Open Post: Hosted By The Most Graceful And Classiest Wedding March You’ve Ever Seen

August 21, 2013 / Posted by:

And just like that, Miley Cyrus scratched “twerk down the aisle to a Buckcherry song” off of her dream wedding list, because this delicate and demure Illinois swan has done it first and cannot be topped.

A proud daughter posted this video of her 43-year-old mother and my new idol working her ass and dropping it low while struttin’ down the aisle to Buckcherry’sCrazy Bitch,” which is about Parasite Hilton’s sex tape. When a groom is watching the exquisite rose he’s going to spend the rest of his life with work her way down the aisle, he definitely wants to hear the lyrics:

You’re crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I’m on top of it
When I dream, I’m doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Those lyrics should’ve been their vows!

Gawker says that of course, YouTube commenters acted like YouTube commenters by throwing jealous hate on the regal bride for redefining the wedding march. She fought back with this:

who made the rule on how my wedding should be and just so you know it was my wedding at my house and they were my guests if and when you ever find anyone to marry your narrow minded self you can have your wedding at your location with your guests in your way and guess what I will respect your choice because I live in the USA and that is what we do here. And thank you to all my friends and family (including my son) who fight or have fought for my freedom to do this

Wow I can promise I am not pregnant and I will bet my IQ is higher then yours and guess what I am employed with a great job and in my job I care for all different people with no judgment. WE had a wedding for us the craziness that is in our heads and all our friends and family get it. Have been told it was greatest wedding people have been too. You all just upset that you don’t have creativity or the balls to live your life freely like we do. Thank GOD I live in the USA

See everyone loved it I have total self respect and proud of everything I do with no regrets and thank GOD I can defend this. All those people are my family they grew up with me and raised me. I stand by this and so does my husband friends and family. All I wish is that I can find a wider shot so you all can see all the guests dancing and rocking out like we always do. I am a 43 year old grandma who rocks out and enjoys life. Proud of me and my family so all that are out there ROCK ON

Tell ’em, you Crazy Bitch!

That dad only covered his child’s ears, because that boy is way too young to be exposed to this level of sophistication and he hasn’t yet acquired a palate for this kind of elegance.

My only complaint about this is that she didn’t wear exquisite lucite heels, she wasn’t wearing a tear-away dress and there wasn’t a pole at the end of the aisle. But other than that, this is perfect and Duchess Kate could never!

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