Yeah, Sure, Whatever

Sienna Miller’s friends say that her bulldozer of a vagina did not wreck Balthazar Getty’s home. Yes, we’ve heard this all before. They said she would have never started dating him if he was still with his wife, Rosetta.

When they first met, Balthazar had already split with Rosetta and he was sleeping on friends’ couches. Her friends told Page Six that the two dirty sluts are living together in Los Angeles and everyone knows about them. His family knows. Her family knows. There aren’t any secrets. Balthazar is only talking to his wife because he wants to see his kids.

One of her friends said, “It’s just annoying that all this misinformation is out there. He should’ve announced his separation a lot earlier than he did – she was always told he was separated. There’s no way she would ever get involved with another married man after Jude Law.”

The Sun claims Sienna and Balthazar are shacking up at the Chateau Marmont, only a couple of miles from Rosetta and the children. Some nosy ho spotted Sienna screaming on the phone to someone about Balthazar. Nosy ho said, “She looked ragged. Her hair was a mess and she was chain-smoking. She was arguing on the phone, talking about her and Balthazar being caught together in Italy.”

Ragged? Messy hair? Chain-smoking? Was it cackling? Could’ve been a Trollsen.

And I wish Sienna would just stop with all the bullshit claims that she didn’t know anything! She needs to shout from the hills, “I’m a slut. I can’t help it. I go where my vagina takes me!”

Here’s Sienna and her smilin’ snatch walking the streets of Beverly Hills.

Reunited And It Feels So Skanky

You can’t keep a good homewrecker down for long! Sienna Miller has wrapped her vagina lips around Balthazar Getty and she’s not letting go. Balthazar reportedly went back to his wifey this past weekend to try and work things out for the sake of the kids. A “heartbroken” Sienna fled to the Caribbean to find comfort in the arms of her daddy. Yeah, right. She just went to get some of the “good shit” you can only find in the Caribbean.

Things are back to normal for the two skanks. They were spotted kissing outside of a Ralph’s grocery store in Malibu, CA on Sunday afternoon. Some nosy bitch said Sienna was waiting for him in a car. Balthazar peddled up on a bike and the two kissed. The source told The Sun, “He looked nervy and rode off. He came back later but it was like something out of a Carry On film.”

Sienna loves this dramatic shit. She probably creams her panties every time she calls his house and his wife answers. She breaths all heavy into the phone and his wife says, “Who is this?! Say something you stupid whore! I know it’s you! Never call her again!” Sienna jacks off to that shit.

Sienna should just call my mom instead. For some reason, my mom says that same thing to me every time I call her. She even says it when I say “Mom! It’s me!” Yeah, I don’t know what her problem is.