Open Post: Hosted By Kermit The Frog’s New Piece

September 1, 2015 / Posted by: Michael K

Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog announced early last month that they were done with each other after nearly 40 years together and I thought it was some shameless stunt to promote their new show on ABC. It may very well still be a shameless stunt, but if it is, they’re milking it all the way by introducing Kermit the Frog’s new piece Denise! (I love that her name is Denise.) I guess Kermit is a 100% porkosexual, because he just can’t get enough of pig.

No, Kermit and Denise didn’t meet on Ashley Madison. They met at ABC (so they claim). Denise is the head of ABC’s marketing department, so it’s not exactly a coincidence that ABC released pictures of that barn wrecking gold digging tramp swine. A source (Denise) also told People that Kermit’s got it bad for Denise.

Kermit, who is still working with Miss Piggy on her late-night talk show Up Late with Miss Piggy – a situation that is being documented on the upcoming ABC series The Muppets – has been spotted around town numerous times with a head of marketing at ABC named Denise, a source tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“She’s always stopping by the set of Up Late,” the source says of Denise. “He calls her his girlfriend,” adds the source.

Meanwhile, Miss Piggy is drying her sad tears on Liam Hemsworth. Does that mean that Liam is a Plushie, is into bestiality or a little of both?

I really don’t know if I should be on Team Miss Piggy or Team Denise.

Miss Piggy is a legend, an icon of glamour and yes, she flirts with other tricks, but she’s always been ride or die for Kermit. On the other hoof, she’s a sloppy drunk, a bossy bitch and is always issuing a karate chop on Kermie. Then there’s Denise. Denise has an A++ eyebrow situation, is already an accomplished home wrecker and she looks like the scheming type who will “leak” dick pics once Kermit drops her. But on the other hoof, her snout job is a mess, she’ll probably become friends with the Kartrashians, she’s definitely trying to get a reality show out of it and you know she’s got THOT (that hog over there) tattooed on her felt ass cheek. I bet it’s only a matter of time before we see her batting her scheming eyes for the paps as she works the ho stroll while struttin’ to the brand new Lexus convertible that Kermit bought her.

And if Denise is really going to play the game, she needs to elevate her fashion and stop buying her shit from Dress Barn.

Tags: Open Post

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