That’s a picture of the toilet paper rose that thieves created and left behind after they broke into Marlboro, Massachusetts resident Nate Roman’s house and CLEANED IT. They didn’t take anything. They just rendered his home spic n’ span. And took the time to leave a toilet paper rose. We’re talking upscale hotel-quality service. That’s one kinky (and cleanly) thief.
CBS Boston reports that Roman came home and smelled cleaning products before noticing that his normal mess had been abnormally cleaned up.
Nate’s 5-year-old son was the first to notice that the back door was ajar which Roman found scary, naturally.
It was terrifying to know someone was in your house,” Roman told WCVB-TV.
“You could smell the cleaning chemicals,” he told WBZ-TV. “I could tell something was wrong so I started looking around the house, and I found that my bathrooms had been cleaned.”
I’m not sure “wrong” was the word to use here. Maybe “disturbing but ultimately positive” is the phrase he wanted.
Roman could file a complaint with the Better Thieves Bureau, though, because the perpetrator neglected to clean the kitchen. His kitchen must have been really nasty because this kinky bitch did the bathrooms. Think of how gross your bathroom gets and this person was scrub-a-dub-dubbing away in a stranger’s bathroom without pay. The kitchen must have been a bacteria dungeon.
The Marlboro police are investigating but currently have no suspects. Roman ultimately thinks that the toilet paper rose is a sign that a professional cleaning crew just did the wrong house.
“It was really the roses that really got me thinking that some professional cleaner had accidentally stumbled into my house,” Roman said. “If I was going to judge the quality of a toilet paper rose I would call this high quality.”
In a related matter, if it was a burglar with a cleaning fetish, which website can I put an ad on to get this person to break into MY house?