Category: Tom Daley
Tom Daley’s Doing Oscar-Winning Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black
Just a day after Tom Daley declared in a video that he happens to be dating a human who’s got a peen, E! News says that the peen he’s humping on belongs to Dustin Lance Black who won an Oscar for writing the screenplay for Milk. Cut to Taylor Lautner throwing a bitchy “enjoy my seconds, twink” look at Tom Daley. And yes, I’ll wait here while you Google those bareback pics of DLB from a million years ago.
E! doesn’t have any other details other than that, but a source tells the The Sun (via NYDN) that Tom and Dustin don’t really care that there’s 20 years between their asses. Tom is 19 and DLB is 39. The source spit this out:
“He’s besotted with Dustin. They love each other and aren’t concerned what anyone says about age difference.”
Last month, Queerty posted pictures of Twinky Tom and DLB getting coffee together in Hollywood.
These two don’t really make sense to me at all, but I’m not going to judge (yes, I think that’s a first). The heart wants what the heart wants and sometimes the heart wants to pound rapidly while getting fucked by a 19-year-old British diver with abs you could break your teefs on. And yes, I just called Tom the top. What a world, what a world!
Tom Daley Is Dating A Dude
Bronze medal-winning British Olympic diver and the sweetheart twink of the 2012 Olympics Tom Daley made all of his fangirls loudly weep into their crotches this morning when he said in a video that he’s been diving into the peen pond for the last few months. Tom says in the video that he met a very special dude a few months ago and has been wrapping his heart (and other parts) around him ever since. Tom didn’t spill the name of his boyfriend, but it’s not hard to figure out who he is. He’s the one on the streets of London whose face is loudly saying, “Yes, I get to fill Tom Daley’s rock hard cum gutters every day. Stay jealous, whores.”
While staring off to the side (WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING ME IN THE EYE, TOM?!!!), the 19-year-old diving twinkie told his fans that he’s always dated chicks but he’s dating a dude now:
“I’ve been dating girls and I’ve never really had a serious relationship to talk about and now I feel ready to talk about my relationships. Come spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone and it made me feel so happy, so safe, and everything just feels great. And, well, that someone is a guy.”
Tom says that he’s talking about this, because he wants to set the record straight bi after The Mirror twisted his words in an interview. Tom also let it be known that coochie isn’t completely off of his plate. He’s dating a dude right now, but he’s still into girls. So Tom is bi or he’s just cruising along the bi highway before switching to the gay highway or whatever. I’m happy for Tom, Tom’s boyfriend and both of their fuck parts.
Maria Bello came out over the weekend, Tom Daley came out today, so we just need one more coming out to complete the coming out trifecta! The ball (pun intended) is in your court, Travolta!