Open Post: Hosted By California’s New Red Wine River

January 26, 2020 / Posted by:

Snorkeling has never appealed to me and neither has drowning but when the body of liquid in question is 97,000 gallons of red wine – why not die for what you love? CNN reports that, due to a sprung leak at the Rodney Strong vineyards in Sonoma County, California on Wednesday, 97,112 gallons of wine spilled into the nearby Russian River! CANNONBALL!

The Governor’s Office of Emergency Services reported that a “blending tank door” somehow popped open, spilling all of that delicious vino into the surrounding area.

The spill has since been stopped and 20% of it has been contained, but an estimated 46,000 to 96,000 gallons have leaked into the Russian River, the report said. The Russian River originates in Mendocino County and flows into the Pacific Ocean north of the San Francisco Bay.

The Russian River is also a popular gay resort area that I’ve always wanted to visit and what better time than now – floating down on an innertube with the biggest wineglass I can find!

Luckily, no fish appeared to have been harmed but they might be going a little hungry.

There have been no reports of fish deaths, but the acidity of the wine is likely to kill insects the fish feed on, said Don McEnhill the executive director of Russian Riverkeeper.

Can’t someone just provide those now drunken fish with a charcuterie board and some cheese to go with their new habitat?

Pic: CNN

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