Lou Diamond Phillips Got Busted For DWI After Asking A Cop For Directions

November 3, 2017 / Posted by:

Lou Diamond Phillips could have driven 1000 mph in a school zone while thwacked on booze, diesel fuel, coke, uppers, downers, bath salts, Kellog’s Corn Pops, and airplane glue and I would still practice gratitude over not writing about rape again. Thank you, Lou. Oh, and yes, the star of La Bamba was arrested early this morning in Portland, Texas for DWI.

TMZ reports that Lou was motoring along when he apparently got lost. He stopped to ask a cop for directions.

The cop immediately concluded Phillips was hammered and had him take a field sobriety test, which he flunked.

The actor most famous for playing Ritchie Valens (and for The First Power, which is a delightfully cheesy movie that should be a cult classic) was hauled off to jail. It was there that he reportedly blew a .20. That’s 2 1/2 times the legal limit which means he must have put a $100 bill in the TouchTunes machine cuz’ he was at whatever bar for quite awhile. As of this writing, he remains in jail.

When you have too many Atrial Rubicites (yes, I researched what the most popular beer in Texas is because I am that dedicated to my craft), you should probably get an Uber or Lyft or call some sort of celebrity car. (I’m sure he has some money from the 3 jillion tv shows he’s guest-starred on). Drunk driving is always a poor choice. The cops are not always your friend when you launch a beer-breathed request for directions at them. Use GPS and get your drunk ass home without killing anyone.

This story makes me imagine actress Rosanna De Soto showing up outside the jail to shriek NO! NOT MY LOU DIAMOND! NOT MY LOU DDDDIIIAAAAMMMMOONNDD!” and throw soapy laundry.

Pic: San Patricio Police Dept.

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