Open Post: Hosted By Mimi’s Exploding Dress

May 24, 2013 / Posted by:

Oops! Bright and early this morning, the Unicorn Butterfly Empress of the Pink Rainbows, Mimi, was on Good Morning America to promote her new song with Miguel called #Beautiful (I too wish that hash tag was a joke). But the only beautiful thing to come out of her visit was the moment thatn happened during her talk with life-like robot Lara Spencer.

The cries of sequins filled Central Park when Mimi’s ten-sizes-too-small Ver-sayce dress popped in the back like a can of Pillsbury Flaky Layers biscuits. The animal hospitals were flooded with lambs who suffered cardiac arrests from almost seeing Mimi’s Hello Titty balls in all their glory.

Because Mimi wanted to rack up as many YouTube views as possible, she also dropped a verbal shit bomb before apologizing to Donatella Versace for squeezing her goodies into a dress that doesn’t fit her. Mimi should never apologize for being Dyslexic when it comes labels on clothes. We see a size European 34 on the label and Mimi sees, “YOU’LL FIT INTO THIS, DAHLING!” But whatever, even if Mimi’s dress popped off. She had it covered. You know she had pasties of Nick Cannon’s face covering her nibble knobs.

And here’s Mimi singing that #Beautiful song with Miguel:

Gawker says that Mimi’s people dubbed her vocals for the West Coast broadcast. The clip from the East Coast broadcast that Gawker has is hilarious. Mimi sounds like a baby hyena trying to coo and scream at the same time. That’s what a monkey with laryngitis sounds like when it’s being burned alive.

But damn, Mimi’s people do not play around.

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