This Stupid Ass Dress Is Destroying Humanity

February 26, 2015 / Posted by:

By now, you might have blood on your hands from shanking and strangling all the people in your life who see a different colored dress than you.

On Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and beyond, everyone is fighting over whether the dress in this picture is black and blue or white and gold. The picture was first posted to Tumblr yesterday and today, it’s everywhere and wars have been declared over this shit. If you look outside your window, you’ll probably see your fellow man punching out another one of your fellow men while screaming, “It’s fucking white and gold, you asshole!” When I first saw this picture on Twitter, I clearly saw black and blue. I got up to piss and when I got back, it was white and gold. Since I’m used to the Internet’s tricky ways, I immediately figured it was just a GIF and it was slowly changing to screw with us all. But I checked and it wasn’t a GIF.

It’s apparently not a prank. Buzzfeed says that because of the shitty lighting in the picture, your eyes are trying to compensate and are playing tricks on you. They think it’s actually a white and gold dress, but the crap lighting “casts the whites in a blue tone and mutes the gold to a darker color.” Or maybe it was planted on the Internet by the aliens, because they know that we’re a simple kind of creature who will destroy each other over the colors of a stupid dress. My friend and her husband looked at the picture at the same time on the same screen and she saw white and gold, and he saw black and blue. They’re getting a divorce now. Soon, that dress will look red to all of us, because we’re going to stab our eyeballs from the frustration of it all.

In a few weeks, the last living man on the planet is going to have a seat on a pile of rubble and say to himself, “That damn dress. But it was black and blue.

Can we just stop fighting over the colors of this dress and at least agree that the main color is a bright shade of UGLY AS FUCKING SHIT. Can we at least agree to that?

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