2019 finally has the mascot it deserves. A tiny angry man with an entire family sized bag of Kirkland brand potato chips on his shoulder. His name is Chris Morgan, better known to most as the tiny terror who terrorized a Bagel Boss in Bay Shore on Long Island. And he’s had it up to here *gestures to his ears* (which I’d say is about mid-torso on an average sized man). Being overcome with righteous indignation in #thesetryingtimes is understandable, but Bagel Boss’ rage is so petty and mean, he’s opened himself up to public ridicule. And judging by his YouTube channel, that’s just what he wants. Bagel Boss doesn’t just merely share the stature, and most likely, the rank greasy stank breath of troll, he actually is one. Chris has a history of provoking people, frequently using misogynistic, anti-Semitic and racist language, and filming their reactions/navels.
Chris went viral after a video of him going all the way off on “women in general” in a Bagel Boss before being easily tackled to the ground, made the rounds on Wednesday.
You might be fooled into thinking Chris is just a regular dude with short man syndrome who got caught on a bad day (maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the shoebox or scraped his knee trying to climb up a curb that morning). But with a collection of videos on YouTube with titles like “Ghetto Hood Rat Cuts In Front Of Me To Use The Bathroom”, “The Orient Express”, and “Fucking With Mike The Jew (Parts 1 and 2)” , Chris is clearly in need of a hug and a nap, but wound up getting what he deserved instead; viral fame for all the wrong reasons and a lifetime of celibacy.
According to the New York Post, Chris filmed his own rant at a 7-Eleven after a cashier asked him how tall he is (which yes, rude if true. By the way, the answer he gives is 4’11”, 5’.). Chris somehow became so enraged that he called the cops and screamed at the cashier that Pakistan was “Fucking Third World toilet country”. Can you believe some lucky lady hasn’t snatched up this tiny king yet?
Oh boy. The Bagel Boss guy has been found on YouTube.pic.twitter.com/hEYo4oIbw3
— BroBible (@BroBible) July 11, 2019
I’m not normally one to make fun of anybody’s height (the notable exception being Kevin Hart). I’m a shortstack myself. I have to use a pair of kitchen tongs to reach the lesser used oils at the back of my cabinets. My husband is short too. Sexy short men are sexy. I mean, Prince Rogers Nelson was all of 5’ 2” and was one of the sexiest mother fuckers of all time. But Chris gives short men a bad name. Names like Punkin’, Lil’ Goober, Napoleon Dyna-mite, Gnomosexual, Stumpy, and Dildo Baggins.