Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Mrs. Doubtfire

Damn, Euphegenia, what happened??? If this isn’t the most low-budget, last-minute mall Santa version of Mrs. Doubtfire; bitch looks like a busted Mrs. Featherbottom, and that says a lot, since Mrs. Featherbottom was more busted-looking than Franklin.

Seeing Robin Williams (yes that’s Robin Williams and yes I’m very bummed out yeah, that’s probably not Robin Williams, but for now let’s just pretend, because it’s more fun) crashing the Cannes red carpet dressed up as Mrs. Doubtfire makes me feel a lot of things: sad, super-sad, depressed, hopeless. Just all kinds of sad, really. I mean, I figured the upcoming sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire was going to be a pile of shit, but I never thought it was going to be this smelly. Does he really need the money that badly? If so, Robin should have been swinging that purse around to collect donations. “Today I’m wearing an old lady wig and a fat suit, but tomorrow I could be in rainbow suspenders and doing that nanu-nanu shit. Help me, please; I have an Academy Award, this is so degrading.”

Here’s more of the empty shell of Robin Williams competing with Kim Kardashian to see who brought more latex, fake hair, and cheap butt padding to France with them. I know, you can’t even really compare the two: Mrs. Doubtfire actually spends time with her kids.

Pics: Wenn

A Sequel To Mrs. Doubtfire Is Happening And Mara Wilson Wants No Part Of It

If you’re a die-hard Doubtflamer like myself who greets people by saying “HELLOOO!” or shouts out “Help is on the way!” whenever someone starts coughing, please join me in angrily whipping a lime at The Hollywood Reporter, because they’ve announced that Hollywood will be taking a giant, smelly shit all over the memory of one of THE GREATEST FILMS EVERY MADE, Mrs. Doubtfire, by releasing a sequel more than 20 years after its release. Yeah, fuck you too, Hollywood.

Both Robin Williams and director Chris Columbus have agreed to return because – duh – money, but they should probably start holding open auditions for precociously lispy kids, because Mara Wilson (who played “Natalie Hillard”, aka the one who was always begging Robin Williams to read Thtuart Little and Tharlot’s Wabb) would rather be pelted with a million pieces of citrus than appear in that future mess:

For the record, no, I do not have anything to do with the Mrs. Doubtfire sequel, nor will I.

— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) April 17, 2014

I've been in some mediocre movies, but I've never been in a sequel. And I have no interest in being in one now.

— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) April 17, 2014

Sequels generally suck unless they were planned as part of a trilogy or series. I think Doubtfire ended where it needed to end.

— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) April 17, 2014

It doesn’t take a genius to know that Mrs. Doubtfire 2: Electric Hellooo!-aloo is going to be a goddamned disaster, so it’s not surprising that someone from the original cast is coming forward to say what we’re all thinking. And besides, we don’t need Mrs. Doubtfire anymore; the position for a woman with a fake padded ass and a plastic latex face who wears couch fabric clothes has been filled by Kim Kardashian.