Open Post: Hosted By The German Guy Who Swims To Work To Avoid Traffic

August 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Look at him erasing his carbon footprint! Germany’s Benjamin David was over getting to work by riding a bike or taking a bus, where crazy people ask you if you’ve accepted God and yell at you if you respond with anything but “oh, yes, let’s pray, sister!” (That’s a true story.) Benjamin said “verpiss disch!” to mess. He decided to squeeze into a wetsuit, throw all his shit in a waterproof bag, and dive in.

HuffPo reports that David gets to work in 12 minutes, which he says is way faster than his other commuting options. He also finds it exhilarating. (This dude’s got moxie. I can barely fall on the T in the morning. And when I do, I invariably knock over a stroller and they have to stop the train and I have to say I’m narcoleptic so I don’t get arrested.)

“It is beautifully refreshing and also the fastest way,” Benjamin David told Reuters Television.

And what about in the winter wherein the extreme cold would totally make Rose would let go. (“Goodbye, Jack!“) AquaGerman just amps up on the rubber.

However, in winter the river, which flows near the center of the Bavarian capital, can get chilly, at temperatures of about 4 degrees.

“I mostly do this in summer. I am a bit of a wimp, but you can also do it in winter, then I’ve got a longer wet suit,” he said.

This is commendable but probably won’t work for everyone. If you’re not a strong swimmer, and you work pretty far away, you’re probably going to die. What about seaweed? And rip currents? This might be all well and good for some dude on a serene, glassy river. But the ocean cares not a whit for your commuting innovation and will probably kill you. Did you know dry-drowning is a thing? No thanks.

Pic: Huffpost

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