Take a good look at that picture and get used to seeing that ominous flying device, because it’s going to be the delivery man you tip at Christmas next year. TechCrunch is reporting that we are inching ever-closer to the end of days through–well, various means–but it seems that Skynet might in fact be a real possibility and will be coming for us after all. Uber announced it will start using drones for deliveries. When these AI programs become sentient (if they aren’t already…) we are all toast.
The Federal Aviation Administration has awarded Uber Eats and San Diego, CA the right to test a commercial food delivery drone. Uber had previously finished the first test phase which was done at San Diego State University along with McDonald’s. When the drones become a full-time working success, they plan to move on to other food places but for now, just McDonald’s.
But listen, before we think that these drones are going to land on your balcony like some kind of food-bearing Batman, they’re not that sophisticated yet. The restaurant will load the food onto a drone and the drone will fly to a pre-designated drop-off location. Uber’s Elevate Cloud Systems will be tracking and guiding the drone on its mission, and will notify an Eats delivery driver to pick up the food and complete the last mile to hand-deliver the food. The future sees the drones one day landing on top of the drivers’ parked cars.
Uber Elevate Head of Flight Operations (we really need to pay attention to how conglomerate corporations are going to take over the world and enslave us. Uber has a Flight Operations division?), Luke Fischer, said in a statement:
“We’ve been working closely with the FAA to ensure that we’re meeting requirements and prioritizing safety… From there, our goal is to expand Uber Eats drone delivery so we can provide more options to more people at the tap of a button. We believe that Uber is uniquely positioned to take on this challenge as we’re able to leverage the Uber Eats network of restaurant partners and delivery partners as well as the aviation experience and technology of Uber Elevate.”
And about that whole the-drones-deliver-it-to-a-delivery-person thing he said:
“We don’t need to get the drone direct to our customers or consumers… We just have to get it close enough.”
Amazon is also saying it will have drone deliveries running “within months.”
So this is just a test phase to create tracking drones to monitor humanity. I’m calling it now! What’s the point of delivering it to a delivery guy? So the drivers get paid less? I don’t know, I smell two things: a scam, and potential enslavement by oppressive AI overlords. I also bet that people are going to shoot those drones down to collect the food. Don’t tell me it won’t happen. Where there’s food-delivering drones, there will be food-delivering drone pirates. Anything to get a Big Mac for free.