Hot Sluts Of The Day!

NELSON!!! – I can’t even believe these gorgeous golden nymphs haven’t been Hot Sluts before. They practically took my virginity with their burning eyes in the early 90s. The unicorns frolicked through their magical waterfall hair long before RPattz was around. If you haven’t seen a picture of them recently, click here. It’s kind of heartbreaking since they chopped off their enchanting manes. Now they look like Ellen Degeneres impersonators.

Below is one of their most beautiful songs and the person who uploaded this to YouTube couldn’t have said it better: “Great song when you feel alone and sad.” HA!

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Scotland’s #1 Male Barbie – This is just the kind of sugar I needed in my morning coffee! This little glittery foundation stick is the self-proclaimed #1 male Barbie of Scotland. Whatever that means. He says that he busts loads of bronzer all over his face, because he wants to have the same skin complexion as Beyonce. Bitch looks more like Xtina’s clitoris, but he’s still all sorts of gorgeous. And watch the end of the clip, because he does Lady CaCa better than she does herself! Excuse his beauty!

For James

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Sophie Tucker the Dog – Sophie was traveling on a boat through the choppy waters off the Queensland coast in Australia with her family, the Griffiths, when she fell overboard. The Griffiths figured Sophie had drowned and they were devastated. Well, Sophie didn’t drown. She swam five miles to St Bees Island where she lived Lost-style (without The Others or Dharma shit) for four months. The island is mostly uninhabited, but Sophie stayed alive by eating baby goats who lived on the island. Poor baby goats, but Sophie was hongray!

A ranger somehow came across Sophie on the island. When the Griffiths found out a dog had been found on the island, they immediately contacted the ranger, because they believed it might be Sophie. And it was! They were reunited and now Sophie is back to living the good life!

Source (For Amanda)

Hot Slut Of The Day!

J.D. Roth – J.D. co-created The Biggest Loser and also hosted some shit called Opportunity Knocks. However, the reason he is Hot Slut today is because he hosted the amazing spectacular 80s game show Fun House. Fun House was kind of like Double Dare, but a trillion times hotter. You had to race through this huge Fun House filled with rooms like The Shower Room (kinky) and the Icecave. Click here to see a few clips on YouTube, but turn the volume down. It’s a little to early in the day for screaming kids unless you’ve already had your speed and leche.

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Donna Freeman – The cunty real estate from HGTV’s Designed to Sell. Every episode, Donna is brought in to tell the homeowners what their lazy asses have to do to their house to get that shit sold. Basically every house, no matter how pristine it is, always looks like the inside of a methadone clinic dumpster to Donna which is why I kind of love her. She’s a fucking bitch!

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Meredith – One of the spokesbeauties from Thinny Hair Holder! The excellent production values paired with Meredith’s impeccable skills really make this shit one of the greatest masterpieces in the history of commercials. Why, I was almost tempted to get one of these Thinny Hair Holders so that I can have sexy elegant full hair in minutes, but it is a recession. So I think I’ll just go down to my local grocery story and get some dried noodles instead to stuff into my hair. Meredith will understand. She just wants the entire world to have full sexy hair like a Texas beauty queen after getting tasered! And I think the character of Becky Ann Leeman from Drop Dead Gorgeous was based on Meredith.

For Tarah