New Guy and will sax with him on the second episode. Evelyn will have sex with him on the next episode. Alan's girlfriend will have sex with him after that. I've written half the year's story line for free.
mhm, the question is why charlie sheen was that high paid if the producers and whatnots think they can replace him. or maybe they just have to rake in some money to pay for their debts caused by sheens fee.
i don't think i ever liked kutcher, everything about him is somehow odd. I think he's a little like a former business-manager guy i used to know who lectured everyone in life in the worst and most tight-up way possible. but i do like some movies with him, though i don't think that any of this three would be able to pull the other two characters with them like sheen did. i'm all for the jumping shark sign.
They would have done better by cancelling the entire show. I never found Ashton funny unless he's playing dumb. Even though Charlie Sheen is a douche. I did find him funny because of his straight face. Charlie's character had awesome chemistry with the house keeper, the kid and crazy next door neighbor Rose, who was obsessed with him. I miss Rose on the show.
Submitted by Infamous: "is anyone really going to watch this?"
As evil cupcake said, I will watch the first one to see how they explain the Sheen character disappearing. I've only ever seen a few minutes of some of the re-runs.
They should have been holding a poster of a jumping shark instead
Wilmer Valderrama for number 2, agree on the others.
TEXBRO
Klingon Madonna say what? - MK
OK that kid is too old and skinny now he can no longer be that cute chubby kid
Ashton is a stupid actor who forever is playing Kalso. He acts "spechul" his Adam's apple looks like it's going to attack someone
Argh that last actor is so gay he can't even play a straight man. He reminds me if Steve from blue's clues!!
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(Dough) I’m going to the store
(Tre) But you aint got no money
(Dough) I’m going anyway
At least Charlie Sheen is begrudgingly likable... Asston Kutcher is irredeemably obnoxious. I never liked this dude.
What's wrong with the kid's left hand?
It seems clear that it was Ashton on those Southern folks' Walmart receipt. What could it mean?
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 2:18pm.
Remember that one episode where Charlie Sheen was sleeping with a new girl, there was some misunderstanding, and the kid was fucking fat? Wait, that was EVERY. SINGLE. EPISODE.
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LOL, so true.