Open Post: Hosted By Zachelle Cuddling In Ibiza

August 2, 2014 / Posted by:

True love IS pretty pretty princess Zac Efron staring at Michelle Rodriguez’s face and saying to himself, “Bitch, you need some powder to dim that shine,” while the bi butch queen stares off into the ocean and thinks to herself, “This moment would be even more special if a pod of vaginas swam by.

Along with every famous, semi-famous and not-really-at-all-that-famous whore in the world, Zac Efron and permanent vacationer¬†Michi Likes Sausage are still in Ibiza. Yesterday, the completely real couple that was born in a publicist’s office spent the day jet-skiing and swimming off of a yacht with those Brant twinks.

During a trip to the Caribbean a million years ago, I went on one of those sunset booze cruises where they serve you cups and cups of fruit-flavored corn syrup and rum and play Bob Marley’s greatest hits over and over again. On that sunset booze cruise was me, my boyfriend at the time, a bikini top-wearing pregnant chick with a Garfield tramp stamp, a family of mormons who were totally covered up and a bunch of fat biker dudes who looked like members of a half-assed ZZ Top cover band. That was the weirdest boat trip I’ve ever seen until I saw these pictures of Michelle Rodriguez, Zac Efron and those Brant twinks on a yacht together. Massive amounts of cocaine really brings people (and the fuckery) together. Those damn Brant twinks. They get to snort lines off of Zac Efron’s hairy cum gutters and all because they were pulled out of Stephanie Seymour’s vagina.

And here’s a few pictures including one of Michelle Rodriguez wearing a “Sex, Drugs & Rap” t-shirt. At first I thought it read “Sex, Drugs & Rape” and I figured that Roman Polanski quit making movies and went into the t-shirt designing business.

Pics: Splash, FameFlynet

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