Hot Slut Of The Day!

Happy Rapture Drill Day, everybody! Today isn’t the day we’re all sucked into a cloud factory above the skies where angel robots made from old DOS machine sort of us into two piles (bad whores, good whores) before dropping the bad whores into a trash chute to the underworld and sending the good whores to frolic in the promise land that is a giant replica of Anderson Cooper’s hair. No, today isn’t that day. But today is the day we all pretend it really is the rapture. If it was the rapture, I’d definitely give the last Hot Slut badge to a pink kitten. And it makes sense that this pink kitten story is from the Daily Mail, the only paper that gets delivered to the underworld since Satan is a silent editor there.

Pink can save her 140 Twitter characters, because the pink kitten wasn’t dyed on purpose. It’s a sad story actually. Pink Panther Jr. and her siblings were abandoned by their whore bitch mother in a concrete factory in Cornwall. Cat protective services found the pink pussies and tried to scrub the pink out of them, but it didn’t come out. That’s when they realized that Pink Panther Jr.’s cream fur is pink because she got into some red dye shit they use at the concrete factory. Pink Panther Jr. will look like a hairball Xtina might cough up until her fur grows out. Pink Panther Jr. and company will stay with cat protective services until they’re strong enough to go to new homes.

Here’s hoping that Pink Panther Jr.’s frown eyes become happy eyes when her fur grows into her natural color. Because looking like a pink Care Bear’s pube bush is no way for a kitten to go through life. Or is it?