The Biz Claims Another Romance

February 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Michael K, as you know, just loves his weekends free so that he can drink boxed wine and pretend to watch Golden Girls reruns. I say pretend because I cannot, in good conscience, say that being half passed out on the floor near the TV is really “watching” something. So, he’s hired me! Hi! Hello! Hey! Hi! My name is Martin and I’m Dlisted’s new weekend writer and I’m pretty sure this is going to be like that movie Spotlight. Minus the Boston accents and Mark Ruffalo hunched over the entire time as a “character choice”. I like Sharon Stone, drinking and giving people the middle finger. That’s pretty much all there is to me. I also like messy shit and writing things that make me laugh – that’s why I’m here. With that said, let’s move on to the days of other people’s lives!

When people love each other very much and are tired of living in sin, the man proposes and they become an engagement. When the man in a dress makes the two people kiss, a white light shoots out and they turn into a wedding. Sometimes though, the man in the dress never comes and the engagement breaks and the two people go back to hanging out in hotel bars writing their names and numbers on cocktail napkins and being escorted to taxis because they’ve had too much grown up drink. This is especially prevalent in Hollywood and it is what has happened to Peter Facinelli and Jaimie Alexander.

Their reps, via People, said, “due to conflicting family and work commitments on opposite coasts, and after much consideration, Peter and Jaimie have chosen to part ways amicably and remain good friends.” Time and space apart always kill a relationship and that’s the number one plague in THE BIZ. The things these people go through for their art… (Peter is currently on Supergirl and Jaimie is on Blindspot.)

…but, consider this for a moment. I present to you Exhibit A, the only evidence in my theory and really the only one you need. Would you be able to go through with a lifetime commitment of becoming a wedding with someone that had allowed hair and makeup to do this to them? I THINK NOT! THE PROSECUTION RESTS AND CASE CLOSED! It still boggles my mind how a franchise that had as much money as Twilight hired hair and makeup people who have clearly never seen what human heads look like.


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