Open Post: Hosted By A Tortoise Helping A Fallen Bitch Out

December 15, 2014 / Posted by:

File under: Slow News Day And I Mean That In More Ways That One.

I don’t know how that tortoise ended up on its back. Maybe it’s my kind of slutty tortoise and after it had a missionary-style quickie in the bushes with another slutty tortoise, it couldn’t get up and its fuck buddy left without helping a ho out. Whatever the case may be, that tortoise is lucky to have a friend who always has its Captain-Save-A-Ho cap on. Someone visiting the Taipei Zoo in Taiwan took this thrilling and edge-of-your-seat video of a tortoise helping out another tortoise who accidentally flipped on its shell. Who needs Life Alert when you’ve got a tortoise friend around who’s got your back and doesn’t even expect a thank you for helping your fallen ass out.

And this video probably made Mama June a little nostalgic for the days when she and Sugar Bear were still together. That’s how Sugar Bear used to roll Mama June off of her back after they finished boning.

via Tastefully Offensive 

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