Evan Lysacek Is A Slore, So Says Johnny Weir

The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice sat down with the Abominable Wigman this morning to discuss all sorts of glittery things, and of course his arch rival’s name was brought up.

Wendy Williams read a cuntified quote from Evan Lysacek about Johnny Weir not being asked to participate in Stars on Ice. In case you can’t watch the video above, here’s the quote from Likesdadick:

“‘Stars on Ice’ is really selective of who they hire and they only hire the best of the best to skate. It would’ve been hard of them to justify hiring him, and I think he was really upset because he wanted the financial benefit of the tour. A lot of us in the skating world were really disappointed in the way he reacted, basically whining that he wasn’t chosen.”

Johnny, who was dressed like a fancy Russian lesbian going to a bris, responded by saying that he has never been asked to do Stars on Ice, and it’s not a problem for him. Johnny believes that everybody made a big deal out of him not participating because he was the Miss Congeniality of the Olympics. Johnny then called Evan a “slore.”

Hm. Is Evan a slore? Before we answer that, let’s brush up on the official meaning of “slore” from the most accurate dictionary in the world: Urban Dictionary. According to UD, this one of the definitions of “slore“:

The combining of a “slut” and “Whore“. Usually in terms of a real trick ass bitch, who can’t keep dick out her mouth/puss/rectum.

“Yo that bitch ain’t nuttin but a mudda’fuckin’ Slore”

Cut to Evan making a guilty face while a dick is in his mouth, puss and rectum. On that note, we’re not going to fight you on that one, Johnny.

And if you need more Johnny in your life today, here he is spreading the sparkly icicles to Lady Caca’s “Bad Romance.” If you really want to make this an extra magical viewing experience, turn the volume down and play the theme song for “The Neverending Story” instead.

Don’t you feel like you’re riding through Fantasia on Falcor’s back?

This Is How Bobby Trendy Dresses To Pump Gas

Looking like he just tossed Tar Monster’s salad, Bobby Trendy posed while pumping at a gas station in Beverly Hills yesterday. Leave it to Bobby to dress himself in potent fuckery while running menial errands. Bobby’s entire ensemble screams “Joyce Leslie’s answer to Alexander McQueen.” It works me.

And it’s a good thing Bobby Trendy didn’t fart while pumping gas, because if he did that gas station would’ve exploded into the next dimension. Bobby’s glossy b-hole can spark a flame faster than a Bic lighter.

Don’t Hurt Anyone, Joe!

We all know that Joe Jonas’ strut is a dangerous weapon that should be used with caution. When Joe’s foot hits the streets, bitches hit the pavement. So I wonder how many gallons of soda came flying out of mouths and how many pairs of keys dropped when Joe Jonas stomped through Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood yesterday. Joe probably didn’t even notice a thing, because he was too busy singing “My smoothie brings all the hos to the yard” in his head.

Here’s more of Joe Jonas and his trainer enjoying a cold beverage after working out at Muscle Beach. That is probably the gayest thing I’ve ever written (this minute).