She Just Farted

Brit Brit Spears actually cracked a smile as she left the home of her vocal teacher yesterday. That looks more like a fart smile. It’s when a fart makes you smile. Relief.

Let’s talk about farts for a quick minute. Yesterday, I was talking on the phone to my mommy about farts. That’s basically what we talk about most of the time. She told me to not use the word “fart,” but to use the phrase “passing gas.” What the fuck is the difference? It’s the same thing in the end (literally). She also told me that when I need to “pass gas,” I should excuse myself from the room and do it in the bathroom. The hell? I don’t know about your farts, but mine linger. Let’s say I go to the bathroom and fart. That mess will still cling to my ass lips and makes its way to the room I was just in. You’re going to smell it whether you like it or not. You may as well get the full essence of it rather than some half-ass version. That’s my rant.

Here’s Brit giving us a “passing gas” smile yesterday. You know it’s Brit without even seeing her face. Saggy chichis? CHECK! Boots that are permanently attached to her skin? CHECK!