Open Post: Hosted By Lea Michele’s Wonky Eyebrow Situation

December 11, 2014 / Posted by:

The good news is: At yesterday’s The Hollywood Reporter’s Women in Entertainment breakfast in L.A., Lea Michele didn’t nearly pull her face muscles by contouring her mug into weird sexy expressions like she normally does. Lea smartly took the advice of the person who told her that nobody wants to see her “constipated, mouth-breathing trout having an orgasm” face and they really don’t want to see it at breakfast times.

The bad news is: Those brows.

Somewhere in The Constitution it needs to say that unless you’re born with big, Groucho Marx-like statement brows, they’re a privilege, not a right. To quote my friend when I bit off the tip of my fingernail and used it to floss my teeth at lunch, “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should…and I really wish you didn’t” Those durr brows are the work of a person who obviously did a rush job. They couldn’t stand listening to Lea Michele go on and on (about herself probably) and they velcroed on those felt brows real quick so they could get out of there. I understand why, but those brows are a wreck. It looks like the right one took a huge chunk out of the left one. ¬†They make her look like Darren Criss in lazy drag as Idina Menzel.

Maybe Lea thought that if her brows are big enough to see from space, Jessica Lange will stop for her and won’t mistake her for wall. Jessica Lange wasn’t at yesterday’s event, but if she was, there would’ve been a repeat performance of this Shade Hall of Fame moment:


Jessica Lange would later be heard saying, “Someone should call an exterminator, because that wall I walked past earlier had furry caterpillars crawling on it.”


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