Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Zima!

February 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Allow me to age myself when I type that I got drunk off Zima, aka the “Zomething Different” candy-ass booze, as a kid. It was a tangy drink you could binge on for the lightweight just-ztarting-out drunks who weren’t ready for the bloat of hops and yeast, or the life-changer known as vodka (aka the gay kids). When Zima was taken off the market in 2008, a part of my childhood…well, young adulthood…died!

True story – I have a friend who proudly owns an unopened bottle of Zima Gold, which was a limited edition version of the brand created to make Zima seem less feminine (people from the suburbs are weird). Well, he can sell that bottle on”Ebay for Drunks” now, because Zima is coming back!

Beer Business Daily (via Ad Age) reports that MillerCoors is going to bring Zima back to a packie near you so the cashier has a reason to sneer that day.

Beer Business Daily on Thursday reported that the brand is already in distributor warehouses and will “allegedly be offered for a limited time only.” A MillerCoors spokesman told Ad Age that “more news [is] coming soon” and that “if you’re one of the zillion fans who have missed Zima, the answer should be clear.”

Originally owned by Coors, the malt beverage surged out of the gate in the early 1990s, before falling on hard times. It was eventually discontinued in the U.S. several years ago, but is still sold in Japan.

Wait, they still sell Zima in Japan? I’ve been holding off on that lifelong dream of visiting the Far East for years. Zima still existing in Japan is the perfect reason to pull the trigger on a trip. History? Culture? Eff, no! Try Zima in vending machines next to pet rhinoceros beetles and porn!

Pic: Food and Wine

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