Open Post: Hosted By Burglar Buffoonery 

This video is a few days old, but it’s never too late to learn that if you’re going to pull the illegal act of robbing a warehouse and plan to break into that bitch by throwing a brick at the window, put on a helmet and some armor first. Because that brick may not want to be part of your crimes and will bounce off the window and knock your ass out.

Shanghai police released surveillance camera footage from Valentine’s Day of two thieves trying to get into a warehouse to rob it. They both stroll up to the warehouse with bricks in hand. One of them throws a brick, and the window doesn’t break. They should have taken that as a sign and exited stage left. But instead, the other one threw a brick, which didn’t break the window, but ended up breaking his co-robber’s head instead. The thief was hoping he’d leave the scene of the crime dragging away some stolen shit, but instead he left dragging away his knocked-out friend. If two of the Three Stooges turned to a life of crime, it would look like this:

A rep for the Shanghai Public Security Bureau made fun of the robbers in a statement.

“If all burglars were like this, we wouldn’t need to work overtime.”

The thieves haven’t been caught yet, and police don’t know how the knocked-out thief is doing. It’d be some shit if that theif woke up with amnesia, forgot who he was and eventually started a new life as a police officer. But if he did remember what happened when he came to, he hopefully realized that he and his partner in criminal fuckery need to hang up their thievin’ gloves for good. Because being a robber ain’t for you if footage from your crimes make people hum the Benny Hill theme song.

Pic: YouTube