See, this is what happens when Our (Delicate) Lady of Cheetos is forced to do moves more strenuous than waving her arms and flapping her mouth lips . Owwies happen!
Brit Brit was performing in her show in Las Vegas last night when she figured that since it’s Hump Day she might as well go full crazy by adding some jumping to that armography. Wrong move. Brit Brit’s ankled snapped and her ass hit the stage faster than mine would if you screamed out, “There’s a dick on the ground!” (Meanwhile, Mimi and her fabulous dolphin friend Osborne cackled after bending the ankle on an Our Lady of Cheetos voodoo doll. There can only be one Queen of Las Vegas! Shh, don’t tell Mimi that it’s Elton John.) Brit Brit sat her busted ass down and she miraculously kept singing and she was even able to sing with her mouth closed. Brit Brit is magic. Ventriloquistney!
Whoever tweets for Brit Brit said that her ankle is fine. But they were farting up lies. TMZ says that doctors told her that her ankle is so jacked up that she can’t perform for at least two nights. She’s canceled her Friday and Saturday night shows. Brit Brit’s only response to the doctors was, “Okie, can ah have one of dem green lollies now?”
I have tickets to see Brit Brit and Mimi in two weeks, because I’m a supporter of fine arts and possible train wrecks (mostly, possible train wrecks). So I’m going to pray to my Starbucks Saint Candle while clutching a rosary made of cheese balls that her ankle heals soon. Because if she cancels the show I have tickets for, I’ll have to go see that cat extravaganza instead. And I’m not going to Las Vegas to see polished performances and true artistry.