Bette Midler Will Star In “Hello, Dolly!” On Broadway

Theater queens are trying to control their puckering b-holes with one hand while throwing money at Telecharge with the other, because Bette Midler announced today that she’s going back to Broadway in a revival of Hello, Dolly! Hardcore Bette Midler fans better say, “Hello, bankruptcy,” because you know premium tickets are going to go for a kidney and the entire contents of your savings account. But performances don’t begin until 2017 so hardcore Bette Midler fans have time to make a baby and sell it on the black market for tickets.

Playbill says that rehearsals start a year from now and previews will begin March 13, 2017. It will open April 20th. They haven’t booked a theater yet. Four-time Tony winning director Jerry Zaks will direct and Warren Carlyle will choreograph. Hello, Dolly! hasn’t been on Broadway since 1996. Bette had this to say about showing Barbra Streisand how it’s done!

“I am looking forward to portraying one of the most beloved characters in all of American Musical Comedy, Dolly Levi, born Gallagher, in Hello, Dolly! I know I’m going to have the time of my life, and I am so glad to be under the wings of Scott Rudin as Producer and Jerry Zaks as Director. See you next year!”

Past Broadway Dollys have included the original Carol Channing (DUH), Pearl Bailey, Ginger Rogers, Betty Grable, Phyllis Diller and Ethel Merman.

Bette seems pretty perfect for Dolly and she should do it on Broadway one day, but they can’t do a revival without Carol Channing in the title role! It’s a law I read somewhere. Carol Channing is 94 years old, but I’m sure she can still kick, stretch and kick as Dolly. And if not, she can do the role while sitting on a La-Z-Boy. I’d still pay to see that.

Pic: Caesars Entertainment