Amanda Seyfried Had A Baby

March 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Sneaky wedding haver Amanda Seyfriend has given birth to a baby girl.

People reports that Karen with the meteorological miracle boobs from Mean Girls is now a parent, alongside quickie husband Thomas Sadowski. It must be a relief not to have to smell all of that Thomas Edison stuff now (?!?).

A rep for the actress confirms to PEOPLE that the couple welcomed their first child, a girl.

The announcement of the birth of their daughter comes a week after Sadoski revealed that he and Seyfried wed during a secret ceremony.

No word on a name as of yet. Prepare for insanity when it comes to that. “Amanda” and “Thomas” are solid human race names so, the celebrity baby naming WTF scales must be balanced. Perhaps “Lightsource Demi Sadowski” or “Pan-Eau-Chocolat Ellen Sadowski” or “Empress Sadowski?” Actually, that last one ain’t bad.

Thomas, who stars on the CBS sitcom Life in Pieces,Β recently revealed on James Corden’sΒ  The Late Late Show that he and Amanda got hitched in a meadow or something equally twee. It would be a darling story but for two things:

1). Amanda and a then-married-to-some-other-chick Thomas might have gotten together whilst doing a Broadway play in 2015. The fun part of this rumor is that Mandy might have at some point allegedly followed Thomas and his then-bride Kimberly Hope to Europe to go stealΒ her man. And it looks like she did! (Couldn’t sheΒ have stolen my husband in a somewhat less dramatic setting like Philly or East Orange? It would have been a total Hollywood romantic comedy if some chick wasn’t left crying under the David’s balls in Florence).

2). The other day I was trolling on Tumblr for porn. Don’t judge, it was research for a post (no it wasn’t). Some spicy GIFs suddenly scrolled in front of me. They were of some chick on a boat crawling up to whomever was holding the camera, pulling down his drawers, and you can draw your own conclusions as to what happened next. And unless Kimberly Hope is a helluva revenge porn filmmaker with access to CGI machines, it was Amanda. The dick in question reportedly belongs to her ex Justin Long.

Please note that I immediately kept scrolling because I am a lady in spirit and that was obviously a private moment (“damn you Cloud,” Amanda must be thinking). Justin is probably fine. His face isn’t visible and he’s got a sizable prong on him, so it’s probably a proud moment for him and the Apple company.

Your fun surprise wedding and lovely birth story can get a little marred by all the alleged salaciousness, but take heart, Amanda and Thomas. Eventually explaining to your daughter how her parents got together in a shady manner and why there’s footage of mommy giving a combo handie/beej online won’t be that bad, versus explaining why mommy has a tattoo of the slang for vaginal shag on her foot. THAT is what’s going to embarrass the girl.

Pic: WENN

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86 responses to “Amanda Seyfried Had A Baby”

  1. runic2627 says:

    Congratulations to Thomas and Amanda Side-of-fries!

  2. louise_brooks says:

    Congrats, homewrecker!

  3. Jumbo says:

    I don’t deserve a link to that tumblr post? Really?? I have to do my own googling now? https://media.tenor.co/images/6e0b58ca5d6ceb84ba910eb6469068be/tenor.gif

  4. Spaz de la Whoreta says:

    Fantastic news! Now the scariest preg face ever should be gone. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7b34b8b3000c06eb1338b77a8b0c7600fd817fc38826a1512a028543df0e667a.jpg

  5. Polyester Poontang says:

    Amanda’s had such a great career without ever being overexposed.

  6. Jumbo says:

    Still searching Tumblr. There are a lot of gifs of her with Channing Tatum. He’s a lot less gross. Just an observation.

  7. Dirk's VT, PhD says:

    Hope your daughter doesn’t grow up to be a homewrecking hussy! Congrats to you and your husband, who is probably screwing someone else right now! Mazel tov!

    • Jumbo says:

      I don’t understand why you’d want to wreck his home. Keep that weird looking fat mouthed fucker. He gives me the heebies.

      • putsomestankonit says:

        She still has the shame of saying “This is my husband Tom, he stars in Life in Pieces.”

  8. ShiroKabocha says:

    Boo, you whores.

  9. putsomestankonit says:

    I had a classmate who’s parents met while her father was teaching her mother’s science class, the mother was 17 at the time. When the school found out what they were up to he was told to marry the student or lose his job. Now that’s a romantic how your parents met story!

    • Jumbo says:

      Well ya gotta make an honest woman out of her.

    • Nikitainthesection says:

      Hahahaha!! Wooooww!!

    • Nikitainthesection says:

      Was he a young teacher or an older teacher?

    • Jessie's Girl says:

      Hmmm…from upstate NY? I had a science teacher who married 2 of his students. One when he was a young teacher. They had kids and divorced. I had him between marriages. Later, he married another former student and more kids. Dude was very average looking but a good athlete. So gross and weird.

      • Nikitainthesection says:

        I knew someone with a story similar with a science teacher. WTF with Science teachers!?!? SERIOUSLY!??!

        • Choupette says:

          My science teacher tried to put the moves on me in 9th grade. He came up to me and handed me a Hershey,s chocolate kiss and told me he wanted to kiss me or some shit like that. I transferred out of his class.
          Disgusting old perv.

          • Nikitainthesection says:

            Yikes. Did you tell someone?

          • Choupette says:

            I told my mom.

          • ellystripes says:

            Ugh, that’s gross, glad you got out.

            My sister and her friend were away when the PD/H/PE class did sex education, and apparently in class the girls had to label all the different ‘lady parts’ on a diagram. The next day, they went to collect the worksheet to complete it at home and the repulsive pervy teacher said he didn’t have any sheets left, so instead he asked them to ‘examine’ their own vaginas using a compact mirror and draw him a picture! Fucking gross! They were 16 at the time. It makes me dry heave just thinking about it. Thankfully they went straight to the Principal and the dude got fired.

        • Nic says:

          Me, too! High school science teacher that I’m certain was messing around with one of my classmates. His wife was in the military and this girl was ALWAYS hanging around, even “babysat” his kids.

          • Nikitainthesection says:

            Shiiiiiitttt. Your story look eerily the same to the story that I have with a girl that I knew in High School.

            In my case I don’t know what his wife was doing.

        • Fat Monica says:

          My earth science teacher was always creepy wth me too!!

      • putsomestankonit says:

        The high school shop teacher at my school was dating the secretary in the teachers offices then dumped her when a student graduated to date her. It was gross, he wasn’t even good looking. The secretary was a bitch but got much bitchier after being dumped.

        • Jessie's Girl says:

          That is insane! Our high school health / gym teacher was messing around with a girl in my class. We knew they were up to no good in his office during lunch. It was extremely obvious. They got married after she finished college. Also, they divorced after 2 or 3 kids. I’ve never known of a woman teacher marrying a male student. Except Mary Kay Letourneau(sp?). Just sayin’. πŸ˜‰

      • Ms Cool says:

        Sure that wasn’t in Wisconsin. We had a guy who left two wives for students. He was not attractive.

      • muffynbear says:

        My high school gym teacher asked my friend at the time (we were in 8th or 9the grade) if she wanted to stay after school to “polish the trophies” in the display case.

        Her mother called the school to complain and told them he was a pervert and the school did NOTHING.

    • Jen says:

      Ew I had a couple teachers like that. One in particular married his student once she turned 18 but she was 15 when they began…whatever.

    • Bey Ship says:

      I graduated the equivalent of US high school in 1987. A student in my year as the freshman year would be to you, met a teacher who was just out of the training school. They began dating that year. She was 15 and he was 23. In that summer of 1987 the married. I hear from family back home that they are preparing to celebrate the 30th anniversary in June of this year. To us it was not all that strange, but of course in today’s time he would be prosecuted and lose his job.

  10. CaliCheeseSucks says:

    Okay Amanda.

    Just remember, the way you get them is the way you lose them.

  11. MayorChapStick76 says:

    Congrats the baby. Amanda,watch him! https://media.giphy.com/media/Dzmg5QAojwb6M/giphy.gif

  12. Calimaria says:

    Hasn’t she met all of her boyfriends when they were attached or in weird ways. I swear her relationship with Dominic Cooper was fucked up too.

  13. muffynbear says:

    Amanda joins the prestigious ranks of Angelina, Julia “Horseface” Roberts, Brtiney Spears, Tori Spelling and Lee Ann Rimes.

    Hell, she followed him all the way to Europe? Talk about homewrecker goals.

  14. Pannanda says:

    Apparently in the hospital Amanda tried to take someone else’s baby even though the baby was spoken for and already was involved with another mommy…

    • CC says:

      too good

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  15. Bayside lass says:

    A former mistress’s/new wife’s confidence in her freshly minted husband is always a beautiful thang. I love how she truly believes that he won’t soon stick his schlong into another side piece. I’m putting $5 on an assistant or another actress. Yeah, I’m a cynic- I wear my medal with pride.

  16. Jen says:

    She always reminds me of MissJane and I’m not sure why-I think maybe MJ used to post a gif or something.

  17. Turtle Dove says:

    instant karma, amanda jo. ….angie jo is case in point.

  18. Mayo says:

    I wish I could feel sorry for her over her leaked pictures but I can’t. I honestly feel that what happened to her was karma, her weird desire of always having to be with a married man or a guy that’s already in a relationship it’s so fucked up. I know it’s not entirely her fault, it’s the other guy’s fault too, but when you actively seek married men and all of your known relationships have had a rocky start where the other part was coincidentally in another relationship right before being with you, is shady as fuck and makes you such a POS. The fact that she always ends up with a man that is already taken, makes me think she likes the thrill of it, of breaking up relationships and being the one the guy chooses in the end. It sucks she had a girl, what kind of example can she give to her? ‘Oh honey, it’s alright to fuck married men if you’re the one that wins him over in the end’.

  19. CC says:

    homewrecker.

  20. pamorama_j says:

    Did she have her baby balance a piece of cheese on its nose like she does her dog?

    • Bey Ship says:

      This must have been before the trip to the surgeon. Almost didn’t recognize her.

      • Depp Mouth says:

        You’re not kidding! She has had a total and complete face change since then. Tragic. I liked her first face.

  21. usernamestaken says:

    She’s carrying a Best Friends Animal Society water bottle. No shit from me.

    • Depp Mouth says:

      It’s a ploy. Don’t fall for it!

      • usernamestaken says:

        LOL- if this hooky ho can give Best Friends a little PR than I shall succumb to her trickery. PS- it is an amazing society. If you like animals, check out their Utah sanctuary. LOVE.

  22. Bey Ship says:

    Do eyes seem to be popping out of her head to anyone else? She always looks like someone is choking her to me.

  23. Just the facts says:

    She was awesome as Lily Kane, that’s all I’ve got.

  24. Depp Mouth says:

    A baby, you say? I guess that means they’ll be needing a nanny.

    Uh oh.

  25. mazohyst says:

    Marrying the guy who cheated on his wife with you and having a baby together? Great idea. Of course, he will not cheat on you. Obviously. Good choices all around.
    My experience? Someone who cheats once will cheat twice. And then some more.

  26. 2hell_dev says:

    I wonder if having a baby girl would put into perspective his own cheating ways….whould he ever think that he wouln’t want his daughter to be treated the way he treated his ex-wife? no, right. It never works that way.
    Or I wonder if he’d ever think about her daughter growing up looking up the morals of her homewrecker mother? no, right? It doesn’t works that way either. Poeple give two shits about that stuff.

  27. CabbyPatchy says:

    So not fetch!

  28. Raja Hindustani says:

    Her punishment for being the other woman will be the 24/7, 365 paranoia of him cheating on her. Anytime he looks at his phone, goes out without her, works late, or argues with her, her imagination will run as wild as my boobs after I take my bra off when I get home.

  29. Upside-down Flower says:

    Just because she had a baby with her (CHEATER!!!) boyfriend doesn’t mean he won’t cheat again. It’s just a matter of time. She doesn’t seem like a very bright person anyway.

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