Open Post: Hosted By Pooooooorn, Dan, Porn

March 25, 2014 / Posted by:

During a report about the Oscar Pistorius trial on Good Morning America today, Anderson Cooper’s silver fox understudy Dan Abrams brought up the fact that Oscar was using his phone before he shot Reeva Steenkamp. The screeching harpie of all screeching harpies, Nancy Grace (who was done up like an Emo 11th grader at prom), piped in and let it be known that Oscar was looking for porn. I don’t know what Nancy was getting at, but I do know that she loves saying porn. I also know that every time Nancy Grace says the word porn, my prostate deflates a little more and my nipple knobs recoil into my body.

They should totally make an anti-porn add-on for Firefox of Nancy Grace saying porn. If you think one of your loved ones is jacking it too much to porn (medical note: You can never watch TOO much porn), just install the Nancy Grace anti-porn add-on on their browser. Every time they go to PornHub or BigSausagePizza.com, Nancy Grace will pop up screaming, “POOOOORN, DAN, PORN. PORN!” It’ll be hard for them to fap when they’re using their hands to punch their ears repeatedly.

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