Open Post: Hosted By David Beckham Looking Like A Melting Oscar Statue

July 18, 2014 / Posted by:

The Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Sports Awards (whatever that is) happened in L.A. yesterday and two of David Beckham’s sons, Romeo and Cruz, presented him with some kind of award. Just like the regular Kids’ Choice Awards, people get slimed onstage, but instead of getting covered with Slimer’s green barf, people got covered with gold goo. Becks and his boys got slimed and afterward they all looked Liberace’s mansion just projectile diarrhea’d all over them. They’re giving us “if the Hollywood Blvd. Gold Man went to Death Valley and melted.”

Romeo and Cruz both seem grossed out, but it’s weird to me that Becks isn’t dry heaving on the stage and screaming for a Hazmat crew. I mean, Becks getting covered in liquid gold is like all of us regulars getting covered in wet caca since he shits liquid gold. Is he trying to tell us something?

And on another note, is a melting Oscar statue noted Oscar chaser Leonardo DiCaprio’s worst nightmare or a bittersweet dream?

Pics:, AP Images

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