Open Post: Hosted By Pure Golden Sophistication

While reading Go Fug Yourself earlier today, my heart went still and my breath was taken when a sparkly ray of gentility fucked my eyeballs raw. If you’re an aficionado of elegance, then you already know that this perfectly tanned dew drop of gorgeousness is former WAG, TV presenter, beauty advisor and overall pride of Britain Lizzie Cundy. Yes, Cundy. That’s her ex-husband’s last name and she didn’t change it back when they got divorced. Who would? When your last name looks like a typo of “cunty,” it’s a keeper.

Lizzie pretty much just gets attention for running around half-naked, and well, since my forever fashion icon Jodie Marsh’s thirst has been quenched and she’s retired from that game, somebody’s gotta bring the THOTness.

Lizzie Cundy brought loads of demure beauty to the UK premiere of the movie The Hatton Garden Job in London on Tuesday night. It looks like Lizzie was at somebody’s grandma’s house doing her laundry when she realized that she was late for the event and had no clothes to wear, so she yanked a runner off of granny’s dining table, threw it on her body and called it good.

And sure, Lizzie could’ve really made the angels cry by ditching those basic boring black chonies and bedazzling her cooze area, but she knew that us peons would probably get a concussion from passing out on the floor after being hit with that much demureness. Thank you, Lizzie.

Here’s more of Lizzie, who is kind of giving ex-Girl Next Door Bridget in the face, at The Hatton Garden Job premiere and also pictures of her working a highly conservative look at a cancer research benefit.

Pics: Wenn.com