Open Post: Hosted By The Sensitive Hobbit And His Wax Figure

May 29, 2015 / Posted by:

This is bullshit. Ed Sheeran, the ginger tabby cat that was turned into a British yodeler by Taylor Swift’s on-call magic fairy, got a wax figure at Madame Tussauds in NYC. I’ve never been to that Madame Tussauds, but I guarantee you that they don’t have a wax figure of Rojo Caliente. If any ginger in this world deserves a creepy wax figure at Madame Tussauds in NYC, it’s the Queen of NYC Rojo Caliente!

Madame Tussauds can easily right this wrong. They can turn that Ed Sheeran wax figure into a Rojo Caliente one by scraping off its beard, installing a halo over its head, sticking angels wings on its back and making it so that it farts out a hot ray of sunshine every hour on the hour. Instant Rojo statue!

Ed Instagrammed a picture of his statue and added this little caption:

Met my waxwork at Madame Tussaud, he didn’t say much but he’s got a bulge so it’s all good

Ed saying that his wax figure has a bulge makes me say, “Yes. Yes, I’d totally do that wax figure.” On that note, if you’re ever disgusted with yourself over some gross one-night-stand you had with a disgusting trick, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just tell yourself that out there in the world is gutter slut that is more hard-up and desperate than you and yes, it’s me.


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