Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 29, 2014 / Posted by:

Queen Valanice from King’s Quest!

King’s Quest was a series of computer games released in the 80s/early 90s that told the story of King Graham going on quests and fighting goblins and dragons and all that shit. They were puzzle games, which mostly meant that you walked around and picked up items like dead fish because later it would open a lock.

Anyway, Valanice was the queen of Daventry (yes, I remember this shit) who looked like the evil stepmother from Cinderella. Mostly she just hung out in the background but in King’s Quest VII she took CENTER STAGE! The game features Valanice nagging her dumb bitch daughter Rosella to get hitched and stop fucking singing, only to have Rosella fall down some hole and into another land, so Valanice goes after her BECAUSE SHE WANTS A WEDDING. They fall into another land, where Valanice searches for her daughter while yelling at little kids and turning a tree into a lady that looks like Bianca from Beverly Hills Teens.

This game was so damn addictive, that my friend Sarah and I left a New Year’s Eve party junior year of high school by faking she got her period so we could go home and play this until 3 in the morning. Anyway, here’s the intro to King’s Quest VII featuring a beautiful song that is destined to be a Demi Lovato hit someday.

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