The Return Of The Walsh Twins

Jason Priestley recently said that he doubts he would be back on the new “90210” show as Brandon Walsh and he’s kept his promise. Jason will be part of “90210” but not as Brandon. He’s agreed to direct the show’s 18th episode, so he’ll be behind the camera the entire time.

I’m fine with this. Brandon was never one of my favorites. He was always so fucking judgmental! He would ride in on his lemon meringue Mustang and get on Brenda’s case for the stupidest reasons. He was a fun killer in every way. He is only allowed back on the show if he brings Emily Valentine’s crazy ass with him. I always hated her, but she earned points with me when she tried to burn down the float!

Brandon will not be back onscreen, but Brenda will! Maybe. The Ausiello Files reports that Brenda is in talks to come back for two more episodes. A source said that the deal isn’t done yet, but it’s totally happening.

Brenda’s last episode on “90210” was a total let down. Brenda can’t leave without delivering an epic beat down on Kelly. I thought it was going to happen when that annoying twat Kelly accused Brenda of trying to steal Dylan. Kelly fails to realize that Brenda tapped that ass before she did. Like she wants that shit again!

And I can’t talk about Emily Valentine without including the scene where Dr. Brenda Walsh counsels her. Brenda really does have a caring heart.

Naomi Clark Better Step It Up

The CW has picked up “90210” for a full season. Yay. More episodes filled with snoozy plots, not enough Brenda Walsh and broke ass acting skills. Why am I watching this again? Oh, right. I’m watching it because I can’t let go of Brenda Walsh. I’m hoping the day finally comes when Brenda takes her revenge on that dumbskankwhore Kelly Taylor. I also watch because I feel Naomi Clark, the resident rich bitch, has potential. But when are the writers going to finally bring out the uber cunt that lives inside her?

She slapped a dude once and she visited her daddy’s mistress. Big deal! When is she going to have a coke overdose? When is going to fake a pregnancy to keep her man? When is she going to lace her daddy’s condoms with liquid acid, so that his whore’s vagina falls off. All she does is make queef faces and whine!

I will say that the scenes she has with her crazy-eyed mother are pretty entertaining. I mean, are they even in the same room when their scenes are filmed? It’s like their acting opposite a warped piece of wood. Well, they kind of are. Whenever I watch a horrifically acted scene between Naomi and her buggy-eyed mother, I have to quickly switch to “The Hills” to fill my soul with a little bit of substance. Seriously, they make Heidi and Audrina look like Tallulah Bankhead and Bette Davis!

Source: E! Online

The Incredible Shrinking 90210 Girls

The producers and actors on “90210” are about to stage an intervention for two of the girls on the show, because they basically look like skeletons. Wait…hold up…did somebody say “Intervention“? It’s like I’m walking on sunshine! Okay, back to the important topic at hand.

A source told UsWeekly that Shenae Grimes and Jessica Stroup have lost tons of weight since joining the show. The source said: “I’ve never seen Jessica or Shenae eat.”

A weight-management expert guessed that Shenae is 5’3″ and weighs 90 pounds. They gussed Jessica is 5’8″ and weighs 100 to 105 pounds.

Producers and the boys of the cast want them to eat more and are about to sit them down for a little talk. Producers on TV shows care?! Since when? The producers are probably creaming their chonies that their girls made the cover of UsWeekly.

These two girls need to sit down and watch a few episodes of the old “Beverly Hills 90210.” I’m specifically talking about Gina Kinkaid (played by Vanessa Marcil) and Kelly Taylor. Gina was bulimic and Kelly was addicted to diet pills among other things. Do you remember when Kelly passed out in the bathroom of the Peach Pit? A cry for help! Jessica and Shenae need to watch this shit so they can learn from their predecessors.

And if that doesn’t work, sic Brenda Walsh on them.

The Father Of Kelly Taylor’s Kid Is….

SPOILER ALERT! I didn’t get to see the full “90210” episode last night, because my Tivo was busy with “Fringe” and “Big Brother” (don’t judge), but some lovely soul uploaded Brenda and Kelly’s moments to YouTube.

One of those moments included Brenda Walsh revealing who the father of Kelly’s baby is. It’s not Nat. It’s not Steve. It’s Dylan. Gross. And gross. I refuse to believe this. As I said before, Dylan was thrown into a mental hospital because he couldn’t get over the fact that he lost the love his life, Brenda! He was too crazy to do sexy times with that raggedy ass bitch Kelly Taylor! Besides, Sammy doesn’t have Dylan’s forehead. This is not true! I’ll believe it when Maury says it. Kelly is lying! She trapped him. I know it! That crooked bitch isn’t right in the head and this is exactly something she would pull. And why didn’t Brenda take Kelly’s blonde hair in her hands and smash her head against the car when talking about Dylan? Is Brenda on her meds again? NO FUN! This is some “not right” shit.

The big moment, which looks like it was very anticlimactic, is at 5:50 in the clip above. I also love the scene where Brenda tells Lucille Bluth that she played Hedda Gabler once. Bitch doesn’t even know who Hedda Gabler is! And I really hope Brenda and Lucille get in a cougar fight. My money is on Lucille. Don’t fuck with a drunk with dentures.

Who Is The Father Of Kelly Taylor’s Kid?

I know. There’s no way Mimi La Rue is the father. First of all, she’s not male. Second of all, she’s in heaven. Third of all, she would never get near that skanky tramp Kelly Taylor! I just wanted to post her beautiful picture. I miss seeing her cranky face.

So! The father of Kelly Taylor’s 4-year-old son will be revealed on “90210” this Tuesday. I’ll have to watch it on Wednesday night, because of my Tivo issues. The producer bitches of the show told People that there’s a possibility the daddy will show up on a future episode.

Kelly has already said that she went to high school with the daddy and they have a history. They stopped talking after high school, but did sexy times together 4 years ago and she got knocked up. I knew Kelly didn’t use protection. Dirty tramp! Kelly and the daddy haven’t had much contact since.

Also, on the first episode, Kelly was on the phone with Brandon Walsh when her kid walked in.

Personally, I’m hoping that it’s Nat. He needs a major storyline. But I’m pretty sure it’s going to be Brandon. At least, I hope it’s Brandon. Dylan has probably spent the last 5 years in a mental hospital because he never got over losing the love of his life….Brenda. Furthermore, why do I care?

While I stew on that question, watch this scene between that fugly whorebag Kelly and the legendary Miss Walsh. All I want is for Brenda to smash that cup over Kelly’s stupid head. And I laughed when Brenda said Donna’s baby is “cute.” Brenda is such a good liar.

Brenda Has Better Things To Do Anyway

Brenda Walsh’s stay in Beverly Hills will soon come to an end. EW reports that Brenda will only do the four episodes she originally signed up for. Brenda said she’s the one who chose not to do anymore episodes. Uh huh. She said: “They asked me to do a lot more. I’m in the middle of pitching a show, so I couldn’t commit to more than I did.” Translation: “It’s getting harder and harder for me to not punch Kelly Taylor in her smug peach-face. Many hours of anger management taught me to just walk away.”

And what show is Brenda pitching anyway? If it’s not “The Brenda Walsh Hour Of Spectacular Beat Downs” then I’m not into it. I only like Shannen as Brenda Walsh. Actually, I take that back. She was sort of hot on that disaster called “North Shore.”

Brenda may be leaving, but that homewrecking tramp Kelly Taylor is staying. She signed on to 6 more episodes on top of the 5 she’s already agreed to do. Gross.

With Brenda off the show, what’s the point of watching anymore? Naomi better step up her bitch game or I’m officially deleting this shit from my Tivo “to do” list. And I mean it this time! Sort of. Okay, I don’t.

P.S. – Jim Walsh is totally the father of Kelly’s kid.