Category: Heather Mills

Still Can’t Reach A Settlement

February 18, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney still haven’t been able to reach a settlement in their divorce. Despite reports that they reached an agreement for Paul to pay the one legged bitch 100 million of his fortune, turns out that wasn’t good enough.

According to People: It now remains for the judge in the case to arrive at the fairest settlement to end the couple’s five-year marriage. The former couple married in 2002, had a daughter named Beatrice and separated in 2006.

Paul was not present in court, he was said to be rehearsing for his live performance at Wednesday’s BRIT Awards (which is the U.K. version of the Grammys).

When all is said and done and she gets her dough, men will only be after her for one thing. Karma…

Tags: Heather Mills, Paul McCartney

Heather Mills Has A Lot To Smile About

February 16, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Heather Mills left court yesterday grinning from ear to ear. The reason? Paul McCartney has apparently agreed to pay her she-devil ass £55million. This divorce settlement has made history. The Daily Mail reports that 40-year-old Heather will get £20million up front and then £2.5million every year until their daughter turns 18. Heather has been representing herself after her lawyers dumped her, because she didn’t pay them.

Heather has also agreed to a confidentiality agreement as part of the settlement. That will be hard since bitch loves to talk about that shit. She can’t talk about their marriage or their divorce proceedings.

Mr Justice Bennett, who is presiding over their divorce proceedings will give Heather the weekend to seek legal advice about the settlement if she wants. They are expected to meet again in court on Monday.

Heather will remain the main caretaker to their daughter. They will live in Britain and Eastern Europe. Heather is apparently leaving Britain, because they hate her ass so much there. She plans to live in Poland or somewhere like that.

I’m so sick of people calling Heather’s crazy ass a gold digger. Okay, she’s a gold digger, but you would do the same thing. Paul McCartney has more money than he knows what to do with. He’s worth like £825million! £55million is chump change for him. Heather is a bitch, but she got what she wanted and I have to hand it to her.

Now she can afford to buy a deserted island somewhere, because that’s probably the only place in the world where she won’t be hated. Well, unless the monkeys on the island have internet. If they do, she’s fucked.

Tags: Heather Mills, Paul McCartney

Heather Is Out For Blood (And Lots And Lots Of Money)

February 11, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are back in court today to fight over Paul’s billion-dollar fortune. This divorce settlement could be the biggest in British legal history. Heather wants 10% of everything. Heather is representing herself in court after she was allegedly dumped by her lawyers for not paying them. That means Heather will cross-examine Paul. That’s right Heather! Get your money. Throw the leg at him.

Heather could get $150 million of Paul’s dough. She can finally get her fake leg covered in diamonds. You know that’s what she wants to do.

Paul is apparently claiming poor after he told Heather he didn’t make that much money from his last world tour. He said he lost $6 million. That’s chump change to him. A source close to Heather told Gatecrasher, “He’s been claiming that during their marriage he made absolutely nothing. But . . . he went all over America. He claimed they lost money, but she was involved in doing the accounts for the tour. Heather claims it made tens of millions of [dollars].”

Also, a dude came forward to the News of the World claiming he was boinking Heather while she was dating Sir Paul. He said, “He was an old bloke and I knew what Heather was like. She was only in love with what Paul could do for her. She loved the idea of being Lady McCartney.” I want dirty pictures or I don’t believe it. Heather is a Grade A gold digger and I can’t see her making that mistake.

Image: Splash

Tags: Heather Mills, Paul McCartney

Paul McCartney Flushes The Fat Out

January 2, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

65-year-old Paul McCartney has reportedly undergone heart surgery. The Daily Mail reports that Paul had a coronary angioplasty to unclog his arteries. He has recovered quickly, because he's in good medical condition. Too bad he can't have the same kind of procedure to flush Heather Mills out of his life.

Coronary angioplasty is performed by putting a tube into blood vessels in your crotch area and then moving it up to the aorta where a balloon at the end is inflated. The balloon gets out all the fat and shit in your arteries allowing your blood to flow more freely.

Paul is currently involved in a hideous divorce with that witch Heather Mills and that may be the reason for his heart drama.

I'm surprised Heather didn't burst into the operating room to steal his nuts. Yeah, what am I saying? She practically already has those. Paul should just throw the money at her and move on. It's only money and he can make more.

Oh and Paul needs to lay off the fried shit too. If he stays away from fatty crap and Heather Mills…he'll be a-ok!

Tags: Heather Mills, Paul McCartney

Heather Mills Acts Like She Has Tons Of Money

January 1, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Heather Mills owes millions of dollars in legal fees to her old lawyers, but that didn't stop her one-legged ass from throwing a major New Year's Eve party. She reportedly dropped $60,000 on her party. She spent almost $30,000 on fireworks alone. Didn't her fireworks once kill a neighbor's dog. She never learns! Her expensive fireworks show ended with "Happy New Year, Love Heather" lighting up the sky. The fireworks company should've punk'd her ass and used the message "Happy New Year, Love Cunt Heather."

She also spent thousands of dollars on individual remote controls for her guests to open the front gates, because she didn't want to keep opening it. Um…hire someone?

This may be the last party in Heather's house. Because of her huge legal bills she may have to sell her beloved mansion.

A source said, "Heather is telling friends that relations have broken down so badly between her and her lawyers she will have to sell her new house to pay the debt. This Christmas she's been facing up to losing her home. It's a shame as she and Bea have just started to settle there."

Source , Source

Tags: Heather Mills

Heather Mills Doesn’t Pay Her Bills

December 20, 2007 / Posted by: Michael K

Heather Mills is facing a major lawsuit from her former attorneys. The Mishcon de Reya firm represented Heather through most of her divorce battle with Paul McCartney. The firm dumped Heather's ass after her crazy rants on several TV talk shows. Heather owes them over £2million.

The firm is afraid if Heather wins a small settlement, they might not get anything because Heather will pay off her other debts first. This also gives Paul some leverage. He could offer Heather a small settlement if he also agrees to pay off her debts.

A source told the Daily Mail , "Heather has been told she has to make steps to clear the debt. She has been told that a writ is as good as on its way."

"Mishcon is acting as any business that is concerned about recovering a bad debt would. The firm worked tirelessly in difficult circumstances for Heather and it is now concerned it may not get its money. Mishcon is concerned that Heather could get a nominal settlement of a few million pounds. But because she has other debts to clear, there is a worry that Mishcon will be at the back of the queue."

Someone better get another reality show STAT! Shit, Heather's probably going to have to do fetish porn in order to pay off that debt.

She also deserves it for hiring an overpriced firm. £2million? Bitch is getting a taste of her own medicine. She's getting taken to the cleaners the same way she's trying to take Paul to the cleaners.

Image: Wenn

Tags: Heather Mills