Category: Reeva Steenkamp
A Bloody Cricket Bat And Roids Were Reportedly Found In Oscar Pistorius’ House
And here comes that ROID RAGE defense everybody knew was coming.
“Police sources” are still whispering into the ears of the media in South Africa and one police source says that a bloody cricket bat and some steroids were found in Oscar Pistorius’ house. The source tells The City Press that Reeva Steenkamp’s skull was crushed and so police are doing tests on the cricket bat to see if Oscar Pistorius beat her with it. They are also testing Oscar Pistorius’ blood to see if roids were in his system that night.
The source tells The City Press that the police are starting to piece together the events of that night. They think that Reeva and Oscar got into a fight in his bedroom and he either used the cricket bat to beat her or she used the cricket bat to defend herself. The police found a cartridge in his bedroom, so they think he shot at her upstairs and then chased her to the bathroom where he shot through the door. Oscar reportedly called his father after the shooting and told his sister Aimee that he mistook Reeva for a burglar. Oscar’s burglar defense makes so much sense, because Reeva was wearing a nightie at the time and we know that most thieves where flowy nighties when they rob a bitch.
Reeva’s overnight bag and her iPad were found on the floor of Oscar’s bedroom. The Daily Mail says that the media in South African is speculating that Reeva and Oscar might’ve fought about one of her ex-pieces. One source claims that right before she was murdered, Reeva got a text message on her iPad from her rugby playing ex-boyfriend Francois Hougaard. Francois’ agent told the media to leave him out of this tragedy, because it had nothing to do with him.
And the South African media is really trying to outdo the Taiwanese CGI wizards, because they recreated the night of Reeva’s murder in a comic strip. How do you say “I can’t” in Afrikaans?
Oscar Pistorius Allegedly Tried To Revive Reeva Steenkamp After Shooting Her
It was reported earlier that when the security guards from Oscar Pistorius’ gated complex showed up to his house after he shot his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, they found him kneeling next to her body in the bathroom. But the South African newspaper Beeld (via NYDN and the Telegraph) says that during Oscar’s hearing yesterday, prosecutors said that when the security guards showed up to his house, he was running down the stairs with Reeva in his arms and he was trying to do CPR on her. Yeah, I think my brain just twisted all the way around while trying to picture Oscar running down the stairs while holding Reeva and trying to give her mouth-to-mouth at the same time.
The police aren’t saying shit about this, because they’re currently in the middle of an investigation. But a source close to the investigation is opening their mouth to Beeld. They said that the police believe Reeva was sitting on the toilet when Oscar shot bullets through the bathroom door. Neighbors called the police two hours before the shooting after they heard people arguing in Oscar’s house. The police are also talking to Oscar’s ex-girlfriend who made “vague” abuse allegations against him to a local newspaper.
And TMZ says Reeva was a domestic abuse advocate and the day she was murdered, she was supposed to talk to students at a local high school about how she got away from an abusive ex-boyfriend.
Now if you’ll excuse me if I have try to find a way to untwist my brain.
via Deadspin
Jennifer Love Hewitt Singing In A Two-Piece vs. Miguel Having Fake Sex With An Imaginary Trick
Above is Jennifer Love Hewitt popping the Vajazzle gems off of her crotch while singing “I’m A Woman” in a promo for the new season of The Client List. Below is singer Miguel putting an imaginary condom on his imaginary 12″ dick before hitting an imaginary trick from the back in front of a bunch of people who are probably wondering what in “mime act gone wrong” hell are they watching.
If you only had to watch one, let me help you by asking you a question. Would you rather watch Jennifer Love Hewitt try to retrain herself from tackling one of the back-up dancers and forcing him to propose to her or would you rather watch Miguel prove that some bottoms just shouldn’t try to top.
I say go with Miguel, but you know it is missing something. I am really disappointed that Miguel didn’t pull out his imaginary foot long, rip the imaginary condom off and then fap out an imaginary cum shot on the imaginary ass cheeks of his imaginary trick. Bitch needs to commit or keep his imaginary dick in his pants.