Open Post: Hosted By Queen Aretha Nearly Screaming Her Dress Off While Doing “Rolling In The Deep” Live

September 30, 2014 / Posted by:

Yesterday I linked to Aretha Franklin’s cover of fellow BBW Adele’sRolling In The Deep” mashed up with “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” which is off of her new album Aretha Franklin Sings the Great Diva Classics, and I really didn’t pay attention to the auto-tuned-as-hell vocals, because my sense of seeing needed to borrow fuel from my sense of hearing to fully take in the spray paint beauty of her Photoshopped cholita brows on the album cover. Well, my ears paid attention during Queen Aretha’s live performance of the song on The Late Show with David Letterman last night and smoke is coming out of my hearing holes, because my eardrums are fried.

Queen Aretha screamed, hollered and yelled out those musical notes like the IRS was knocking on her front door and ready to put a lien on her house if she didn’t pay up. Queen Aretha really went for it and her screams nearly melted the glue off of the industrial-strength double-sided tape that kept that hideous strapless bedspread from sliding off of her magnificent chichis. Aretha was so damn aggressive that I think her delicately painted-on brows jumped up about half an inch because they couldn’t take the heat rushing out of her mouth. Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep your ears safe from Aretha’s VOICE. SCREAM IT, Aretha!

The best part of the performance was the look on Cissy Houston’s face as she sang back-up. In the span of those 4 and a half minutes, Cissy looked like she took a nap, wrote her grocery list in her head and made a note to never do this shit again.


Cissy Houston’s “Cissy, hit the ‘decline’ button the next time ReRe calls” face + Aretha snatching my ears off with her screaming + my eyes bracing themselves for the sight of that dress falling = the perfect performance.

Pics: Splash,

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